Reporter Kicked Out of Utah Courtroom For Her Slutty Bare Shoulders

Summer is a dangerous time. Murder spikes in America's cities, treacherous heat waves threaten the health of the elderly and underserved, and, most menacingly of all, women in sleeveless tops attempt, like slatterns, to enter Utah courtrooms as though their bare arms don't inspire violent lustful fantasies in all who witness them, thus threatening to undermine the very foundation upon which society was built.

Morgan Briesmaster, a newly-hired justice reporter with the Ogden (Utah) Standard-Examiner, made the morality-threatening decision to wear a sleeveless top to a trial she was covering. The high necked sin-machine, with its mustard, grey, and black abstract pattern, caught the ire of a security guard, who told her that she wasn't allowed in the courtroom in that whore getup. The executive editor of the Standard-Examiner explains,

Morgan had to wait in the lobby while [reporter ]Ben [Lockhart] covered a court session because they had driven together in Ben's car. During a break, they rushed back to the office to look for something to cover Morgan's offending shoulders.

All they could find was Ben's heavy Standard-Examiner winter coat. So Morgan put that on and they returned to the courthouse.

Here's what Morgan said happened next:

"Upon walking inside, we were once again greeted by security. Only this time they said, 'It's pretty warm outside to be wearing a jacket.' To which I said, 'It sure is.' I sat in the courtroom for two hours with Lockhart's jacket on; not once was it removed."

Kudos to that smart security guard for staunchly standing up for what's right in the face of overwhelming sin and threatening, loose female morality.

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Between this and the now-infamous recent photoshopping incident involving a high school yearbook, Utah should consider changing its state motto from "Industry" to "Utah: You're A Whore. Yes, You."