Jezebel: Shopping

13 Things on Etsy You Can Use To Kill Someone

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:30:00 EST

O, the pressures and intricacies of modern life! Sometimes you want to escape the complexities and machines and the traffic and the voices and be surrounded by soft, simple humanity. And sometimes you want to kill someone. Why not turn to Esty, the handmade (and vintage) marketplace, and search for your (delightfully affordable) weapon of choice? More »

Zappos Hacked; Shoe Addicts Seek Shelter

Cassie Murdoch — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 09:30:00 EST

Someone hacked Zappos, and now a nation bites its nails, worried that our shoe shopping habit is in danger. But, thank God, it is not. Your access to sale-priced sneakers and stylish stilettos will not be denied—but you will need to change your password if you want to keep safely procuring three pairs of the same shoe in different sizes and then returning the two pairs that don't fit. More »

George Clooney Is A Beautiful Man

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 12:55:00 EST

We rarely promote random products that we ourselves have not purchased — and when it comes to stuff pushed at us by PR folks? Almost never. But. An email landed in our inboxes from a man named Whit Hiler, and it read: More »

Tell Us Your Embarrassing Sex Toy Shopping Stories

Cassie Murdoch — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 17:40:00 EST

Who among us hasn't experienced the trepidation of your first time? You agonize about where you should go and what you'll say once you get there. Then, when you finally go through with it, you're so nervous that you're shaking and you do something goofy like get confused about which part goes in which hole. No, we're not talking losing your virginity—we're talking about the first time you shop for sex toys! More »

Women Buy More Electronics Than Men, Though it Confuses Lady Brains

Margaret Hartmann — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 23:12:00 EST

We haven't noticed many more pink electronics on the market, yet amazingly, it seems women buy more tech products than men. While in the past companies have tried to market products to women by making them purse shaped and pointing out how they can be used to look up diet tips, it turns out women are buying electronics even though they have no stereotypical lady features. More »

Grumpy Dude Believes Economy Would Be Even Worse If Women Were In Charge

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 18:00:00 EST

George Simpson is married with 2 kids, has worked in public relations for nearly 40 years, and lives in that town in Connecticut where The Ice Storm was set. And boy, is he cranky! Mr. Simpson recently found out, in a column by Jim Gilmartin, that women (especially between 50 and 70 years of age) are the world's most powerful single demographic. And that just won't do, no siree! Because women are gossipy flibbertigibbets who can't make up their minds, see. Simpson writes: More »

Malls Being Transformed Into Havens for Old and/or Lazy People

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 14:50:00 EST

Apparently scientists in Montréal no longer need to put rats in a maze to conduct experiments, because they have shopping malls. Bonnie Swaine and Eva Kehayia, researchers at the Centre de recherche interdisciplinaire en réadaptation du Montréal (CRIR), turned the Alexis Nihon Plaza shopping center into a "living laboratory." According to the Montreal Gazette, "Kehayia and Swaine note that 17 per cent of Quebecers deal with some kind of physical handicap (48 per cent of those over age 65), so public spaces need to be better designed to accommodate them." What do these accommodations entail? Well, the researchers will be testing: More »

Paris is One Of the World's Worst Places to Shop

Jenna Sauers — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 12:45:00 EST

In news that will surprise absolutely nobody who has ever tried to buy anything anywhere in Paris, a survey of shoppers found that the Champs-Elysées rates 22nd out of 30 great world shopping streets for customer service. Many people reported that sales assistants at the luxury stores that line the boulevard showed irritation at being asked to serve customers. Imagine! New York's Fifth Avenue, however, did even worse: it came 26th. The best place to shop in the world, if you've got the money? In news that will surprise absolutely nobody who's ever bought anything in Singapore, it's Orchard Road. [WWD] More »

Shoeholic, The Magazine Just For Footwear Fans, Coming Soon

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 19:10:00 EST

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Yes, friends, there is a magazine for shoe collectors. Very high heels, specifically, it seems. But both men (wearing heels) and women appear in this promo, so that is interesting. Also? The publication comes to you from the same folks who created the mag just for pole dancers. Just FYI. More »

A Banana Opener, For the World's Laziest People

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 18:40:00 EST

Seeing as how he believes the banana is an "atheist's nightmare" we don't think Kirk Cameron would approve of this banana opener. And fuck anything that makes us side with that creationist freak. More »

