Republican Sues to Keep Wife & Daughters From Accessing Birth Control

A (male, Republican, natch) Missouri state representative is suing the federal government for a personal family exemption from the Obamacare birth control mandate on the grounds that it violates his religious liberty. Since we can assume that this male Republican is not worried about blocking his own access to a pharmaceutical made for and taken exclusively by women, we can conclude that this guy is basically suing to keep his wife and daughters from having the option to access free birth control. I guess I missed that day in Catechism when we learned about how the Church believes that the man’s religion gets to determine his wife and female offspring’s insurance benefits.

To be fair, State Rep. Paul Wieland isn’t alone in his lawsuit; joining him is his wife, Theresa. The pair claim that simply having the option to access copay-free birth control through Wieland’s state-provided insurance plan violates their Catholic faith, which famously views birth control as basically punching God in the face (God, in his omnipotence, has yet to use his magic to overcome birth control nor is he able to make fetuses less abortable, but give him time. Angels in Godlab are working around the clock to overcome the simple inventions of the people God created). Wieland and his wife have three daughters, all of whom would be ostensibly blocked from accessing birth control if Paul and Theresa’s dumbass lawsuit is successful. From the St. Louis Post-Dispatch,

“I see abortion-inducing drugs as intrinsically evil, and I cannot in good conscience preach one thing to my kids and then just go with the flow on our insurance,” said Rep. Wieland, who has three daughters. “This is a moral conundrum for me. Do I just cancel the coverage and put my family at risk? I don’t believe in what the government is doing.”

Do lie-riddled arguments like this give anyone else an instant stress headache? Rather than pointing out all the falsehoods and laughable moral inconsistencies in that statement, I encourage all of you to Highlights: For Kids-style Seek N’ Find them. Here’s a freebie: birth control doesn’t and never has induced abortions; it just interferes with ovulation and possibly sperm mobility. Go!

Further, here’s a neat trick that I use when I want to “exempt” myself from certain benefits my insurance plan provides: I don’t use them. I don’t have diabetes, so I don’t use insulin. I’ve used prescription anxiety medication in the past, but I didn’t like how it made me feel, so I don’t use it. I’m uncomfortable with the idea of an IUD because I know, like, four people who have gotten pregnant while using them, so I haven’t used my insurance benefits to get one. I don’t have a dick, so I don’t use Viagra.

I don’t do things all the time. I’m not doing literally dozens of things right now.

Moreover, it always raises my hackles when allegedly religious people play pick and choose with the tenets of their faith, dishing up a heaping plate of sexual moralizing but skipping the entire peace/anti-poverty/compassion hot bar like a lumpy tub of gravy. Catholicism isn’t Old Country Buffet, folks. It’s prix fixe, and the chef is super cranky about substitutions. And if the Wielands are So Very Catholic that it’s an egregious moral violation for them to have the option to use birth control, then we can expect them to sue the federal government for exemption from paying taxes that support wars that the Church condemns as well, right? We can expect to see the Wielands selling their possessions and giving them to the poor, like that Jesus dude did, right? And it should completely go without saying that the Wielands should support any and all social safety net programs that provide for the less fortunate, right?