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Undaunted by the monumental failure of Personhood USA's push to declare fertilized human eggs exactly the same as grown ass adults in Mississippi, conservatives in Oklahoma have pushed forward with their own Personhood Bill. But one Democratic smartass isn't having it, and she finds the whole thing so absurd that she tacked on an amendment of her own that would outlaw the spilling of semen in any location other than a woman's vagina. More »
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Scientists may have discovered a new form of male birth control, which the media is calling — horrifyingly — the "testicular zap." Of course, guys in India already have access to horrifying-sounding yet effective reversible birth control, in the form of a shot to the scrotum. We asked some dudes which they would prefer. More »
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Two female employees are suing the Bloomington-Normal Public Transportation System for $250 million because their former boss allegedly harassed them — touching them, making gross gestures, and in one woman's case, talking about her husband's sperm. More »
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This morning's GMA took a look inside the growing world of free online sperm donation. Though the FDA is currently cracking down due to lack of regulation, more and more men have shown willingness to give their sperm away at no charge via social networking sites as opposed to selling it to banks. Transactions can be set up wherever the donor and participating mother choose, with Starbucks lavatories being among the most popular (because nothing makes you want to j-off more than a bathroom with a broken lock, no paper towels, and a flooded toilet). The injections are left—thank God—to the woman and her partner. More »
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You know how a deep voice in a man is a surefire sign of his ability to impregnate you with lots of his genetically-fit babies, which is exactly what you, as a woman, are hardwired to want? Yeah, no. Turns out, dudes with deep voices actually have substandard sperm. More »
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A San Francisco man has been told by the FDA to cease and desist selling his sperm over the internet after helping 14 women become pregnant. The 36-year-old man claims he's simply providing a free service to women who want to become mothers without going through typical sperm donation process; authorities say he's a public health hazard. And no matter how you slice it, there are few things less appetizing than imagining receiving a big pack o' sperm in the mail. More »
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A new study suggests that using a WiFi-enabled laptop could lead to sperm damage. Some scientists, however, say a sperm freakout is premature. More »
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Ladies, men have finally caught on to our dastardly plot. Our days of stealing used condoms to collect their precious seed, running off to a shady fertility clinic, getting pregnant, then living large on $800 per month are numbered. A Houston man is suing his ex-girlfriend for undergoing fertility treatments without his consent and having his twins in a plot so incredible that Kanye West has declared it the greatest golddigging scheme of all time. More »
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Some men donate sperm for money, others out of a desire to help. But some do it because the idea of getting women pregnant turns them on. More »
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Interviews with sperm and egg donors reveal an interesting dichotomy: while men who give sperm think of themselves as fathers, women who donate eggs don't see themselves as moms. This may say a lot about how we view motherhood and fatherhood. More »
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Many sperm donors assume they'll be biological dads to just a few children. But with the news that some donors have fathered over 100 kids come calls for tighter regulation. More »
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Japanese scientists say they've taken a "hugely exciting" step forward in the treatment of male infertility. After implanting sperm cells made from embryonic stem cells into infertile mice, the animals were able to father healthy offspring. The researchers hope to someday create sperm from the skin cells of infertile men. More »
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An Indian scientist has invented a male birth control method that's essentially a reversible vasectomy. Now that US researchers are on the bandwagon, the project is getting some attention — but it's still pretty under the radar. More »
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The supposed antidepressant properties of semen have been getting a lot of press lately. We decided to find out if splooge will really boost your mood. More »
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You know how ladies today are always forgetting to get pregnant, because of the Pill and feminism and everything? Well, now it's time to blame guys too. Specifically, their sperm. More »
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• Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and Randy Jackson — and their late brother's estate — have an apparel line under the Jackson 5 name hitting stores in February. It naturally includes a version of the "Thriller" red leather jacket. [WWD]

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The two men charged with selling unlicensed sperm to British women have received a nine month jail term — but the sentence is suspended for two years. This means the black-market spunk merchants could potentially avoid jail entirely. More »
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This article about the magical qualities of semen is about to give many a douchey dude new fodder. Still, there are some fascinating tidbits. More »
