Oh sex spreadsheets, how you make us laugh. What is it about taking sex-related data of the sad-trombone sort and sticking it into columns that is so joyous to peruse? It must be that the spreadsheet seeks to give a sense of order and control to the data tracker, but what it tracks cannot be controlled: the human libido.
First, Reddit user throwwwwaway29 posted a sex spreadsheet she'd received from her husband just as she'd left for a 10-day trip. In it, she discovered he'd been tracking her reasons for not putting out over the last month, like so:
If the thing is even real (because who knows about anything ever), the premise (still up at Deadspin) is troubling, that of a man trying to show a woman how much she rejected his advances with a tool widely used to track your company's financials: