Have you a man in the army? Well, there are rules, don't you know. Go around grandstanding like some two-bit drag-a-hoof and he'll treat you like one, at least that's what my mother always told me. Now, don't you go flipping your wig over it. There are only just the four rules and they're easy enough for any simpleminded girl like you or me to get in cahoots with. Heck, even if you don't have a man in the army, these are some good rules to follow. Who knows, live by them and maybe you could ditch those cornball creeps you've been sharecropping around with. People are starting to talk, you hear.

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[Via]