In the post-apocalyptic future, we will be building our zombie defense forts from old copies of Fifty Shades of Grey, building our fires with Fifty Shades Darker, and wiping our asses with Fifty Shades Freed.

Meanwhile, humanity needs to figure out what to do with all these copies, because the cheap glue in the binding guarantees they’re not recyclable. Whatever you decide to do with your three pack, STOP DONATING THEM.

Goldstone Books is an Oxfam charity book shop in Swansea, South Wales, that has gotten so many donated copies of E.L. James fan fic trilogy that they have moved into building. Though the photos of their office fortress were posted in September, they only started delighting the Internet this week. Since they obviously have no resale value, the shop can no longer accept this particular generous gift. Employee Phil Broadhurst said to the Mirror:

We appreciate all the donations — but less Fifty Shades and more sixties and seventies vinyl would be good... There are a lot of people obsessed by Fifty Shades of Grey, we get people bringing in new copies all the time. Enough is enough.

Here is my dark secret: I’ve read the full series. However, I read them on my phone after downloading them for free from the library. That may be more pathetic, but it was also more earth friendly. If I’d known about all these surreptitious donations horny moms were making, I would have just stood in the middle of the street and yelled, “I’m ready to sink into the depths now!” A million copies would have been flung at my face from folks trying to hide the evidence.

Advertisement

Advertisement

Images via Goldstone Books.