Look, I know you want to see Hamilton. And I know tickets are impossible to get unless you’re willing to spend thousands of your hard-earned dollars. And I know you were sort of friendly with Audra McDonald in the early 2000s after doing that one episode of SVU together. And I know you haven’t really spoken to her since she landed that gig on Private Practice because her star kept getting brighter and yours kind of fizzled out in the way most do. And I know you moved upstate and lost touch with all your friends from the city because your priorities shifted and that sometimes life just gets in the way of maintaining relationships. But! That doesn’t mean you can just text her out of the blue and ask for her help in getting you into Broadway’s hottest show! She’s not even in it!

Advertisement

So please stop asking Audra McDonald for Hamilton tickets. She can’t help you.