Today is England’s Trooping of the Colo(u)r, a centuries-old ceremony performed by British infantry regiments that also marks the Queens’ official (fake) birthday. It is precisely the sort of long, stuffy procession favored by the Royal Children, who are at their happiest when perched far, far away from the heaving, slack-jawed masses.

“Oooh, some airplanes!” says everyone else, feigning delight as a fly-past roars overhead.

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Princess Charlotte knows there’s something more interesting afoot. Maybe it was one of the five Guardsmen who fainted in the sweltering heat during the Horse Guards Parade. One soldier, whose full uniform included a bearskin, completely collapsed out of formation, rocking first to his knees before splatting onto his face.

His colleagues, of course, rushed to his aid immediately. Just kidding! The Independent reports that they dutifully “maintained position as the ceremony continued around him.” Eventually, a few soldiers got around to removing the oppressive bearskin from their fallen brother and putting him on a stretcher, a full minute and a half later. “Ha ha,” laughed Charlotte, who is known to enjoy the spectacle of human suffering.

Meanwhile, here is Queen Elizabeth II, who was actually born in April but officially celebrates her birthday during the Trooping of the Color, as has been custom for the past several hundred years. (This tradition began with George II in 1748, who, because his birthday was in November, decided to move his annual birthday parade to a time of year when it was less cold. Now you understand.) I guess this means she’s celebrated a total of 182 birthdays, which sounds like utter hell.

The Queen also really toned down her birthday look from last year, which is disappointing. Fingers crossed she’s just saving the louder stuff for the after party.

Images via AP.