Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that I suck at telling jokes. If a joke is longer than two lines, I am bound to fuck it up. Honestly, it happens all the time—I get caught up in unnecessary embellishments, I'll make it to the penultimate line and then realize that I left out a detail that is absolutely crucial to the punchline. And then it all goes downhill from there. Sorry I suck, world.

Anyway, you guys ever heard the one about the twins Juan and Amal? WELL GOOGLE IT BECAUSE LORD KNOWS I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU.