Shakira and Rihanna Touch Each Other and Writhe in Their New VideoS

There's a lot of glamorous pop goddess going on in the video for "Can't Remember to Forget You."

Shakira gives you every kind of Shakira you could possibly ever want. There's sexy ball gown grinding on a wall Shakira. There's sexy bathing suit writhing on a bed Shakira. There's playful long white jumping up and down Shakira. Then there's rocking out with the band Shakira, a personal favorite of mine. We also get cigar smoking Shakira, which may be a first. And of course, everyone's favorite, emerging from steamy pool of water Shakira. That's all the Shakira they make, I think. Shakira just out-Shakira-ed herself. Bravo, girlfriend!

Next up is the woman who gives the least amount of fucks about anything, aka my music awards show hero, motherfucking Rihanna. She's all "Oh Shakira, are you writhing on a bed in a sexy bathing suit and heels? Here move over, lemme show you how that's done." Fanfuckingtastic. Rihanna's giving you killer Veronica Lake realness as well. You should politely thank her for it, and go fix her a nice cup of tea. She would like that.