Because apparently humans weren't doing an efficient enough job at coming up with boring, regressive jokes, scientists at the University of Edinburgh have developed a computer program that does just that. The program was designed "to find unlikely pairings of words and to make a connection between them," within the parameters of the old "I like my X like I like my Y: [FART NOISE]" routine. Strangely enough, when they ran the software, it churned out a bunch of sexist material (and nonsense). Turns out robots (I'm just CALLING IT A ROBOT, OKAY) hate their wives as much as regular shitty comedians! I guess misogyny really is built into the very essence of comedy. Huzzah.
JK, bros. I'm obviously K-ing! But the sexist joke robot does provide an illuminating statement on the role of the "un-PC" (the Telegraph's idiotic phrasing, not mine) in modern comedy. Is this the standard of jokes you want to hold yourself to? You want to be as good and as innovative as a robot? And not even a good comedy robot, but a hacky comedy robot? I'm just saying, maybe it's time to rethink the circled wagons around the sacred right to be a complete shithead to women. (The robot isn't particularly kind to men either—in that boooooring, bumbling-husband, patriarchy-hurts-men-too, hacky lady-comic kind of way.)
Via the Telegraph:
It most commonly came up with jokes comparing men or women with another object, like: “I like my women like I like my gas … natural.”
While some could have rivalled a human comedian for generating a wry smile, others worked less well.
One joke that did not work so well was: “I like my men like I like my court … superior.”
...David Matthews, a computer scientist who helped develop the computerised comedian at the University of Edinburgh's school of informatics, said when they tested the jokes on volunteers they found they laughed, although not as much as man made humour.
I guess two thing are clear here: First of all, that jokes that rely on "take my wife, please!"-style gender dynamics are about as original as a bunch of garbage pooped out by a computer, and comics of all genders who don't move away from sexist hackery and toward more innovative material will soon have their jobs outsourced to Scottish robots. And second of all, that robots are fucking terrible at comedy. Here are some more computer-generated chuckles, compiled by the Telegraph:
Engage laughter circuits:
Some of the less PC jokes generated by the PC
I like my women like I like my gas ... natural
I like my men like I like my acorns ... buried
I like my boys like I like my sectors … bad
I like my men like I like my monoxide - odourless
I like my men like I like my court … superior
And some that will not upset the PC brigade
I like my coffee like I like my war … cold
I like my relationships like I like my source … open
I like my fish like I like my text … raw
I like my business like I like my fish … small
BRB, working on my heckling robot.