2012 Is The Year To Drunk-Shop For Electronics

Anna North — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 11:25:00 EST

The recession continues to bite us in the collective ass, but take heart: DealNews has a list of 12 items that will be cheaper in 2012. These include houses, rental cars, a whole bunch of consumer electronics (Kindles, iPads, HDTVs) ... and wine. So even if you can't afford a trip abroad or a gold tennis bracelet (things DealNews says will be pricier this year), you can still go drunk-shopping for e-readers. More »

Walmart Won't Accept $1 Million Bills, Or Other Illegal Tender

Margaret Hartmann — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 10:00:00 EST

A North Carolina man has been arrested for trying to pay for $476 worth of Walmart merchandise with a $1 million bill. Police were called after Michael Fuller insisted that his money was real, despite the fact that the largest bill in circulation is $100 and the government hasn't made even a $10,000 bill since 1969. He was jailed on a $17,500 bond and his attempts to pay in Simoleons and Monopoly money were unsuccessful. More »

Spanish Shoppers Show Some Skin To Score Free Clothes

Cassie Murdoch — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 13:25:00 EST

MADRID, SPAIN - JANUARY 02: Semi-nude shoppers queue for free clothes during a promotion by a Spanish clothes outlet on January 2, 2012 in Madrid, Spain. The first one hundred semi-nude shoppers were alllowed free clothes on the first day of January sales. (Photo by Denis Doyle/Getty Images) More »

Suspected Virginia Butt-Slasher Flees to Peru

Erin Gloria Ryan — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 14:20:00 EST

For a good portion of 2011, Northern Virginia was paralyzed in fear of a man who had made a habit of sneaking up behind unsuspecting shoppers in area malls and slashing their posteriors with box cutters and razors. His shenanigans continued unabated for months, until authorities identified the man as Johnny Guillen Pimentel and the slicing stopped. Now, officials fear their suspect may have fled to Peru. More »

Everyone Secretly Loves Drunken Online Shopping

Erin Gloria Ryan — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 18:00:00 EST

Over the last few years, a curious phenomenon has arisen in the world of online commerce: it seems that people tend to buy things during evening hours, right around when they're also unwinding after work with a glass or entire bottle of wine. While you may have thought it your own mildly embarrassing secret vice, getting drunk and buying dumb crap online is more common than you might think, and online retailers are taking notice. More »

Watch A Terrifying Mob Of Shoe-Crazed Women Lose Their Shit At Saks

Cassie Murdoch — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 10:55:00 EST

For many the holidays are about spending time with family and reflecting on the coming new year, but for others they're about elbowing people out of the way so they can buy more stuff. On Monday, the day when rabid bargain hunters took to stores in search of post-holiday sales, the traditionally upscale and even snooty Saks Fifth Avenue in New York City was mobbed by a large pack of women looking for deals in the store's typically pricey shoe department. The store made the mistake of running a four-hour-long sale, from 8 a.m. to noon, during which all the shoes were 60 percent off. This created an intense demand among shoe lovers in the area — after all, no footwear addict could pass up the chance to get Louboutins and Jimmy Choos at 60 percent off! Even though they still cost, uh, hundreds of dollars. More »

Grocery Stores: Not Just For Ladies Anymore!

Cassie Murdoch — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 14:00:00 EST

If you always assumed grocery stores were designed to be equally unpleasant places for both men and women to shop, you thought wrong. It turns out that from the start, stores have been subtly geared toward being more accessible and friendly for women, who were, after all, their primary customers for many years. But now all that is changing. According to the Chicago Tribune, men are increasingly taking over food shopping duties for their families, and this is revolutionizing the way stores serve their customers, even leading to the creation of the "man aisle," a ridiculous-sounding safe space for male shoppers. More »

What Terrible Gifts Will You Be Returning Today?

Cassie Murdoch — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 13:15:00 EST

Christmas is over! Now that all the joy (and pain) of spending hours on end with one's family and consuming ungodly amounts of food is wearing off, it's time to go back to thinking about the true meaning of the holiday season: stuff! More »

The Absolutely Last-Minute Drugstore Gift Guide

Jessica Coen — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 14:10:00 EST

If you need this gift guide right now, you're probably fucked. Begin your journey having already accepted this fact, and the process will be easier. You are not going to find a good present, not for anyone, not now, and especially not after midnight. And after that point, you have but one steadfast friend with open doors to help you meet your festive obligations, and that is the drugstore. If you can find a Walgreens, CVS, or Rite Aid — all of which are open on Christmas Day — you're going to be fine. And no matter how tiny the store, these chains contain gift solutions that aren't totally heinous so long as you manage expectations: At this late hour, you're not going for the gift-giving gold — you're just trying to finish the race. More »

