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On today's Tweet Beat, Scott Baio's wife joins Twitter (but does she still think that we're lesbian shit asses?), Ana Gasteyer seeks to get verified, Camille Grammar is reading up on neurolinguistic programming and some great ladies are supporting Planned Parenthood More »
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Recently, I learned that someone had given a paper at MIT on Scott Baio's Twitter beef with this very site. More »
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Here are a few things that the Internet loves: Fucking; Photoshop, fast food; Cats. Itself. And sexism, too! We had it all this year. Check out the most-read stories of the year and you'll see what we mean. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5715983&view=rss&microfeed=true Any readers going to DC tomorrow should know that commenter SlayBelle has Lesbian Shitass T-shirts "for anyone who wants them." UPDATE: More »
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• Richie Sambora's latest collection for his line White Trash Beautiful, includes this snake-print "zip-crotch leotard," perfect for lounging. [Vogue UK]
• Gary Coleman was planning a children's clothing line when he died, allegedly. Sounds like a project for Scott Baio! [Radaronline]

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All we know is, it contains more class in its piss than all of us together. As well as banana peppers stuffed with provolone and prosciutto. [NYM, Earlier.] More »
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Admit it: sometime, against your better judgment, you root for a celebrity. And then they release a single. Or a racial slur. Or a political endorsement. Or a comment about homeless people's style acumen. And ladies? That's a dealbreaker. More »
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Oh, and the story will be televised on BBC3's Bizarre ER next Monday. Says one Jezebel staffer: "This is terrible, but part of me wishes it had been Scott Baio." [Mirror via Tabloid Prodigy] More »
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It's been a rough week for Scott Baio: paying taxes, dealing with nasty websites, supervising his wife's homophobic Facebook updates. He just wants everyone to really understand him, and so we're ready to let Team Baio step forward. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Spencer and Perez got at it, reminiscent of when I watched two fighting rats rip one another's limbs off on the subway tracks—it was disgusting, but helped pass the time till my train came. More »
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Not really, but in the February issue of Psychology Today, Jeff Pearlman writes: "Despite official recognition in the DSM, those with hypochondriasis are often treated with the respect and seriousness of a Scott Baio film festival." Scans after the jump! More »
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Fashion can be tough, especially when you're an internet troll crawling up angry Scott Baio's butt. But fear not: For $24, Urban Outfitters' exceptionally well-timed Scott Baio retro t-shirt is perfect for "lesbian shitasses" everywhere. [UO, Earlier] More »
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• ABC is developing a daytime talk show for Tori Spelling.

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Scott Baio has had some issues of late. He's mad. Mad at liberals, mad at uninformed fans, and really mad at the Internet. Crazy mad. But a recent history of Baio's insanity reveals that his fall was all but inevitable. More »
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• A new photo of Sandra Bullock has "surfaced," and in it, she is not wearing a wedding ring.

