Jezebel: Santa

How Exactly Does Santa Go Down All Those Chimneys In A Single Night?

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 17:45:00 EST

We've all wondered how exactly Santa Claus manages to deliver toys to millions of children around the world in just a single night. His journey clearly defies all logic, and yet each year otherwise rational adults go to great lengths to preserve the image of Santa Claus as a chimney-diving hero for the younger folks in their lives. Now this cute new video from the Mediastation explains the scientific realities of Santa and his round-the-world mission. More »

Absolutely Charming 100-Year-Old Letter To Santa Found In Chimney

Margaret Hartmann — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 10:15:00 EST

While installing central heating in his Dublin, Ireland home, John Byrne found a letter to Santa Claus written in 1911 by two children, 10-year-old Hannah Howard and her 7-year-old brother Fred. The children placed the letter on a shelf inside their fireplace, and miraculously it remained there for decades and was only slightly burned. In the letter Hannah writes, "I want a baby doll and a waterproof with a hood and a pair of gloves and a toffee apple and a gold penny and a silver sixpence and a long toffee." Sadly, if people of the future find our letters they won't be half as lovely, since we usually asked for stuff like Skip-It and Totally Hair Barbie. More »

Santas Gone Wild

Cassie Murdoch — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 11:35:00 EST

NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 10: Revelers dressed as Santa Claus sing near Battery Park during the annual SantaCon event December 10, 2011 in New York City. SantaCon is a mass gathering of revelers dressed as Santa Claus who take to the streets in cities across the country before Christmas. (Photo by Allison Joyce/Getty Images) More »

So Many Santas, So Little Time

Cassie Murdoch — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 14:05:00 EST

BERLIN, GERMANY - NOVEMBER 26: Volunteer Santas attend their annual meeting at the Komoedie am Kurfuerstedamm theater on November 26, 2011 in Berlin, Germany. The event was organized by Studentenwerk Berlin, a student organization at the city's technical university (Technische Universitaet Berlin), that sends out between 400 and 500 students and alumni dressed as Santas and angels every year to visit company parties in December and families on Christmas Eve. The students, who must complete a Santa workshop, participate as a way to make a little money to help fund their studies. (Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images) More »

Salvation Army Santas Will Gladly Accept Your Credit Cards This Holiday Season

Whitney Jefferson — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:00:00 EST

The Times reports that for the first time ever, the Salvation Army bell-ringers that stand outside of your local mall each year will be accepting more than just loose change — they'll swipe your credit card right on the spot. As the number of people who actually carry cash on them shrinks each year, the Salvation has realized we are living in a digital world and will arm their ringers at 10 locations with Square, a device that connects to an iPhone or Android phone and processes credit cards immediately: More »

Australia Now Just Rubbing It In Our Faces

Erin Gloria Ryan — Sun, 26 Dec 2010 10:55:18 EST

Sydney, December 25: English tourist Mark Meagher, center, dives to hit a volleyball to his mates while celebrating Christmas Day at Bondi beach. Stupid jerks with their sunshine and their relaxation. (Image via AP)

How To Start A Mommyblogger Fight

Sadie Stein — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 18:20:00 EST

As soon as I saw the headline "In Our House, There's No Santa Claus" my heart sank with the knowledge of an impending conflagration. Santa is a highly charged issue! More »

Get Into The Holiday Spirit With Awkward Pictures Of Politicians And Santa

Erin Gloria Ryan — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 12:55:00 EST

Check out this great treasury of holiday Santa-political awkwardness, because nothing says "Christmas" like Nancy Reagan flirting with Mr. T. More »

Strippermobile Delivers Toys To Vegas Kids

Anna North — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 10:42:00 EST

Last year, a "strippermobile" full of exotic dancers sparked controversy in Vegas. But this year, the owners filled the vehicle with Santas who gave out gifts to kids. Says the AP, "There was no gyrating or pole dancing this time." More »

Secret Santas Handing Out Cash

Erin Gloria Ryan — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 13:59:00 EST

