Sarah Palin — America's drunkest conservative aunt — sat down with Sean Hannity (America's blowhard-iest Irish uncle) recently to talk about Russia's deployment of troops in Ukraine, a situation she warned you liberals and democrats about over four years ago, only to be met with LAUGHTER and MOCKING. (To be fair, it was probably on that same night that she got shit-faced on vodka cranberries at your cousin Timmy's wedding and fell over while dancing to Whitesnake.)
Unhappy about how President Obama is handling U.S. relations with Russia, Palin — likely having just come from "brunch" ("brunch" is what Aunt Sarah calls drinking an Orange Julius that's mostly rum) — told Hannity, "Look, the perception of Obama, of him and his potency across the world is one of such weakness. People are looking at Putin as one who wrestles bears and drills for oil. They look at our president as one who wears mom jeans and equivocates and bloviates."
AUNT SARAH, YOU GET SO MEAN WHEN YOU DRINK YOUR JUICE.
Of course, what Palin perceives as "weakness," others might read as diplomacy and reluctance to involve the United States in another cold war, but oh, well. This whole Russia problem would all just go away if — according Palin and Hannity — we opened up the Keystone Pipeline and allowed fracking. Ah, good to see that they have the Ukrainian people's best interests in mind and aren't just thinking about getting oil rich.
You know how your aunt and uncle get. Just pretend like it's Thanksgiving dinner and tune them out as they get deeper and deeper into the box wine.
(Fair warning: watching this video of Palin and Hannity discussing Russia and Ukraine will make you dumber.)