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We've had our issues with Dan Savage. Actually, I've had my issues with Dan Savage, personally. There's certainly a place in America for a columnist who assures you that your kinkiest kinks aren't so bad and you can still be loved for them, so get some therapy and practice safe sex! And, at one point not terribly long ago, I was happy that that person was Dan Savage. But then the more I read of his columns and his "vaginas are terrifying" and his whole "women are double-standard having bitches" thing that he likes to harp on sometimes I am like, wow. And now he has on display some pretty heteronormative thoughts about bisexuality: it's great in girls and most of us do it, but it's virtually non-existent in boys. Gross. More »
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There is a long-standing stereotype that women's sexuality is more fluid than that of men — also known as the "all woman are a little bisexual" theory. The thing that annoys me about this stereotype is that it plays into the (mostly male) fantasy that there is some secret code or enough alcohol that will convince otherwise comfortably straight women (who are obviously fooling themselves) to engage in sexual activity with other women, while comfortably straight men are just, you know, straight. Besides the fact that very little sexuality is black and white — witness my gay neighbor's ostensibly "straight" dates coming by late at night, or the occasional sexual propositions I get at gay clubs, for instance — I also feel that it plays into this idea that you can "choose" your sexuality, that sexuality is a Pick-Your-Own-Adventure game and that women will be inspired or can be convinced to pick otherwise, which is really condescending. And, so, it doesn't surprise me that either Salon or the New York Times articles about Dr. Meredith Chivers' research into human arousal get it wrong. More »
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