Niall Leonard, E.L. James’ husband, will be writing the screenplay for the Fifty Shades of Grey sequel. If you listen closely, you can hear Dakota Johnson screaming into her Cobb salad.

There were rumors that James would write the sequel’s script herself, following the publicly-amicable but probably contentious exit of Fifty Shades of Grey director Sam Taylor-Johnson and screenwriter Kelly Marcel. Instead of James herself, however, the studio has chosen to go with a more seasoned industry veteran.

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“Niall is an outstanding writer in his own right, with multiple established credits, and we are lucky to have him join Team Fifty,” producer Michael De Luca said in a statement to The Hollywood Reporter. Yes, it is true, Niall has written several things before. He is the author of the Crusher book series, as seen on his website:

Leonard has also written for British TV shows Air Force One Is Down and Wire in the Blood, and wrote the screenplay for such smash hits as Horatio Hornblower 3. Here is a screenshot from his IMDB page:

THR also reports that Leonard worked on the script for the first Fifty Shades film, but was not credited.

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This is going to be an absolute trainwreck, and I am deeply pleased. Someone fetch me a time machine, I’d like to visit 2017!

Image via Getty