Are you still watching Grey's Anatomy? If so, sorry, brah — Sandra Oh is bailing after 10 seasons as lovable control freak Dr. Cristina Yang. Bailing GRACEFULLY. Ahem, Katherine Heigl. Says Oh:
"I've gone through a lot of therapy over this... I started thinking about it because I had to prepare myself. I gave myself two years to emotionally let go. At the end of last season, [show creator] Shonda [Rhimes] took me aside and said, 'What are your thoughts?' I said, 'I'm ready.'"
She wants Cristina's writeoff to be a happy ending. Not happy for us, 'cause we are that much closer to being all alone with the eponymous Meredith Grey, whose voiceovers makes me want to rip out my own butthole. SORRY NOT SORRY, SHONDA. (Love you.) [Us Weekly]
The two-headed beast known as Kimye are planning a wedding that might be "cool and big and over the top" (which he wants) or small (which she wants, because her first big one didn't end up so well) and maybe in Paris.
So I predict it will be some kind of batshit Sean Parkeresque epic where the actual Eiffel Tower is on top of the wedding cake and baby Nori is suspended above in a pod made of diamonds. [Us Weekly]
A woman opted not to fornicate with noted asswipe Dominic Monaghan and this is what he texted her.
"My movies have made over 3 billion dollars. The show that I am currently on that I created plays in 120 countries. When did I ever say I wanted to have sex with you?! You appear riddled with herpes n smell odd. I couldn't invite you to one of my three houses I'd be nervous you would steal shit. Erase this number. N stop crying over me n replying... you keep hitting me up even when I treat you like the dumb dumb you are. Take. A. Hint. And a wash."
Riley Keough and Alex Pettyfer appear to be back together after breaking off their engagement in 2011. They were holding hands in the VIP area of a screening of The Butler, which renders the rumors that she had been hooking up with Robert Pattinson invalid. (Or at least it's over now.) So blah blah, Elvis's granddaughter, whatever. [Us Weekly]
Kristen Stewart has enrolled in UCLA. I did not know there was a scowling masters program there. [Vogue UK]
- Debbie Rowe has a sick-ass three wolf moon t-shirt. [TMZ]
- Jennifer Aniston is being sued by her contractor. I was going to try to make a "he was there for her when the rain started to pour" joke but we don't need it. [TMZ]
- Cue Odd Couple music: Jack Nicholson is staying at Lorne Michaels' house while Lorne brainstorms how to re-cast Saturday Night Live. Here is my audition tape. [Page Six]
- Frank Ocean's (Romeo's) cousin Sha'Keir Duarte (Mercutio) is suing Chris Brown (Tybalt) for wounding him during that parking lot fight. [TMZ]
- Oprah apologized for the fact that the Switzerland Bag-gate became such a huge deal. [Page Six]
- Oh Christ, Tan Mom has another music video because it is apparently the Year of the Depend Undergarment. [E!]
- Jimmy Fallon and his wife Nancy Juvonen had five years of fertility issues before Winnie Rose came along. [NYDN]
- Here's a still of Cory Monteith in his final film role as a drug addict. [People]
- Whoopi Goldberg's face in this new cast photo of The View is everything. [People]
- Coco Rocha chopped her hair offyoncé. [People]
- Lady Gaga's on the cover of V, looking awkward. [People]
- Stephenie Meyer is "over" Twilight, so now Stephenie Meyer and I have something in common/can get brunch. [Gossip Cop]
- Gia Allemand, a one-time Bachelor contestant, is in critical condition following an unspecified accident. [E!]
- Want some pictures of Girls Season 3 filming? K. [Vulture]
- Justin Bieber Instagrammed himself giving money to a homeless woman. [TMZ]
- Also Beebs might be dating and/or sleeping with a hot fucking model named Ashley Moore. What is she doing?! [Ocean Up]
- Chaka Khan and five other people who are not Chaka Khan allegedly left Cliffside rehab because of Lindsay Lohan's diva behavior during her stay. [Radar Online]
- Someone broke into Famke Janssen's house and left her a copy of a children's book called The Lonely Doll (which is extraordinary in a non-breaking-in context, by the way). [Gossip Cop]
- Prince is a Twitter genius, and also might not know what "selfie" means. [Vulture]
- Drew Barrymore has an excellent reason for wanting two kids: "So they can run around life together, roll their eyes at their parents together like Rusty and Audrey Griswold from [National Lampoon’s] Vacation." [People]
- Ali Lohan does not look "drastically different" to me, but IDK. [Us Weekly]
- Bethenny Frankel is still struggling with her nasty divorce. [ABC News]
- Mischa Barton broke up with her boyfriend because his past on the rough streets of "Chino" were haunting him. [Us Weekly]
- Aaron Paul did a Reddit AMA! [EW]