SoulCycle Website Goes Down; Obsessed Devotees Flip Out

Californians were jarred awake this morning by an earthquake. Gchat got a bad case of the vapors and took to its bed mid-afternoon. And in the cruelest blow of all, the SoulCycle website crapped out just as it was time for obsessives to sign up for their weekly classes.

How much more can the gods ask us to bear?

The Wire reports on the brief, harrowing period earlier today. The SoulCycle website crashed right at noon, just the hardest of hard-core devotees were clicking through to book their preferred time slot. Cue the freakout as they realized they might miss their extremely expensive regularly scheduled workouts. Their reactions were full of all the terror a herd of vampires might feel upon realizing they won’t reach their crypts by sunrise:

REMAIN CALM. HELP IS ON THE WAY. SoulCycle pushed signups back a couple of hours and, in the meantime, got the website up and running again. Not so easily restored: The cycling public’s precious trust.