Jesus, Sandra Bullock. WE GET IT. You're adorable. You bring charm and grace to everything you do. You're America's sweetheart. Now, please, for the sake of insanity, could you just throw a shoe at an assistant or something? I'm used to resenting the rich and famous, but you're making my life very difficult by being so damn likable all the time.

Ugh, now here she is sitting down with Jonathan Ross (the Jay Leno of England), being all cute and funny and reciting the lyrics to "Rapper's Delight."

Fine, Sandy. You win. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.