Yesterday, word spread that ageless human branding mechanism Tom Cruise had been quoted comparing his job (as a punch-kicking thespian who has the most demonstrative "running really fast face" in Hollywood) to that of a soldier. In Afghanistan. Cool story, bro, sneered the Internet, as everyone was collectively grateful that Tom Cruise has a private airplane and will therefore never be any ordinary person's exasperating seat neighbor on a commercial flight. There's a twist, however, to Cruise's apparently remorseless arrogance: he was probably misquoted, as if TMZ was purposely exploiting the public's perception of Tom Cruise as an entitled dickhead. Or something.
Jezebel · Doug Barry
This is what January Jones looked like when she was nine. First things first — where is that shirt sold and how much will it…
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