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Just when you think you’ve heard it all, here’s another limp, sweaty handshake of an excuse used by some dude to justify what very well might have been rape.


The victim claims that London stockbroker Daniel Green raped her after a drug and alcohol-fueled party last May at the offices of StratX, a brokerage firm. According to the Telegraph, the woman had fallen asleep in an office in order to wait for the next train in the morning home. After a brief conversation, the pair started to have consensual sex, trying first in a “spooning” position and then turning around to face each other. It was then that Green noticed that the woman was crying.

From the Telegraph:


“I looked up and I see a tear on her face. So I sat back. I said, ‘F*** you are crying?’ She replied, ‘Can you leave please, just go’.”

“Maybe my penis was hurting her. I always have difficulty when it comes to having sex with girls. I find my penis is hard to penetrate females.”

The defendant said his penis was 10 inches long and around four inches in girth, demonstrating for the jury with his hand.

Asking someone to leave with tears in your eyes during a sex act doesn’t seem like the behavior of a person confronted with a penis so large that it causes her physical pain. While I’m sure Green has convinced himself that his massive schlong has moved many a “female” to tears over the years, using that tissue-thin excuse in a court of law when one is on the stand accused of rape is rich.

The woman testified that she had crawled away from Green and was crying not because of his fucking baby arm of a dick, but because he was allegedly raping her. In testimony earlier this week, the woman told the court that she repeatedly said “no” during the incident and said to the court “I absolutely didn’t consent to sex with Daniel.”