Report: Microsoft Will Soon Unleash a 'Selfie Phone'

The end times are upon us: Microsoft will soon release a phone designed to take perfect selfies. Talk to your teens about proper selfie-related decision-making now, before it's too late.

That's according to the Verge. The tech site is reporting that during a recent meeting, the company's gadgets boss showed off something he described as a "selfie phone." Which would seem to confirm the Verge's April report that Microsoft would release a phone complete with a higher-resolution, forward-facing camera. IT'S ALIVE!!!! My god, what have you madmen done????

But almost any phone, at this point, can snap a selfie. Sure, few of them produce National Geographic-worthy photographs, but that's not really the point of a selfie. The point of a selfie is to show off that you stood within ten feet of a grinning Queen Elizabeth. A better marketing strategy would be to hand out universally flattering free sunglasses with the purchase of every Microsoft smartphone.

Photo via Getty.