• Oh, Ke$ha. We live in uncertain and unsteady times. So perhaps we should thank you for being reliable, constant and steadfast in your unfailing dedication to atrocity. And for informing us that your upcoming tour will be an "assault."

• News photographers claim that Russell Brand's bodyguards tried to get them killed by TIGERS.

• In an interview, Oprah Winfrey reveals that before giving Rosie O'Donnell a talk show on her OWN Network, she visited her at home to do a "crazy check" and make sure she wouldn't behave like she did on The View.

• Earlier, we learned that Mel Gibson's relationship with Oksana Grigorieva crumbled after a tree planting ceremony, but that wasn't the whole story; They were actually burying their daughter's placenta in the backyard.

[Toronto, July 15. Image via INFDaily.]

• According to TMZ, Tila Tequila is set to join the next cast of Celebrity Rehab for an unspecified addiction, though the show is having trouble attracting any other participants and may never actually air. [TMZ]

[Vancouver, March 6. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[Hollywood, October 14. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[Los Angeles, October 2. Image via WENN.]

• More on this is Midweek Madness, but Star is reporting that Justin Timberlake and Rihanna are "on." Here's the deal:

• Nene of Real Housewives Of Atlanta has written an autobiography called Never Make The Same Mistake Twice. She gets real snippy about her "friend" Kim Zolciak, saying:

• Jude Law got someone pregnant, but not Rachel McAdams' sister Kayleen — her rep (she's a makeup artist) says "She has never even met him." [Star]
• So. The mother of Jude Law's unborn spawn is:

• Hailey Glassman says her love affair with Jon Gosselin is filled with laughter, home cooked dinners and romantic games of ping pong, but, "If you had told me a few months ago, I wouldn't have believed you."

• According to this report, Samantha Ronson went out with Sopranos actress Drea De Matteo last night, got into a fight with Lindsay Lohan about it, and threw LL's clothes out into the street.

• Michelle Obama and "first tweens" Malia and Sasha skipped the health care talk President Obama gave on ABC last night and went to a Beyoncé concert instead.

• Adnan Ghalib, Britney Spears ex, is being sued because he allegedly hit a process server trying to deliver a restraining order from Brit. He's already facing three felony charges related to the incident. [TMZ]

• Since everyone apparently loves a catfight, this report claims that Lindsay Lohan calls Sam Ronson's "team" "jealous people with bad fucking energy." [E!]