Soon New Twilight Mini-Movies Will Infest Your Facebook Feed

You thought everyone had moved onto Fifty Shades and the Hunger Games? Incorrect. The folks that made the Twilight movies are back, hungry for more of that sweet, sweet vampire cash.

The New York Times reports that Lions Gate and Stephanie Meyer have announced they’re getting the band back together to produce a series of “mini-movies” that’ll run on Facebook sometime next year. “We think Facebook is a great way for us to introduce the world of ‘Twilight’ to a whole new audience while re-energizing existing fans,” said honcho Michael Burns. You’ll never escape! You WILL buy tickets to a movie about Jacob and Renesmee and smuggle Jack Daniels into the theater for a drinking game!!

The move is part of Hollywood’s endless attempts to harness this here Internet whatsit to keep fanbases stoked and, therefore, money flowing into their coffers. Almost 50 million people are still following the official Twilight Saga Facebook page, which gives you an idea of the audience hanging around the social network while bored at school/work.

The shorts will be produced on Lions Gate’s dime; the big stars will not be participating. They’re holding a contest to pick directors, and here’s the bright spot: They’ll all be women. And it’s some famous female faces picking the winners:

A group of female panelists, including the “Twilight” actress Kristen Stewart and Ms. Meyer, will select the winning shorts and mentor participants, Lions Gate said. Other panelists include the actresses Kate Winslet, Octavia Spencer and Julie Bowen; Catherine Hardwicke, who directed the first “Twilight” movie; the film producer Cathy Schulman; and Jennifer Lee, who co-directed “Frozen.”

If the Twilight franchise must continue to walk the earth, an unholy undead revenant franchise, might as well use it to narrow Hollywood’s gender gap.