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Scott Baio has been having some Internet troubles lately. And now his wife Renee is taking to the web to fight cunty "lesbos." How did it come to this?! More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Scott Baio tells us (in Italian) that "the broom and dustpan are in the closet." We think he's either calling us witches or imploring us to clean something. Plus, the Kardashians have written a book. More »
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Today in a very special Tweet Beat, Scott Baio hates us, thinks we're ignorant hypocrites, but will pray for us. Plus, Nicole Richie incurs the wrath of Ice-T, and Spencer Pratt claims Audrina Patridge's tits are from Tijuana. More »
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Tom Scott is a genius! He created Stupid FIght, a program in which you plug in celebrity names, and find out who has the stupider fans. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Kendra won't go on a crash diet to lose the baby weight, Jon Gosselin is defending TLC's production, and JWoww's manager is Tweeting for her. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Elizabeth Taylor addresses rumors that she will marry for the ninth time, Hailey Glassman is looking forward to celebrating 4/20, and Marlon Wayans stands up for celebrity Twitter rights. More »
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Okay, Jim Carrey was never my favorite, and I'd wager he wasn't yours either. But his Elin-blaming antics on Twitter this weekend confirmed a longtime suspicion I've had: when it comes to the Internet, some people should consider shutting up. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Jackie Collins listens to R. Kelly to get in the mood, Scott Baio directed 41 episodes of Charles in Charge and thinks you should know that, and David Spade is hoping for a Joe Dirt sequel. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, former child stars, as well as Corey Haim's ex-girlfriends and other celebs express their grief. Additionally, Elizabeth Taylor is "boiling to the point of eruption" over negative reviews of Kathy Ireland's Oscars red carpet interviews. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Courtney Love has a lot to say, and most of it is confusing, Lisa Rinna assures us that the "Sheen babies" are in good hands, and Lindsay Lohan wants to move to London. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Solange Knowles realizes that the doctor who delivered her son also delivered Prince and Paris Jackson, Peaches Geldof has a crush on Nick Zinner, and Hugh Hefner is psyched that people read Playboy for the articles. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Kelly Osbourne, Tracey Emin, Jeremy Scott and other celebs grieve over the death of Alexander McQueen, via Twitter and emoticons. Also, Spencer Pratt has an hyperbaric oxygen chamber. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Tila Tequila says she is a lesbian, but might be in love with her baby daddy, Talib Kweli reads Catcher in the Rye, and Amy Winehouse watches Glee. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Hef alerts followers of his latest house guest, Bow Wow is sick of comparisons to Malcom X, and Oprah gets puppies for her birthday. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Scott Baio is still listing reasons that he's not racist, Sarah Palin is pumped for tomorrow's pro-life march on DC, and Barbara Walters and Donald Trump are Lady Gaga fans. More »
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• Heidi Montag told Access Hollywood's Billy Bush: "I almost died after my [plastic surgery] procedure. I had too much Demerol like Michael Jackson did… my breathing was five breaths per minute, which is like almost dead." HOWEVER. Her surgeon says:

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Today in Tweet Beat, Scott Baio gets berated by followers after posting a picture of Michelle Obama making fun of her appearance (it's okay though - he has black friends!). Also, Elizabeth Banks gets mistaken for Chelsea Handler. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Ashton Kutcher, Kathy Najimy, Rose McGowan and many more express their grief on Twitter, Moby lives next door to crackheads, and Michael Lohan opened an official account on the advice of his attorney. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Scott Baio hates on Lady GaGa, Kate Major says she knows Jon Gosselin is a good person, and Lisa Rinna posts a picture sans makeup. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Kirstie Alley is still hung up on publicly losing weight, Holly Madison learns a lesson, and Kathy Najimy learns to spin fire. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Tila Tequila is pleasantly surprised that her breasts can help others, Intervention's Ken Seeley tries hitting up Paris Hilton for some new clients, and Kim Zolciak believes she's being sabotaged. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Levi Johnston contemplates how much his wiener is worth, Scott Baio brags about his pro-life bona fides, and Kirstie Alley defends Scientology. More »
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Today in Tweet Beat, Yoko Ono proposes a positive body image exercise, Kate Major is happy that Jon Gosselin is being sued, and Scott Baio announces that he is both a Republican and a friend of Glenn Beck. More »
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• Scott Baio tied the knot with longtime girlfriend Renee Sloan Saturday in L.A. The couple have a newborn daughter. Good luck, kids! [People]

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It is Unmarried & Single Americans Week, and as it happens, it is also my birthday this week, which will commemorate another year I have lived on this earth as an unmarried & single person, along with every one of my fellow Jezebels (though Anna is sort of spoken for.) I have little hope of changing this status, for as anyone who is single will tell you, singledom is a self-perpetuating state that builds upon itself, like a "cycle" of violence, or the welfare state, or addiction, or depression; in fact, all of those things are probably related. When you're single, everyone you know is single; friends who marry drop away from your circle of drinking partners — and if they don't, they'll probably regain their singledom before long — and what's more, everyone you know is so highly preferable to anyone you would actually be allowed to date, and you couldn't date anyone you know, because it would be weird, and besides, last time that happened it totally ruined your friendship for a couple of weeks. More »
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