Jezebel: Suri Cruise

This Week In Tabloids: Suri Cruise's Christmas List Includes Diamonds & A Show Pony

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 15:18:40 EST

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we sip from the gossip goblets of In Touch, Us, Life & Style, Ok! and Star. This week, Khloe Kardashian "will do anything" for a baby; Angelina Jolie is a "basket case," and forget a Lexus with a bow on it: One-percenter Suri Cruise will be opening up a show pony on Christmas morning! More »

Suri Cruise Has Harsh Words For Celebrity Tots In 'Suri's Burn Book'

Margaret Hartmann — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 10:50:00 EST

It seems Suri Cruise is no longer content with having TMZ For Kidz report lies about her, so she's started her own Tumblr, Suri's Burn Book, where she can weigh in on her fellow celebritots. So far Hollywood' most precocious child has revealed that she loathes Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and Violet Affleck's scruffy style, has an unhealthy fear of Kate Middleton's non-existant daughter upstaging her, and is harboring crushes on both Kingston Rossdale and Cruz Beckham. After spotting the Beckhams at Color Me Mine, she writes, More »

Katie & Suri's Panda-monium

Dodai Stewart — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 17:00:00 EDT

[Pittsburgh, October 8. Images via Pacific Coast News Online.] More »

Lady Gaga Sued for More than Thirty Pieces of Silver Over Judas

Erin Gloria Ryan — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 11:00:41 EDT

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Our Lady of the Gaga's chart-topping but inscrutable hit Judas is a total ripoff of a 1999 song by a singer named Rebecca F. At least that's what Ms. F claims. If you listen to both songs one right after the other, I guess that sound sort of similar, in the same way that every pop song written and sung in the same key is similar. If the prophesy holds true, Lady Gaga will deny the accusation three times before the cock crows, and then the sky will turn black and there will be an earthquake at noon and Lady Gaga will cover Lord of the Dance, an unsettlingly upbeat song about crucifixion that Catholics sometimes sing in church. [Express.co.uk]

Charlie Sheen's character is going to die in a "meat explosion" on Two & A Half Men, and by "meat explosion," they mean he will get hit by a train and the impact will force his body into small pieces, not "meat explosion" like what happens when you eat Pop Rocks at a Brazilian Restaurant. [Buzzfeed]

Following the meat explosion, Sheen will be roasted on Comedy Central. I hope they marinate him first, and maybe apply a nice spice rub, because I bet Charlie Sheen is as tender as a coked out lamb. [TMZ]

Britney Spears is- well, was- in New York, where she left her hotel dressed like you doing laundry in your first apartment. [ONTD]

Jennifer Aniston Britney Spearsed around in Hawaii, feet naked as jaybirds. In future news: Jennifer Aniston has hookworms. [OMG]

Dexter star Michael C. Hall recently got divorced but says that he's just fine; he's got his cats to keep him company. More »

This Week In Tabloids: Cancer Survivor Michael Douglas Has A Smoke

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 14:12:47 EDT

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we "read" the celebrity tabloids so you don't "have" to. This week, Jen Aniston is "desperate" to move in with J'ethroux; Katie Holmes is "desperate" to be skinny; Shiloh is "desperate" for attention; and we desperately hope that Michael Douglas isn't really smoking again. More »

Jessica Alba Finally Finds Out What Boobs Are For

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 09:00:00 EDT

Jessica Alba says being a mother has helped her discover her sexuality. "I was quite shy with it [my sexuality]. It wasn't something I embraced until I had my daughter. I saw how incredible and amazing it is to be a woman and to be able to create a life," she tells Allure. "There's a reason why certain areas of the body are desirable — because it all leads to reproduction. There's a science behind it all. It's not just to sell whatever you're selling on a billboard or a magazine or a movie." And! She might wear a bikini in a movie, but she won't go nude: "At least I'm still covered. I'm wearing as much as a bathing suit. It's not like I'm naked. I'm not terribly comfortable with being in a bikini, but covering up my genitals is different than not covering up my genitals, at the end of the day. I do see a difference in that, to put it really frankly." [Showbiz Spy, Scoop] More »

A Suggested Summer Reading List For Celebrities

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 18:50:00 EDT

Summer's here, which means it's time to pick up a book — or a Kindle, or an iPad. With all the traveling and hanging by the beach or pool, reading is fundamental! And celebrities are getting in on the action. More »

