>In a particularly misleading Self article, Gwyenth Paltrow allegedly dishes on her "secrets" to a fitness. This in an article where she actually says, "It's not an accident. It's not luck, it's not fairy dust, it's not good genes. It's killing myself for an hour and a half five days a week, but what I get out of it is relative to what I put into it."

While it's nice to see someone admitting that they have to do more than, say, housework or a few hours of weekly yoga, Paltrow's regimen, as revealed to Self (the cover of which she graces in Daisy Dukes), sounds daunting. A few choice quotes:

I've found what works for me. I know if I put in an hour and a half, five days a week, I'm good. If I'm on vacation and, like, "F—- it, I'm not working out," I know what to do when I get back.

I do 45 minutes of cardio five days a week, because I like to eat. I also try for 45 minutes of muscular structure work, which is toning, realigning and lengthening. If I'm prepping for something or I've been eating a lot of pie, I do two hours a day, six days a week for two weeks."

Well, we can handle the pie part.

Gwyneth Paltrow Laments 'Long Square Butt', Reveals Fitness Secrets [Fox]

Gwyneth Paltrow Reveals Her Body Secrets [Daily Mail]