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Parents of kids at LA's Miramonte Elementary School are understandably disturbed now that two teachers have been arrested for molesting kids — one for making them taste his semen. Some say the school ignored previous accusations against the teachers. In a high-profile move to restore parent trust, the school is replacing all the teachers and staff. They'll still be paid, and could come back to Miramonte at a later date. The school also emphasizes that none of the other teachers or administrators is suspected of any crime. More »
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Well, here's the most upsetting new service we've heard about in a long time: a company offers to search your wife or girlfriend's panties for semen, then DNA-test it to see if she's cheating on you. Oh, and you can also use this service on your daughter. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5873430&view=rss&microfeed=true OMFG. Barfgag.This is revolting. Disgusting. Really, this guy had better get the maximum five-year sentence. The lady was at the supermarket with her daughter. And everyone knows chicks love yogurt. More »
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A man who allegedly masturbated on three women in crowded New York subway trains in 2002 and 2005 has finally been arrested after police identified his semen. More »
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Happy Friday morning, everyone! More »
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The Dominique Strauss-Kahn rumor mill has kicked into overdrive, with some claiming that the ex-IMF head's supporters are trying to bribe his accuser not to testify. And then, of course, there's the semen issue. More »
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The supposed antidepressant properties of semen have been getting a lot of press lately. We decided to find out if splooge will really boost your mood. More »
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Chocolate and intimacy go hand in hand. It's often (incorrectly) thought to be an aphrodisiac; it's associated with Valentine's day; surveys claim that women would prefer chocolate to sex — as though they were interchangeable. In this Australian ad for Zokoko, choclocated is licked, smeared, drizzled and penetrated. Cum on, you guys! Don't you get it? Chocolate is sexy! More »
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Usually, it's women who are accused of faking it in bed, so maybe that's why we're so impressed with male actors who make their onscreen orgasms look so convincing. Here, we present a comprehensive reel of climaxes from over 50 (non-pornographic) films. More »
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A joke about semen in an editorial has plunged the American College of Surgeons into controversy and raised charges of institutionalized sexism. More »
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This article about the magical qualities of semen is about to give many a douchey dude new fodder. Still, there are some fascinating tidbits. More »
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What's worse than boob steppage in the workplace? Semen in a water bottle. In the workplace. More »
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Michael Wayne Edwards Jr. of Maryland was arrested for allegedly squirting semen from a bottle onto female shoppers, then taking cellphone photographs. Police believe he's done it repeatedly and are asking people to report any "unusual substances" found on clothing. More »
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Let's just hope she doesn't get another cake next week that says, "Sorry I got semen in your cake." More »
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Apparently Al Gore's accuser's pants are no Lewinsky dress — analysis determined that the pants were not stained with semen. That said, Gore's reputation will likely be stained by the phrase "sex poodle." More »
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Pregnant women who have more than 4.5 drinks a week may have sons with lower sperm counts, according to a new study. But just a little bit of booze appears to boost sons' potency. More »
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According to new research, some female bodies have very high standards when it comes to sperm. Professor Sarah Robertson explains we have "a quality-control system" that judges whether the incoming semen is acceptable - if not, Attack! [FoxNews] More »
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Men who eat celery have higher levels of pheromones, which makes them virtually irresistible to us lady-folk, doctors claim. As a "bonus," celery ups the amount of ejaculatory fluids - not to mention the real perk of stronger climaxes. [Asylum] More »
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Researchers have found that eating fruits and vegetables can help improve semen quality. (And maybe taste?) Men who eat lots of meat and dairy products miss out on the antioxidants in plants, which leads to lower quality sperm. [UPI] More »
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In Oregon, House Bill 2478 is on its way the governor. It will now be a sex crime to propel "a dangerous substance at another person," following an incident involving semen-throwing at a Target store. [The Oregonian] More »
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Do you suspect your spouse is cheating? Are you paranoid about your teen having sex? These are just a few of the suggested uses for the Semen Detection Spy Kit. More »
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This ad, for Imedeen skin-whitening tablets, manages to be both incredibly sexist and racist at once. Click for larger image. [Feministing & Copyranter] More »
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This clever commercial for the Olso Gay Festival, found on Feministe, shows lost sperm swimming confusedly around in someone's lower intestines. More »
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In an essay on The Huffington Post, writer Alex Leo notes that while this was a big year for women — the first serious female presidential candidate, the first predominately female state senate, the first female Top Chef — the advertising world has a lot of catching up to do. Ms. Leo names the five sexist trends in ads that just won't die: More »
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It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the "advice" column in which we attempt to solve everyone's problems with an herbal remedy. (Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, Rich helps me answer questions about vaginal "farts," World of Warcraft, abortions, and stinky semen. Got a burning question? Send it to potpsych@jezebel.com. (Or send us your phone number! We wanna talk.) More »
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Fresh on the heels of our testicle festival feast, comes news of yet another horrifying cookbook, Natural Harvest — A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes. From jizzed-upon oysters to splooge-tinged drinks — and a tip for making one's own (rather small) semen omelete — author Paul "Fotie" Pfotenhauer totally goes there. More »
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It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the "advice" column in which we attempt to solve everyone's problems with an herbal remedy. (Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, Rich helps me answer questions about boob sweat, cotton mouth, and self-service blow jobs. Got a burning question? Send it to potpsych@jezebel.com. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.) More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5096389&view=rss&microfeed=true Check Mate is a DIY semen detection kit being marketed to people living with the "nightmare of suspicion and doubt caused by the infidelity of a cheating spouse or of a sexually active teen." The kit differs from those black light detection kits we see on CSI. It actually looks more like a home insemination kit, since it comes with two turkey basters. It seems like there is tons of room for error with this kit, as it relies on the idea that the woman being tested has had unprotected sex, and the man being tested hasn't jerked off in days. Clip above. More »
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We once had an intern named David Seaman. We called him D-Splooge and shamed him publicly in the internets but we never once made him jerk off into an ice tray, mix his semen with seasonings like guava and barbecue sauce and EAT TWELVE FROZEN 'CUMSICLES' ONE AFTER ANOTHER so we could write about how much he puked. Not because it never occurred to us! But we knoowww men are a little sensitive about the taste of their own jizz. We're reminded every time we try to touch tongues with them after servicing them orally. Men! Take it from Vice magazine, representing all men so secure in their masculinity they borrow their girlfriends' skinny jeans: "Swallowing jizz = big whup." We asked like 18 of our buddies and they totally agree except for some of them. More »
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"I thought this would be much more vitriolic than it actually is," wrote ousted Jezebel intern David Seaman, to my Facebook account. "I guess I'm not mad, just a little confused. And about to go out and get hammered." Wait a second, me too! I texted the ex-intern I once dubbed D-Splooge. We agreed to meet for a drink. More »
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