If you're in North Carolina and you see a big bearded dude in a red suit about to accost you, perhaps you should let him. He might be trying to hand you a hundo. More »

The Best Of The Absolute Worst Christmas Decorations

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 15:56:00 EST

Tomorrow is the first day of December, and we're already being inundated with Christmas crap! Here's a handy buyers guide. More »

Terrifying Santa Has Already Ruined Christmas

Erin Gloria Ryan — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 14:06:00 EST

LONDON, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 25: A man dressed as Santa Claus looks out from a cage during a photocall to promote the film 'Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale' at Carnaby Street. (Photo by Ian Gavan/Getty Images)

39 Crazy Christmas Ornaments To Make You Dread The Season

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 16:58:00 EDT

Summer's basically over, which means Christmas is right around the corner. That is, according to the folks at Bronner's: This catalog arrived in the mail right before the Labor Day weekend. More »

Is The JFK Yacht Pic A Fake? • Roman Polanski Thanks All The Rape Apologists

Katy Kelleher — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 17:30:00 EST

Somebody emailed TMZ to point out that the picture of John F. Kennedy sunning himself while two naked ladies leap into the water may actually be from a Playboy photo shoot. More »

The Years Of Magical Thinking: The Pscychology Of Believing In Santa

Anna North — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 19:00:00 EST

New research shows that belief in Santa can actually rise with age, and that three-year-olds believe in St. Nick just slightly less than they believe in the garbage man. But does kids' "magical thinking" have a larger purpose? More »

Santa/Baby

Anna Holmes — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:10:00 EST

[Sydney, December 6. Image via Getty]

Deck The (Chocolate Salty) Halls

Anna Holmes — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 14:10:00 EST

[Hornow, Germany; December 2. Image via Getty]

Lebanese Singer Sued For Racist Lyrics • Crowd Boos Sarah Palin At Book Signing

Katy Kelleher — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:20:00 EST

• Haifa Wehbe, a famous Lebanese pop singer, has come under fire for singing a song with racist lyrics. The song is from a children's album, and includes the line: "Where is my teddy bear and my Nubian monkey?" • More »

Girls Rule

Anna Holmes — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:10:00 EST

[Arcadia, California; November 7. Image via Getty]

Winter Wonderland

Anna Holmes — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 14:10:00 EDT

[Sydney, August 5. Image via Getty]

Santa's Been Naughty

Maria — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 11:45:00 EST

Police in England are investigating a "mass Santa brawl" that took place on Saturday between a group of men dressed as Santa and another group of men "of dark-skinned African or Asian appearance." [Independent] More »

"Used To Laugh And Call Her Names"

Maria — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 13:30:00 EST

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Great news! Researchers have decided that Santa's reindeer are probably female, since males typically shed their antlers before Christmas. Also: Because behind every great boy, there are at least a dozen badass broads. [NBC NY] More »

Santas Past & Present

Maria — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 10:40:00 EST

How did 1907 kiddies think Santa would appear in 2007? With a futuristic dildo-shaped blimp carrying Santa's haphazardly-attached toys. Meanwhile, artists — Juergen Teller, Moby — have recreated Santa for the 21st century. [BoingBoing, Guardian] More »

Laura Bush: Schoolkids & Santa Have Her Surrounded

Anna Holmes — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 16:50:00 EST

[Washington, D.C., December 15. Image via AP]

New Book Documents Kids Scared Of Santa • Women Prefer Internet To Sex

Maria — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:30:00 EST

• A new book called Scared of Santa: Scenes of Terror in Toyland documents 250 screaming children perched on the lap of mall Santas across the country. • More »

Bad Santa

Jessica G. — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:20:00 EST

"A Santa Claus was sacked after asking his visitors if they wanted to sit on his lap, despite warnings from his helper elf, it emerged today. Andrew Mondia, 32, had been hired by Selfridges as one of their troupe of Santas dishing out Christmas cheer and presents in the London store's grotto. But he claims he was sacked after only three days on Monday after a grandmother complained that he had invited her to sit on his lap…Mondia had also been warned by his helper elf several times that he should not ask clients to sit on his knee, they said." Ho Ho Ho, indeed. [The Guardian] More »

