By this point in your life of mining the internet for weird shit, you've no doubt heard of the HAPIfork, that utensil that aims to keep you from eating your marshmallow gummy bear casserole too quickly by vibrating if you start behaving like a ravenous jackal and take bites any faster than at a stately 10-second interval. The fork looks like a sex toy-fork hybrid that was accidentally created when some careless assembly line employee at the Fork-n-Dildo factory fell asleep for a few minutes and forgot to sort a fork out of the dildo pile. Shit happens, you know? Well-meaning people make mistakes, which is why the HAPIfork exists in the first place — to make sure that dieters are at least maintaining their dignity when they shovel food into their mouths.
Jezebel · Doug Barry
This is what January Jones looked like when she was nine. First things first — where is that shirt sold and how much will it…
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