Daniel Craig Completely Horrified By Early Cut Of Dragon Tattoo Movie

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 09:00:00 EDT

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The fairly explicit posters for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo are just the tip of the iceberg: Daniel Craig says the film is "as adult as you can possibly make it." Director David Fincher showed him an early cut of the flick, and James Bond freaked:"Fincher, he's not holding back. They've given him free rein. He showed me some scenes recently, and my hand was over my mouth, going, 'Are you fucking serious?' It's not that he simply showed me footage that was horribly graphic. It was stuff that was happening, or had happened. And somehow you don't see it… There's more than one way to sense violence. Much more powerful ways than seeing it step-by-step." [Contact Music via Esquire, USA Today, Independent ] More »

This Week In Tabloids: Pregnancy Rumors For Jen Aniston & Lady Gaga

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 15:04:55 EDT

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we "read" the celebrity tabloids so you don't "have" to. Today, we get a good look at the newborn babies of Kim Zolciak and Alicia Silverstone. We spot Suri Cruise shopping for a $6,000 leopard skirt. We hear that both Jennifer Aniston and Lady Gaga might be pregnant, and we learn which celebrities have "outtie" belly buttons. More »

This Week In Tabloids: Suri's $100,000 Treehouse Has Electricity & Shag Carpeting

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 14:40:00 EDT

Welcome back to Midweek Madness. Every Wednesday, we hang out with our seriously romantic boyfriends, aka gossip mags Ok!, Us, Star, In Touch and Life & Style. This week: Suri Cruise's $100,000 tree house has shag carpeting and running water; Brad's birthday present for Angelina involved flying to the Midwest, renting a vintage convertible and playing a mixtape he made; and Rihanna and Chris Brown are secretly "reconnecting." More »

This Week In Tabloids: JWoww's Ex Says She Stabbed Him With Steak Knife

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 15:00:00 EDT

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we search for hot, delicious morsels of truth in the bread baskets of In Touch, Star, Ok!, Life & Style and Us. This week, Mariah Carey invites us in to gawk at the elaborate nurseries created for her unborn twins; the lady who agreed to marry the robot from The Bachelor is all potato, potahto, let's call the whole thing off; and JWoww's ex-boyfriend Tom claims that the Jersey Shore star stabbed him with a steak knife. Oh, and Lindsay Lohan has been drinking again (allegedly!), but you knew that. More »

Judge Judy Is Going To Be Okay!

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 09:00:00 EDT

Judge Judy will be released from the hospital shortly! She was rushed to the emergency room yesterday, after feeling nauseous while taping her show. A source says: "She was just sitting on the stand during her show taping and she started saying things that didn't make any sense." Then: "She said, 'I need to stop, I'm not feeling well." But last night, JJ tweeted: "All my tests were negative. I feel fine!" And even joked about her physician: "Fired the doc though, telling me "ummm..", not an answer u fool!" [Radar Online] More »

This Week In Tabloids: Suri Cruise To Launch Production Company Any Day Now

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 16:11:00 EDT

Welcome back to Midweek Madness! Every Wednesday, we "read" Star, In Touch, Ok!, Us and Life & Style so you don't "have" to. This week: The Bachelor's Emily and Brad are dunzo; Bradley Cooper and Renée Zellweger broke up over her love of sweatpants; Fergie has a new face; and Suri Cruise is taking midnight meetings and paging through Vanity Fair for her super secret start-up project. More »

Suri's Pacifier Sparks Furor

Anna North — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 18:30:00 EST

Is it time for Suri Cruise to hang up her pacifier? The inquiring minds at Us Weekly want to know! More »

Suri Cruise Is Intent On Finding Just The Right Shade Of Lipgloss

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 14:35:00 EST

[Vancouver, February 3. Image via Flynet.]

This Week In Tabloids: Angelina Adopts African Kid

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 14:09:23 EST

This very special episode of Midweek Madness is better late than never! More »

Katie & Suri Meet A Piggy At The Petting Zoo

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 10:45:00 EST

[Los Angeles, January 11. Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

Further Evidence Suri Cruise Is An Obvious Fashion Icon

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:50:00 EST

We've heard that Suri Cruise is really into fashion before, but in the February issue of Elle, Katie Holmes reiterates how dedicated her daughter is to clothes. More »

Tom & Katie Make A Deal & Shake On It

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 15:18:00 EST

[New York, December 20. Image via INFDaily.]

