http://cache.jezebel.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png http://jezebel.com/tag/royals http://jezebel.com/tag/royals

Just when you were starting to worry that you wouldn't have enough preciously small commemorative dolls to properly celebrate the one-year anniversary of Prince William and Kate Middleton, Mattel has come through for you. They've announced they are releasing the Royal Wedding William and Catherine Doll Set, which as you can see is quite a treasure. It won't be available until the beginning of April, but you can pre-order now for the bargain price of $100. That may seem like a lot of money, but you will obviously go to whatever lengths you need to to guarantee you have these dolls—which are, of course, bedecked in miniature replicas of the wedding regalia they donned that proud day at Westminster Abbey. The privilege of putting these two on a shelf near your bed and seeing them every night before you fall asleep—and then again in your dreams—will be worth every penny.

More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5885540&view=rss&microfeed=true

Queens: they're just like us! The monarch's loyal subjects have been dying for a peek into 85-year-old Queen Elizabeth's classic Launer handbag for decades. But according to royal biographer Bedell Smith, the Queen's purse holds everyday items such as lipstick, a mirror, and a £5 note "to donate to the church collection on Sundays." (Sometimes she splurges as much as £10, if she's feeling really extravagant.) Smith says the purse also contains glasses, mint lozenges and a fountain pen, and that her ladies-in-waiting are responsible for other basics: extra gloves, needs and thread, etc. Seriously? There's not even a trashy romance novel or OK! Magazine stashed in there? More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5882265&view=rss&microfeed=true

It's time to put away your magnifying glass and stop stroking your imaginary beard because police have identified the woman whose body was found on the Queen's Sandringham Estate. Alisa Dmitrijeva has been missing since August and her body has been at the site for between one and four months. Police still don't know what killed Dmitrijeva, who immigrated from Latvia, and detectives say they're "investigating the murder." More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5874162&view=rss&microfeed=true

The case of the human remains found on Queen Elizabeth's Sandringham Estate has officially become a real-life Masterpiece Mystery. Yesterday police said the remains belong to a young woman and have been lying in the forest for one to four months. Inspectors say she was probably murdered, and may be foreign. The estate is 20,000 acres and sections are open to the public, so it's not quite the same as a crime occurring in the Queen's backyard. However, if you'd like to believe the Queen came this close to playing Miss Marple, the royal family was only yards from the body when they went on a pheasant shoot during the holidays. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5872844&view=rss&microfeed=true

Police in Anmer, England have launched an investigation after someone found human remains on New Year's Day while taking a walk. The body was spotted in the woods on Sandringham Estate, where Queen Elizabeth and her family usually spend the holidays. Thankfully, the British are experts at solving murder mysteries that take place on royal estates (or so we gather from BBC America). More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5872538&view=rss&microfeed=true

Thanks to British austerity measures, the Queen is facing a pay freeze through 2015 that would bring her income to about $48 million per year, down from a high of $125 million in 1991. Though ramen will not be appearing in the kitchen at Buckingham Palace, the cut backs will still have an effect on the royal family. There won't be money for repairs to royal palaces, Prince William will be forced to continue paying for his own servants, and there will be "no extra money from the taxpayer to pay for the court of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge." We too have felt the sting of being forced to get by without a jester and a royal cup bearer, so our hearts go out to William and Kate. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5865033&view=rss&microfeed=true

Finally, little girls can imagine that their sister is marrying into a wealthy family of meaningless figureheads with the new $49.95 Pippa Middleton fashion doll. Herobuilders also sells a Kate Middleton doll for the same price, though it's actually just a Pippa doll in a generic gown. We recommend you invest $189.95 in the deluxe Kate doll instead. The "handmade replica of her wedding dress" looks like it was stitched together out of a dinner napkin, but at least it covers up the bulky elbow joints and nipply G.I. Joe torso. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5858147&view=rss&microfeed=true

Does the world really need a book penned by Kate Middleton's sister? If it was a guide to turning one's ass into an international sensation through the (alleged) use of Spanx, we could see it, but there's already a book about butts and Pippa Middleton wasn't consulted. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5855087&view=rss&microfeed=true

Poor Kate. This week marked her very first solo engagement as a Royal when she filled in for Prince Charles at a charity event — she did wonderfully, apparently, and her gown was lovely and all that. BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT HORRIBLE GIANT SCAR? What, you've not noticed the barely visible mark, which is maybe a scar on her scalp, buried beneath her thick hair? Are you blind? How could you not see that?! It is the SKULL of the future MOTHER of the future HEIR to the THRONE. You're going to let a little hair obscure your ability what's important here? Jesus. Get it together. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5854197&view=rss&microfeed=true

Three hundred years of royal precedent has been overturned, as the 16 members of the British Commonwealth States have unanimously approved sweeping changes to the royal succession laws. Among the changes is a new rule that allows female heirs equal footing with male heirs who are in line for the British Throne. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5854246&view=rss&microfeed=true

