Science Embarks on Noble Pursuit of Studying Boob-Jiggle

Bold new scientific studies reveal that breasts not only move around when women run, but also become sore after excessive movement, leading researchers to believe that well-fitted sports bras are important. To which women say, "No shit."

Scientists from the Research Group in Breast Health at the University of Portsmouth in England wanted to figure out whether exercise contributed to breast soreness and whether breast soreness affected the way women exercise. So they had 1,300 female runners in the London Marathon fill out anonymous questionnaires only to find out that, yeah, exercise can hurt your tits and when your tits hurt it affects your physical activity. Duh.

Still, the scientists were very thorough in their research, collecting data "about women with 56 different bra sizes, from an AA cup to an HH and chest-band sizes from 28 to 40 inches."

Earlier motion-capture research by the Portsmouth scientists established that unsupported female breasts —that is, those not contained within a bra — oscillate as much as eight inches in space when a woman runs, and not just up and down, but also side to side, forward and backward.

What kind of woman with eight inches worth of sway-able breast tissue wouldn't wear a bra while running?

The incidence of breast pain was highest among the women with the largest breasts. More than half of those wearing an F cup or larger reported frequent breast pain. But smaller-breasted women also were affected; about 25 percent of those who wore an A cup or smaller said that their breasts often were sore.

Ironically, in reporting on the study, The New York Times points out that this isn't news to anyone who actually has breasts, but that it's noteworthy because it's "the first study to formally examine and validate the issue." Because our innate understanding of our own bodies needs is totally just like parking spots at the mall.

Image via ra2studio/Shutterstock

The Problem of Breast Pain in Women Who Exercise [NYT]