In his new book, Gay Men Don't Get Fat (a play on Mireille Guiliano's controversial French Women Don't Get Fat) Simon Doonan gives irreverent lifestyle and dieting tips for straight women from the point of view of the all-knowing homosexual male. In an interview with the New York Post, he lists some of these pointers-"gay food" involves lettuce and macaroons, while the "straightest food" is a beef burrito-with perhaps the best one being this:

Child pageants are great for staying skinny. You'll notice that the kids are all skinny and the moms are all huge because the kids are the ones tap dancing their brains out and rushing from one end of the runway to the other. The mother just sat there in a folding chair in the hotel's function room.

So fab, dahling [NY Post]