Katie Calms Suri With Cozy Jammies & Sparkling Water

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 11:22:00 EST

[Suri visits mommy on the set of Jack And Jill, Los Angeles, December 13. Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

Madonna Opens Gym In Mexico

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 09:00:00 EST

Madonna has opened a new gym in Mexico City.

Suri Cruise Is Counting Your Engrams

Jenna Sauers — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 13:20:00 EST

LOS ANGELES, November 24, 2010: Scientolospawn Suri Cruise will audit you as soon as look at you. Image via Bauer-Griffin. More »

Katie And Suri Have Quite The Escort

Jessica Coen — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 18:30:00 EST

[Fort Lauderdale, November 23: The giant pink stuffed animal belongs to the sheriff. Image via INF.]

This Week In Tabloids: Eva Longoria's Husband Has Text Affair

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 14:05:40 EST

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I sniff the tabloids, searching for the sweet aroma of gossip. Today, Tony Parker's accused of sending "hundreds" of suspicious texts, while Angelina and Brad prepare for a New Year's wedding. More »

Maybe Third Time's a Charm for Spencer and Heidi

Lauri Apple — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 10:33:49 EST

After almost getting divorced, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are back in marital blissland and preparing to renew their marriage vows. They've been through so much together! Isn't their ability to forget the past kind of inspiring?

Source Claims Beyoncé Is Pregnant

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 09:00:00 EDT

Us Weekly is reporting that Beyoncé is pregnant.

This Week In Tabloids: The Jolie-Pitt Kids Swear, Drink & Drive

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 14:00:00 EDT

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I bask in sunny rays of gossip. This week: The Jolie-Pitt kids curse in French; Katie wanders Prague saddened by Scientology; Jennifer Grey is awesome; Rachel Zoe is pregnant. More »

Rumor: Rachel Zoe Is Pregnant

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 09:00:00 EDT

Rachel Zoe is pregnant, according to often-inaccurate tabloid Ok! magazine.

Tim Gunn Hates On Pretty Much Everyone, From Suri To The Salahis

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 12:09:00 EDT

Continuing his "Fuck You" tour in support of his new book, the Project Runway mentor stopped by Access Hollywood yesterday to shit-talk Suri Cruise, Lindsay Lohan, Lady Gaga, and the Salahis (who were listening in on a live feed). More »

Angelina Slams Church Planning On Burning Koran

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 09:00:00 EDT

Angelina Jolie is in Pakistan, raising awareness about the floods that have devastated the country, but she also spoke about the Florida church which plans to mark the ninth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks by burning the Koran.

Katie Holmes Can't Get Dressed Without Suri's Input

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 13:25:00 EDT

Suri may only be four years old, but she sounds like an Anna Wintour in the making. More »

Aww, Suri Has Entered Her Flashdance Phase

Dodai Stewart — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 11:15:00 EDT

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[Toronto, August 22. Image via INFDaily.]

Hilary Duff Gets Hitched

Hortense Smith — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 10:30:00 EDT

Hilary Duff married her hockey player boyfriend Mike Comrie yesterday; the two have been dating since 2007. [People]

Suri Confused By Her New Mother, Jackie Kennedy

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 14:20:00 EDT

[Toronto, July 15. Image via INFDaily.]

This Week In Tabloids: Housewives Finale Spoilers; Heidi & Spencer's Fake Breakup

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 14:30:00 EDT

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Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I nibble hot, delicious gossip served up by In Touch, Star, Us, Ok! and Life & Style. This week: The Housewives are feuding; Sandy's adopting and Heidi and Spencer are faking. More »

Don't You Want Some Bunny To Love?

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 25 May 2010 12:50:00 EDT

[New York, May 24. Image via Splash.]

Baby Needs A New Pair Of Shoes

Dodai Stewart — Mon, 24 May 2010 12:50:00 EDT

[Beverly Hills, May 23. Image via x17.]

This Week In Tabloids: Charlie Sheen's Dumb Disguise; Angelina's 7th Kid

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 14:00:00 EDT

Wednesdays we play Midweek Madness, masquerading as enthusiasts of Star, Ok!, Us, In Touch and Life & Style. This week, Charlie Sheen's wearing the "dumbest disguise ever"; Kate Hudson might have breast implants and Lady Gaga is a wedding crasher. More »

Plot In The Act

Anna Holmes — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 13:50:00 EDT

[New York, April 12. Image via INF]

My Bunny And Me

Hortense Smith — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 14:00:00 EDT

[New York, April 10. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]