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Here's something new to worry about: illegal sperm! Two British men are charged with selling spunk without a license, and earning over $385,000 by doing so. More »
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A think tank is criticizing British IVF clinics for providing clients with porn — apparently because it leads to "adultery of the mind." More »
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According to new research, some female bodies have very high standards when it comes to sperm. Professor Sarah Robertson explains we have "a quality-control system" that judges whether the incoming semen is acceptable - if not, Attack! [FoxNews] More »
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• Currently, U.S. researchers are unable to include an important segment of the population in their clinical trials: pregnant women. "The importance of studying subpopulations that have previously been excluded from research is undeniable," read a recent article. More »
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A Danish study found that drinking a quart or more of cola a day is linked to lower sperm counts. But don't blame Coke just yet - an unhealthy lifestyle could be the cause of the lower-quality swimmers. [Reuters] More »
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It's no secret that stoner guys have less active sperm, but scientists have recently figured out why their swimmers can't quite make it: they get prematurely "burned out" by the change in their internal pH. Bummer, man. [UPI] More »
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If you want to avoid pregnancy, you should pick a partner who is pale, stressed out, works too hard, has enemies and doesn't eat right. No wonder women love Robert Pattinson. [New Scientist; image via Sauli Särkkä] More »
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Looks like someone at NatGeo is having a little fun this morning. [National Geographic] More »
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Hives? Swollen eyes? Diarrhea? Breathing difficulties? Could be a sperm allergy. If you just feel irritated and annoyed, you're probably just allergic to the dude. [NY Daily News] More »
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• A 20-year-old woman is seeking restitution for pornographic videos made of her when she was eight years old. The abuse was committed and filmed by her uncle, and the resulting videos became "Internet child porn classics." • More »
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According to scientists, many men are infertile because they are producing "super sperm" in an evolutionary attempt to get ahead in the arms race that is fertilization. The sperm are so super that multiple swimmers are reaching the egg. [DailyMail] More »
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Who knew? Apparently, British dudes have used special "Kleenex for Men" for years! Sociological Images dug up a 1964 ad for the tissues, and a reviewer on dooyoo (jokingly) recommends them for absorbing "snot, sweat, and sperm." Sociological Images, dooyoo] More »
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• The Cambodian government announced it will not allow a "Miss Landmine" beauty pageant to occur."The landmine beauty contest would make a mockery of Cambodia's land mine victims. The government does not support this contest," said a spokesperson. • More »
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Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has eliminated all state funding for domestic violence shelters. This has come as a shock for many shelters; while they had expected a budget cut of 20%, they had no idea it would be so drastic. More »
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Over time, we've noticed that wacked-out screeds against the dangers of feminism start to sound kind of similar. Inspired by Hortense's ladymag madlibs, we've created a template so can make your own antifeminist panic piece, anytime you want! More »
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This morning, on the Yenta Hour of Today, Kathie Lee and Hoda attempted to limit their MJ discussion to one minute. Kathie Lee, of course, failed. Try to count how many times the gals say "sperm" in 60 seconds! More »
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Our favorite Slate writer, William Saletan, is a reasonable guy. He just wants to masturbate without the soul-crushing guilt associated with disobeying the will of God. As such, he's got a plan to make choking the chicken right with God. More »
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Scientists say they've created the first human sperm from stem cells, but, as several news outlets hasten to reassure us, that doesn't mean we'll soon be "producing human life in a dish." More »
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• Katie Couric to Princeton's female grads: "There is no more challenging, rewarding or important job than being a mom. I just want to say this — sometimes dreams of domestic bliss are interrupted by reality. People get divorced. People die. You need to protect yourself." How inspiring. • More »
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A study says guys who subsist on processed meat and full-fat dairy have lower sperm quality than fruit-and-veggie fiends. Does this mean we can now use Lunchables as birth control? [Reuters] More »
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Do you suspect your spouse is cheating? Are you paranoid about your teen having sex? These are just a few of the suggested uses for the Semen Detection Spy Kit. More »
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• A writer for the Times recently tried on Marilyn Monroe's old clothes and found that she was no where near a size 16. Despite her "out-of-this-world" measurements (36-23-35) Marilyn was probably a UK8. • More »
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