Snooki And Her Boyfriend Break Up Over Her Pussy

It’s a matter of personal preference, but I’m pretty sure no one on staff here likes the word “pussy.” But we’re going to use it in this instance, because on last night’s episode of Jersey Shore it was used repeatedly. Over and over and over.

We got the idea that this episode was supposed to be focused on the bond between Snooki and her boyfriend, Jionni, who has managed to stick around, surviving tabloid rumors, a summer on the Jersey Shore, and having an entire ocean between the pair. So why, when the two got to see each other in Italy after being apart for months, did everything turn into another installment of The Ron And Sam Domestic Dispute Theater?

No, Snooki didn’t cheat, she didn’t flirt with another guy, and it wasn’t even due to the fact that Snook told the world on camera that her boyfriend tans his penis. It was her pussy — not her cooter, her ladybusiness, not her vulva or her vagina, but her pussypussypussy — that broke the camel’s back. Her pussy, I tell you! Okay, I’m not going to use it anymore. You get the point.

At the horrible advice of Sam, Deena, and JWOWW, Snooki donned a hot pink dress for a night of clubbing that as Ron described, “looks like a swimsuit” and “doesn’t even come below her coo-ca at all.” Oh, coo-ca. That’s…better?

As you might imagine, Snooki’s night at the club involved some drunken dancing, which is a given and not usually noteworthy (using that word with a stadium’s worth of salt). But on this night, her coo-ca was completely exposed. None of the other cast members came over and helped her out, leaving Jionni to ask her to stop, because “everybody can see your pussy.” (Okay, we used it one more time, for the sake of recap accuracy.)

Fast-forward through Snooki and the roommates’ drunkenly chasing Jionni through the streets — like these women would let him just walk away? — and at the end of the night the pair broke up. Jionni was upset that she had embarrassed him, but does Snooki even understand the concept of “embarrassment” anymore? It doesn’t apply to her. Proof of this theory? Snooks flashed her naughty bits to the camera as she dived into her bed, sobbing, “It’s not even funny anymore.” We concur.