A new book written by a former servant of the British royal family reveals that the line to the throne is fraught with secrecy, painfully rigid decorum, and sort of adorable nuttiness. We should have been tipped off to this by their taste in hats. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5853541&view=rss&microfeed=true

Prince Harry, who has been hanging out in San Diego of late, stirred up quite a fuss this week when it seemed like he might be dating a cocktail waitress he met who looks EXACTLY like Kate Middleton. (Well, exactly in that they are both white and have brown hair, but close enough.) But now his rumored "girlfriend," Jessica Donaldson is speaking out and saying that they aren't an item. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5852506&view=rss&microfeed=true

Though the Duchess Formerly Known As Kate is the first human to ever think of putting sleeves on a wedding gown (according to hysterical royal watchers) her Sarah Burton-designed gown seems to have had little effect on Bridal Fashion Week, which is currently underway in New York. Designer Gregory Nato said, "That dress silhouette already existed. Other designers copied that and had it on the runway right away, but what we noticed though, is that nobody bought it." Rather than engaging in wedding day cosplay, brides are clamoring for tea length dresses that show off their absurdly expensive shoes, and gowns that convert from a demure ensemble for the ceremony to a reception dress that's sexy enough to upset grandma. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5850754&view=rss&microfeed=true

There's a saying about marrying royalty: The woman's job is just to produce "an heir and a spare." But. If Prince William and Duchess Catherine have a daughter, she could become the Queen Of England. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5849509&view=rss&microfeed=true

The eccentric Duchess — whose full name is Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva — goes by Cayetana. She is a distant relative of Queen Elizabeth and Winston Churchill. She's worth between $800 million and $4.7 billion, depending on whom you ask. The groom is a 60-year-old civil servant named Alfonso Díez, but as you can see in the clip above, all eyes were on the bride, who wore a soft pink dress and did a little flamenco on the red carpet outside her 15th century palace in Sevilla after the ceremony. Skip ahead to the :48 second mark to see her moves. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5847616&view=rss&microfeed=true

Hold on to your fascinators, a Royal is moving to Arizona at the end of this week. After spending the last year learning to fly powerful Apache attack helicopters, Prince Harry will train with the most elite pilots in the world in a course called Exercise Crimson Eagle. Crimson Eagle, INDEED. If you're planning on packing up and heading in Harry's general direction, here's what you need to know before you surely get arrested. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5846851&view=rss&microfeed=true

We're beginning to wonder how long it could possibly take to teach someone to keep her pinky out while drinking tea. The Duchess Formerly Known As Kate Middleton is reportedly still undergoing training on how to be a royal six months after her wedding. A royal source reports: More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5842407&view=rss&microfeed=true

British glossy Grazia swore that it didn't put Kate Middleton on a Photoshop diet for its Royal Wedding cover, despite unmistakable visual evidence to the contrary. Now the magazine has been forced to explain — unsatisfactorily — in an editor's note compelled by the UK's Press Commission. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5830332&view=rss&microfeed=true

TLC's Crazy For Pippa special aired last night, and even though we knew going in that there wouldn't be any actual quotes by Pippa or the royal family, we were still left feeling as though we'd witnessed something really special. Like, say, speculation by Pippa "experts" was about what, exactly, her voice might sound like. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5829597&view=rss&microfeed=true

We laughed, and said "of course!" when we learned that Lifetime would make a movie about Wills and Kate back in March. Then we watched (and laughed at) it when it aired in April. And now, in August, we've learned that one flick is not enough: the Hallmark channel has made a movie about the very same topic. But! There are differences: Hallmark's edition is titled William And Catherine (Lifetime went with William And Kate) and it looks as though Hallmark's has 100% more '80s-era Diana. See? Totally different. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5828729&view=rss&microfeed=true

Balloon artist Thelma Levett has accomplished an impressive feat: Constructing a wedding gown for her daughter Vicky using 5,000 knotted and inflated balloons. It's also ostensibly a replica of Kate Middleton's gown, because there are lace sleeves attached. As we all know, the Duchess was the first person to ever wear sleeves on her wedding day. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5826405&view=rss&microfeed=true

Yesterday, Zara Phillips and Mike Tindall, two wealthy British people who are very important and thus worthy of consideration, were married. Princess Duchess Shinylocks Kate attended and dared wear the same coat she wore five years ago. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5826268&view=rss&microfeed=true

We're pretty sure it was the editors of Brides who bought up all those china plates and dish towels emblazoned with Kate and William's faces. In the August issue they report on the groundbreaking "new ideas" introduced by the royal wedding. Namely, sleeves on wedding gowns. We suggest you capture the magic of the Duke and Duchess' nuptials by wearing a tacky knock-off of Kate's dress and curtsying to your Great Aunt Pheobe as she looks on with disapproval. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5825099&view=rss&microfeed=true

Queen Elizabeth is releasing a book for kids which explains that being a monarch involves much more than playing with corgis and crowns all day. For instance, sometimes she allows a team of small children to carry her cloak. Does The Queen Wear Her Crown In Bed?, the first children's book put out by the royal household, follows a footman, two children, and a corgi as they explore different aspects of royal life. The profits will go to the upkeep of the art in the Royal Collection, which is already being financed by tacky royal guard keychains and rubber duckies. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5824330&view=rss&microfeed=true