Gifts We Wish Existed

Anna North — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 20:00:00 EST

In the course of holiday shopping, you'll inevitably come across some gifts you didn't even know existed. But what about the flipside — gifts that really should exist, but for some reason do not? Below, a list of gifts we'd really like to see — manufacturers take note! More »

Shoppers Pepper-Sprayed For Fighting Over Nikes

Anna North — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 18:45:00 EST

Another day, another pepper-spraying: early this morning, Seattle police sprayed shoppers at a local mall who were fighting for the chance to purchase Nike's reissued Air Jordans. Police officer Mike Murphy tells CBS Sports, "Around 3 [a.m.] there started to be some fighting and pushing among the customers. Around 4, it started to get pretty unruly and officers sprayed pepper spray on a few people who were fighting, and that seemed to do the trick to break them up." One man was arrested for assaulting an officer — says Murphy, "He did not get his shoes — he went to jail." More »

Dudes, Bettys, Ladies, And Men: The Gender Categories Of Online Retail

Anna North — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 17:40:00 EST

A tipster recently wrote to tell us that Forever 21 didn't divide its wares into "men's" and "women's" categories — rather, its clothes were for "men" or "girls." We decided to investigate — and to take a look at what its competitors call their male and female customers. Below, a breakdown. More »

Gifts For Booze Lovers

Jenna Sauers — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 13:40:00 EST

Whether you've got a drinker or two on your present list, or have judged yourself in need of a little holiday cheer, alcohol is a holiday gift-giving staple. It's widely available, and everyone — well, everyone except maybe alcoholics — loves getting it. Here is a selection of the alcohols I've most enjoyed in the past year, and some alcohol-related accessories that — although never as cool as receiving booze itself — are not dumb. More »

Gifts For Other People's Kids

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 12:30:00 EST

I don't have any children (that I know of, heh) and very few of my close friends have kids, but I believe that children are the future, teach them well and let them lead the way. Which means you want kids to be smart and interesting and creative and so on, and not just pawns in a corporate conglomerate chess game, where every cartoon is a secret marketing ploy for a made-in-China non-bio-degradable thingamajig that will only be entertaining for three hours on December 25th. As a kid, I spent a lot of time in museums, and I think some of the best presents for kids can be found in an institution devoted to arts or sciences. Yeah, that's right, I'm one of those people who believes in edjumacational gifts, okay? Here are some suggestions… More »

The Sad Tale Of The Christmas Without A Hot Toy

Margaret Hartmann — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 11:30:00 EST

You can put your pepper spray away because this year there's no toy deemed hot enough to trample fellow shoppers over. Heavily promoted items like Angry Birds toys and Lalaoopsy dolls haven't really caught on, and retailers like Target and Walmart are stocking less merchandise. They're also relying more on classic toys so they won't have to sell off shelves upon shelves of Furbys come January. This may be a sign of the nation's economic troubles, but on the plus side kids' expectations are low, so you can just slap a bow on that Monopoly game tucked in the closet or give your child the cardboard tube she really wants. More »

Gifts For Malcontents & Curmudgeons

Anna North — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 17:30:00 EST

It's tough to buy for the friend who has everything — but what about the friend who hates everything? Never fear: we have suggestions to help you melt your most curmudgeonly buddy's frozen, twisted heart — or at least help her revel in its twistedness. More »

Pepper-Spraying Black Friday Shopper Gets Even More Crazy, Threatens To Sue Walmart

Margaret Hartmann — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 10:30:00 EST

If you thought the tale of the California woman who pepper sprayed other Walmart shoppers during a Black Friday stampede was the most "only in America" story of the season, prepare yourself to feel a surge of patriotic pride. Now she's considering filing a lawsuit against the store. Authorities say 32-year-old Elizabeth Macias was using the pepper spray to keep people away from the Xbox games she had her eye on, but they've concluded there isn't enough evidence to indict her on felony charges. Now she claims, through her attorney, that she was protecting her teenage son and daughter, who were being punched and kicked by others, and Walmart is at fault for not providing more security. Macias says they were "traumatized," but it's unclear if they immediately left the store or held it together long enough to check out with the games. More »

