Detectives Really Want Justin Bieber to Be Charged with Felony Egging

Minor Batman villain Justin Bieber allegedly savaged a neighbor's house with chicken ovulation, which was probably both a paradigm-shifting event for the neighbor's 13-year-old daughter AND a felony.

L.A. County Sheriff's detectives really, really want (according to TMZ) Biebs to be charged with felony vandalism, but for that to happen, damage from the egging would have to exceed $400. Before you scoff, though, you must realize that the eggs apparently landed on the neighbor's fancy Venetian plaster, which costs lots of money to fix. Couple that with the rumor that Sheriff's detectives want to come down hard on Biebs because he's so far flouted the law and it's about time he got his comeuppance because these kids and their loud music, and, well, felony egging might not be as ridiculous[ly appropriate] a chapter in the Justin Bieber saga as it sounds. [TMZ]

  • Shia LaBeouf may have spent as much as $25,000 for all that skywriting, which sounds like a lot until you consider that he probably paid Steven Spielberg and George Lucas all his Transformers treasure to have Indiana Jones executed in movie theaters across America. [TMZ]
  • Bobbi Kristina Brown and Nick Gordon got permission from Cissy Houston to get married, so it's not creepy at all. [TMZ]
  • "Funny to watch people floss," tweeted Ryan Phillippe, probably right after his dentist said, "Mr. Phillippe, you have approximately one thousand cavities, which I have to believe are all a direct result of your disdain for floss." [Twitter]
  • Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are selling their big fucking house for a lot of fucking money. [Us]
  • Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon cultivate their marriage by having sex. On every surface. Everywhere. Think about that the next time you hit the breakfast buffet at the Akron Holiday Inn Express. [Us]
  • James Franco has a lot of feels about Blackfish, which he reviewed in a breezy 40,000-word novella now available on Amazon. [Vice]
  • Stephen Baldwin is still alive and paying penalties on his unpaid taxes. [Salon]
  • Britney Spears might be shopping for a teacup Yorkie, which is a type of Yorkie that an infant ogre could crush in its hand. [E!] Detectives Really Want Justin Bieber to Be Charged with Felony Egging
  • An awful string of words oozed out of Patti Stanger's talking hole. [Daily Mail]
  • But take heart! Alyssa Milano adopted a really adorable dog from South Korea. [People]
  • Congrats to Jenny Curran and Warren Worthington III on their engagement! [People]
  • So I heard this interview with Leonardo DiCaprio in which he talks about hanging around Wall Street conman Jordan Belfort to prepare for The Wolf of Wall Street, and the interviewer asks what seemed like a really daring question after listening to Leo go on about how Belfort is so forthright and honest and blah, blah, blah about what a dickbag he used to be: Do you think Jordan Belfort maybe conned you? Haha, sez Leo, nonsense! And as he's laughing off the question, all I could think was, "That's totally what happened, and Leonardo DiCaprio is just now realizing that Jordan Belfort conned him but good." [NPR]

Image via Getty, Kevin Winter