The "And You Thought Yesterday Was Bad" Edition

mcarpentier — Thu, 08 May 2008 18:30:00 EDT

After last night's fellatio-esque interview of John McCain, reporters ask Jon Stewart if he's a real journalist and if he should've tried harder to ask a real question. No, and yes. [Comedy Central, Time, Rolling Stone]

Nothing warms our hearts quite like the...

Jennifer — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:55:01 EST

Nothing warms our hearts quite like the sight of seeing Santa shilling Lucky Strike cigarettes. [Vintage Ads] More »

Christmas 2007: Drunk Stripper Santas, Shitty Sales, Deadly Tiger Rampages

Jessica — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:30:25 EST

It's not just you! The polls are in, and this Christmas was officially a disappointment. Sales were "bleak", the streets were violent, and in the U.K. a man stuffed his wife's dead body under the tree before killing himself. Uplifting! So here's a news tidbit to be thankful for: in Los Angeles, a "beefy" dude wearing a seriously modified Santa getup replete with purple G-string was booked on a DUI charge yesterday. According the the UPI, the Santa in question was 6-foot-4, 280-pound Rick Carroll, who, in addition to sporting the G-string, was clad in black leg warmers, a blond wig, and a red lace camisole. A L.A. county sheriff told the press, "He had to sober up and find his own reindeer." Zing! In slightly less amusing news, an escaped tiger named Tatiana killed one person at the San Francisco Zoo yesterday. More »

I Saw Mommy Groping Santa Claus

Jessica — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:45:00 EST

A Connecticut woman has been arrested for sexually assaulting a mall Santa. According to CBS News, Sandrama Lamy "touched [Santa] inappropriately while sitting on his lap." Not really surprising that the perp's name is "Sandrama" — doesn't that sound like a contraction of "Santa drama"?? Her Santa molesting was fated! [CBS News] More »

Fashion Week Daily, the US Weekly of the...

Jennifer — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 16:10:00 EST

Fashion Week Daily, the US Weekly of the fashion industry, has the perfect suggestion for that extra-special someone: A 1 lb. chocolate Santa with a butt plug! No, it's only a tree, but to us, it looks more naughty than nice. (Click on tag to enlarge) [Fashion Week Daily] More »

Sydney Santas have been barred from chanting...

Jessica G. — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 19:45:00 EST

Sydney Santas have been barred from chanting the customary "Ho, ho, ho" this Christmas, as the Santa recruitment firm Westaff has deemed the phrase frightening to children and possibly "derogatory towards women". The Aussie trainees have been told to replace "Ho, ho, ho," with "Ha, ha, ha." Mall Santas are up in arms about the censoring. Two potential Santas even quit the training course because they felt so oppressed. Sydney mom Maybel Lopez told the Daily Telegraph, "It's what Santa has been saying his whole life - my whole life. It is just a normal thing really for him to say 'ho, ho, ho'." Wonder what David Sedaris thinks of this? [NEWS.com.au] More »

Poor Santa Claus. Here's an, ahem, full-figured...

Jennifer — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 17:45:00 EST

Poor Santa Claus. Here's an, ahem, full-figured icon who is being told he has to lose weight as a result of his presence in the public eye! Apparently his jiggly tummy is setting a bad example for all the little kiddies who still believe in him! Due to the obesity crisis in England, retailers there have taken to setting up Santa "boot camps," showing creepy fat men in red crushed velvet suits doing jumping jacks and the like, allowing the children out shopping during the Christmas season just how important fitness is to ol' Saint Nick. Isn't it even freakier to see Santas doing obstacle courses than it is to see small children crawling into the laps of bearded men they don't know — for a photo op? [Daily Mail] More »