So, just to recap: The marriage is rumored to be a "secret" deal just to produce an heir, Prince Albert is facing a separate paternity test, and he and Charlene spent a night in different hotels during their "honeymoon." Sounds like a fairytale. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5820776&view=rss&microfeed=true

Los Angeles, July 9: Prince William and Kate, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, arrive at the inaugural BAFTA Brits to Watch 2011 event at the Belasco Theater. Judging by the perfection with which Kate's dress and hair are blowing, they also brought specialized fan equipment. (AP Photo/Valerie Macon, pool) More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5819744&view=rss&microfeed=true

Yesterday, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge hit Calgary on their tour of Canada, where they donned cowboy hats and had a knee-slappin' good time. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5819358&view=rss&microfeed=true

Now that the Kate Middleton, the Princess — sorry, Duchess Of Cambridge — has moved into a royal residence in Kensington palace, she's begun to make some adjustments. The Brit papers do not take this lightly, claiming that she has "turned up her nose" at the mansion. They probably considered headlines like "Princess Hates Being A Royal," "Take Your Tiara And Shove It," or "Kate And Queen No Longer On Speaking Terms." You can almost sense the restraint as one pearl-clutchy paper reports: "Kate Middleton Redecorates 'Fuddy-Duddy" Kensington Palace." Mostly because she purchased candles. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5813655&view=rss&microfeed=true

In what may be the very best article the Daily Mail has ever published, Rebecca Evans drops her monocle into her cup of Earl Grey tea as she reports that there was a scuffle at the Royal Ascot — the Queen's favourite racing event, which is celebrating its 300th year. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5813027&view=rss&microfeed=true

Yesterday, Prince Harry and Prince William — sorry, the Duke Of Cambridge — played in the Sentebale Polo Cup at Coworth Park Polo Club, Ascot, Berkshire. William played for team Tusk and Prince Harry played for Sentebale. Tusk won. But. More important: The press is breathlessly reporting that Harry "removed his short-sleeved top to reveal a tighter one underneath." Shall we take a look? More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5811425&view=rss&microfeed=true

Today, President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama met with Prince William, Duke of Cambridge and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge at Buckingham Palace in London, England. What did the four of them talk about? Let's find out! More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5804982&view=rss&microfeed=true

The epic uterus/toilet seat/flying spaghetti monster hat Princess Beatrice wore to the royal wedding has been auctioned on eBay for £81,100, or $131,648. The money will be split between UNICEF and Children in Crisis. eBay didn't reveal the winner's identity, but if they're planning to wear it to the grocery store, gym, and coffee shop like we would, they shouldn't be too hard to spot. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5804517&view=rss&microfeed=true

Weddings are about the future. So it's worth contemplating what Kate and William face in the short-term and in the long-term. It must be said at the outset that these sorts of forecasts, in retrospect, make their authors seem like idiots. This rule is especially true when an American writes about a British institution. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5801259&view=rss&microfeed=true

Today we received an email from a photo agency with the subject line, "Exclusive Pictures — Pippa Topless." It's official: In no time at all, Pippa Middleton has almost fully completed the trajectory in the "new celebrity" arc. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5800505&view=rss&microfeed=true

Tomorrow marks the start of this year's Cannes Film Festival, and it's already spawned a controversy much more serious than Lindsay Lohan skipping out on court-ordered alcohol classes to party on the French Riviera. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5800514&view=rss&microfeed=true

Grace Van Cutsem, the little flower girl who frowned as Prince William and Kate Middleton kissed this morning, has already become an internet sensation. Buzzfeed created a generator which adds Grace to any photo you upload, and folks have already gotten right to work. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5797057&view=rss&microfeed=true

So, that happened. After years of dating (or scheming to get her man, depending on which sources you believe) Kate Middleton has finally married her prince. But this is no storybook, and in real life the tabloids don't let anyone live happily ever after. Here's a peek at what Kate can expect in the next few decades of public life.

More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5796947&view=rss&microfeed=true

Sure, today they're all basking in joy and love and crumpets and hats, but the British royal family has had a pretty disturbing history. Below, a sampling of their beheadings, mysterious ailments, catastrophically failed marriages, and, of course, ghosts. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5795898&view=rss&microfeed=true

What's that you say? You're sick of royal wedding coverage already? Well, perhaps this will adjust your cranky attitude. The nuptials aren't just an opportunity to talk about princesses and bridorexia, they also allow us to revisit delightful moments in history, like the time Prince Charles learned to breakdance. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5796467&view=rss&microfeed=true

T-Mobile bet that Will, Kate, and the famous wedding entrance dance video would make an instant viral hit, and the company was right. In the past two weeks the video has been watched by more than 12 million people. If you're hoping the royals will cut loose and do something fun and endearing during the wedding, this video is probably as close as you're going to get. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5796105&view=rss&microfeed=true