[Los Angeles, January 9. Image via Splash.]

• Lady Gaga is now the most-followed user on Twitter.

• It's confirmed, sorta: Kat Von D and Jesse James are dating.

• Prince William MIGHT ask Kate Middleton to marry him tomorrow, since June 3 and June 4 are "mysteriously blocked out" in the Buckingham Palace calendar.

• Rihanna has been told to dress "conservatively" for her New Year's Eve gig at the the Emirates Palace in Abu Dhabi. A source reports that her team is frantic and, "Rihanna is tearing her hair out over what to do..."

• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have broken up, for real this time.

• The LAPD has arrested four women in connection with break-ins at Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge's homes.

• Someone's been arrested in the Lindsay Lohan home burglary case — and it's not Lindsay Lohan!

• Curious about the bromance between Tom Cruise and David Beckham? A new book will explain it all to you, including how Beckham decided to name his kid Cruz. [Gatecrasher]

• Time magazine will release a commemorative issue honoring Michael Jackson on Monday, featuring interviews with celebrities such as Stevie Wonder, Whitney Houston, and Tina Turner. It will be the magazine's first commemorative issue released since 9/11. [Time]

• Britney shouted, "What's up London?" at a recent gig… In Manchester. Mancunians were irritated. [Daily Mail]

• Tyra Banks will be in court this week; she's expected to testify in the trial of her alleged stalker, Brady Green.

• George Clooney is dating a semi-professional game show contestent who goes by either Katie, Kate, or Stephanie Moeser. There are videos of Moeser in action on The Price is Right and Trivial Pursuit. [TMZ]

• Last night TMZ reported that Lindsay & Sam broke up. [TMZ]

• Holy Xenu! Katie Holmes looks freakin awesome on the cover of T: The New York Times Style Magazine. She claims she is not the pawn of Tom Cruise: "There's a misperception about me that I just became this wallflower, this woman who doesn't have any control of her life. "And that's pretty wrong. From the very beginning, I've made choices in my life that have been very strong." Plus: "When I met Tom I was completely in love and, yes, I admired him growing up — he's Tom Cruise! When I met him, he was so warm and I thought, Wow! You can be a superstar and a human being. He made me feel so amazing." [People]
• Another glamorous shot of Katie, and one of Tom Cruise, from T Magazine. [Pop Sugar]
• Amy Winehouse has "escaped" from her hospital bed and went to a recording studio and a friend's house before returning to the hospital "in the early hours." Sneaky! [The Sun]
• Alex Rodriguez speaks! About his relationship with Madonna! "We're friends – that's it. I've been to two [of her] concerts, yet I've read that I went to 20. I've also read that we were buying an apartment together. That is absolutely ridiculous and not true." [People]

• "If I were writing a letter to Sarah Palin it would be a lot of whys and hows. Who are you? Do you know? Why do you hate animals? Please point out Iraq on a map… This woman hates women. She is not a feminist. She is not the woman that's going to come behind Hillary Clinton and do anything that Hillary Clinton would've been capable of … I can't imagine overturning Roe vs. Wade. She's not of this time. The woman terrifies me." — Pink. [Perez Hilton]
• Lindsay Lohan on Sarah Palin: "Is our country so divided that the Republicans best hope is a narrow minded, media obsessed homophobe? Oh, and...Hint Hint Pali Pal- Don't pose for anymore tabloid covers, you're not a celebrity, you're running for office to represent our, your, my COUNTRY!" [TMZ]
• Lindsay and Samantha Ronson: Seen in an "intense liplock" for "at least half an hour" at NYC's trendy Beatrice Inn. [Page Six]
• Lindsay punched a paparazzo because she thought he tripped her, but actually, she tripped on a metal barricade. Whoops. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Lopez completed her first-ever triathlon on Sunday in Malibu and raised $127,000 for the Children's Hospital of L.A. in the process. A very quick "recovery" from the "foot injury" she had that prevented her from judging the Project Runway fashion show on Friday. Could it be that she wanted a part in a Harvey Weinstein film, and found out she wasn't getting it, so pulled out? [MSNBC]

• Michael Phelps isn't really looking for a girlfriend. "I am 23 now and if I went out with a girl she wouldn’t see much of me until I get past 30," he explains. That's just silly! Ladies see plenty of you. When you're wearing a swimsuit. [Daily Express]
• David and Victoria Beckham's "car crash" was actually just a car that got all scratched and jacked up when it was left parked at the airport. Posh's rep says: "There was no car crash." [Perez Hilton]
• Barack Obama has asked Jennifer Hudson to sing the national anthem on Thursday at the Democratic National Convention before his address. She is "thrilled" and "excited." [People]
• Was "vote or die" Diddy asked not to come to the DNC? [MSNBC]
• Oh, dear: Justin "I'm A Mac" Long seen kissing Kirsten Dunst. [Rush & Molloy]
• More barftastic car crash terrible can't-look-away Heidi Montag video pix. Sorry. [ONTD]

• Nas wrote a song about Barack Obama and sampled Tupac. I couldn't figure out what the fuck Tupac was saying but I finally found the lyrics and apparently it's "Although it seems heaven-sent we ain't ready to have a black president." Then Nas references Calvin Coolidge to remind you, oh yeah, maybe we have gotten a little less racist since Tupac "died", which got me wondering, has hip-hop gotten less misogynist since Oochie Wally Wally? [XXL]
• Yeah and meanwhile some people who have not gotten less racist since the nineties work for the Clinton campaign, according to erstwhile Hillary supporter Rob Andrews, who now says her campaign was…well, uh, it's kind of vague, but whatever it was, it didn't work out, so I guess I should just move on to… [NJ]
• How it was a bad day out in the economy. The unemployment rate hit 5.5%, which is pretty bad when you consider how many people hate their jobs — unrelated: was anyone else unaware that the world's highest jobless rate belongs to Nauru? — and it was the biggest month-to-month rise in 22 years. Just in time for graduation! And, you know, the Dow fell 400 points and oil futures rose eleven bucks. [WSJ]

• John McCain called his wife a "cunt" sixteen years ago. The full quote, in response to Cindy's "playful" mention of his male pattern baldness, was: "At least I don't plaster on makeup like a trollop, you cunt." I have to give him bonus points for using the word "trollop" and also, calling her out on what looks to be an unhealthy relationship with Mary Kay, and by the same token I have to give Cindy bonus points for adopting a Bangladeshi child, weaning herself off painkillers and throwing all that addictive energy into applying nine coats of foundation. (And what can we say, Meghan: she comes by it honestly.) [Wonkette]

• The Eva Longoria nupti-news continues: Ryan Seacrest wept and everyone got huffy (heh) when Teri Hatcher showed up mugging for cameras in a dress tailored to look exactly like the bridesmaid dress. Um, if succeeding at undermining someone requires wearing a bridesmaid dress when you don't have to we would normally call it a Pyrric Victory but it was Eva Longoria, so, go Teri! [Gatecrasher]