Most Extreme Couponers Aren't Doing It For The Savings

Margaret Hartmann — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 09:50:00 EST

A highly-necessary study conducted by University of Arizona researchers confirms what you probably suspected if you've ever stood in line at the grocery store behind a woman buying 42 cans of cat food because she has coupons and they're on sale: Most of the people who use coupons are in it for the sport, not because they're experiencing financial problems. MSNBC reports: More »

Woman Arrested After Turning Wal-Mart Into Meth Lab

Erin Gloria Ryan — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 17:50:00 EST

A woman's attempt to turn her local Wal-Mart into a makeshift meth lab ran afoul of the law after spending six hours unsuccessfully trying to concoct crystal meth in the store. This is the best store related illicit multitasking since Horne's Department Store recruited perfume counter employees for prostitution work at One Eyed Jack's! More »

Employee Fired For Harassing Transgender Customer Accuses Macy's Of Religious Discrimination

Margaret Hartmann — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 00:25:00 EST

A week ago, a Macy's employee spotted a transgender woman going into the women's dressing room, and decided to stop her and inform her that she wasn't really a woman. The company promptly fired her, but now the employee has enlisted the help of a hatemongering conservative organization and is claiming that Macy's discriminated against her religious beliefs by denying her the right to harass whichever customer she chooses. More »

Gifts For Pop Culture Junkies

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 17:50:00 EST

Shopping for an entertainment enthusiast? Step right up! We've got presents for fangbangers, Muppet maniacs, audio addicts and Portal players. More »

Expert Confirms That Shoppers Hate Holiday Bullshit

Anna North — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 14:00:00 EST

Nancy Puccinelli of Oxford University's Saïd Business School confirms what anybody who has been to a mall in the past ten years can tell you: excessive decorations, intrusive music, and "enforced holiday cheer" are obnoxious and grating. She says, "We know from studies of consumer behavior that moderation in festive decor leads consumers to spend more and to like the retailer more." Also, More »

French Dating Site Lets You Put Dudes In Your Shopping Cart

Anna North — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 17:45:00 EST

The French dating site AdopteUnMec (Adopt A Dude) treats guys like products women can put in their shopping carts. This may be a little disturbing for dudes, but for women, it could be an appealing place to shop for sex. More »

Old People Go Looking For Love At Shanghai's IKEA

Cassie Murdoch — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 15:50:00 EST

If you think of IKEA only as a place to get lost and then end up spending way more money than you meant to, you should start thinking outside of the flat-pack cardboard box. That's what senior citizens in Shanghai are doing, and, according to the Wall Street Journal, they've managed to turn their local IKEA into a hot spot for meeting potential love interests. More »

Angry Black Friday Mob Loots Hollister Store

Cassie Murdoch — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 13:05:00 EST

It may not have involved pepper spray, but things still got plenty ugly at the Hollister store in New York City early Friday morning. The problem began when people lined up outside the store mistakenly thinking it was going to open at midnight for the chain's Black Friday sale. Only this particular store wasn't part of the national promotion and was scheduled to open at 10 a.m instead. More »

Everyone Dodged Black Friday In Favor Of Shopping Online, Salespeople Everywhere Super Bored

Lane Moore — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 12:05:00 EST

I had to run some post-Thanksgiving errands yesterday, aka Black Friday, the day we all must fear, the day on which we will all be trampled and punched in the face by everyone we come in contact with because we're all shopping for the exact same thing or something. I knew this. I just didn't care. More »

Extreme Couponer Will Bargain-Shop For 11 Hours Straight Tonight

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 11:00:00 EST

Joni Meyer-Crothers from TLC's Extreme Couponing has put together a 11-hour,13-person plot to go ballistic on J.C. Penney's, Target, Costco, and a bunch of other stores tonight. She'll start at midnight and wind things up at around 11 am tomorrow, and you know what? The stuff isn't going directly into her basement stockpile. She'll wrap everything up and donate it to needy families. More »

Worth It: Weights To Turn Your Workday Into A Workout

Anna North — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 16:40:00 EST

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our daily recommendation of random things that we've actually spent our own money on. These are the things we buy regularly or really like, things we'd actually tell our friends about. And now we're telling you. More »

Rebecca Black's 'Friday' Used To Annoy Shoppers Into Spending Money At Kohl's

Erin Gloria Ryan — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 13:25:00 EST

Worth It: You Have To Sit On Something

Jessica Coen — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 15:25:00 EST