• Orlando Bloom and Charlize Theron are the new faces of Uniqlo. Bloom is practically as adept in front of the camera as his wife, while Theron drives an old Citroen and looks attractively wistful in her video. [Nicola Formichetti]

• Bono and Ali Hewson star in the newest of Louis Vuitton's "core values" ads. The couple, who were shot in South Africa, wear clothing by Edun, Hewson's sustainable fashion line. LVMH owns 49% of the brand. [WWD]

• Apparently, the last thing Lindsay Lohan did before she went to jail was wrangle a commitment out of Blackbook to publish her ramblings about fashion, personal style, and that feeling you get when you're cutting up a Gucci dress. Herewith:

• Gwyneth Paltrow made the August cover of Vogue. At least this time, they got her head screwed on right. The cover disproves the rumor that Paltrow would be the September covergirl, leaving that slot potentially open for Halle Berry. [JustJared]

• Jennifer Aniston probably looks forlorn in her fragrance ad because she doesn't have a husband. She calls Lolavie a "nonperfume perfume" and says making it, "I felt like a little chemist." But all we hear is: Babies. Babies. Babies. [WWD]

• Claire Danes and her spooky, enhanced spiderleg eyelashes will soon be staring down at you from ads for Latisse, the eyelash-growing goop that has this totally minor side effect where sometimes it permanently changes a user's eye color. [AOL]

• Marc Jacobs is suing Christian Audigier for trademark and trade dress infringements. The company says Ed Hardy's Extra Large Quilted Jana Tote Bag, right, is too similar to its own Marc by Marc Jacobs Pretty Nylon Tote. [IPTrademarkAttorney.com]

• Why mess with a good thing? Longtime Calvin Klein Jeans face Eva Mendes is back, again with model Jamie Dornan, for spring. And Calvin Klein Collection has again booked 15-year-old Polish model Monika Jagaciak for its spring ads. [WWD]

• Heidi Klum is not Superwoman, okay? She's not walking in the Victoria's Secret runway show a mere month after giving birth to her fourth child. She's just going to host it. Sheesh. Some people have such unrealistic expectations. [E!]

• Victoria Beckham is out at Armani, and Megan Fox is in. The actress has just been photographed by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott for next January's Emporio Armani underwear and Armani Jeans campaigns. [WWD]

• Move over, David Beckham: Cristiano Ronaldo is posing in the spring Armani underwear campaign. [AP]
• Beckham, who says he decided not to renew his Armani contract, is said to be looking to launch an underwear line of his own. [WWD]

• Gwyneth Paltrow has tired of the cosmetics contract gravy train; no longer shall the actress concentrate on embodying the qualities of the Estée Lauder brand. Instead, she'll be the new, white Oprah! [Daily Mail]

• Sienna Miller is going to be the face of a new Hugo Boss fragrance. When was the last time you remember Sienna Miller actually acting? [WWD]

• In an apparent attempt to rob the Costume Institute of gravitas, Sarah Jessica Parker will be doing the audio commentary for the Met's latest exhibit. The SATC tour bus frantically adds a stop. [ElleUK]
• Says the curator, “Walking through the galleries listening to Sarah Jessica Parker’s narration will bring a sense of discovery and delight to the experience.” [WWD]
• Prince Charles is apparently inspiring British menswear! [FT]
• Having watched Stylista, we're sure Christy Turlington is eminently qualified to be a Marie Claire editor. [Fashionista]

• Okay, it's slightly less random than it seems: Dempsey's wife, Jillian, has been Avon’s global creative color director since July 2006. Not that this really excuses it. Or why WWD refers to "Unscripted", ominously, as the actor's "first scent." And about that name: does he really want to take credit for ad-libbing the Grey's dialogue? [WWD]
• Meanwhile, in other fragrance news, Josh Hartnett is fronting "Emporio Armani: Diamonds for Men," [ET]
• ...while Eva Mendes is the, um, face of both Calvin Klein's new Secret Obsession perfume and its "Seductive Comfort" underwear line. Quoth the loyal pitchwoman, ""I wear [Calvin Klein] G-strings all of the time on the red carpet and when shooting for a film because you don't see the [panty] lines." [WWD]
• Christian Siriano: "I am honored to be a part of this amazing group of talent!” Siriano said. “It is a dream to work with legends such as [director] Charles Shyer, Uma Thurman and [costume designer] Milena Canonero on a wonderful story filled with creative inspirations." The project? Eloise in Paris. [E!]

I was actually pretty surprised I won. I wanted it so badly, but I needed it more than I wanted it. I'm just getting started....I'm not looking to make hundreds of thousands of dollars. I want to brand myself as well, but I want my clothes to be high fashion, avant-garde. It's easier to take inspiration from something that's creative than to build on something that's not. I don't want to do QVC.

• Please, baby Jesus, all we want for Christmas is for the rumors that Victoria Beckham will be the guest judge on the season finale of Project Runway to be true! [Rush & Molloy]