[Pasadena, November 13. Image via x17.]

[London, November 12. Image via INFDaily.]

[New York, November 13. Image via Splash.]

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues: "Banning douchebags from nightclubs is like banning pandas from bamboo forests - You're forcing them out of their natural environment. I suggest banning them from government, the media, and your pants instead." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to CockBibs Out Of Business?:

"O Cockbib my Cockbib! our fearful slurp is done,
The boner has weathered every rack, the dry prize we sought is won,
The hole is near, the non-spit balls I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the member grim and daring;
But O hard! hard! hard!
O the frayed edges,
Where on the floor my Cockbib lies,
Fallen cold and dead." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Discrimination Against Douchebags Continues: "First they came for the Ed Hardy tees, and I did not speak out-because I eschew graphic prints;
Then they came for the fake tanners, and I did not speak out-because I was not permanently orange;
Then they came for the popped collars, and I did not speak out-because I was rockin a hoodie;
Then they came for the patent leather shoes, and I did not speak out-because I like boat shoes better anyway;
Then they came for me-and there was no one left to speak out for me."

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

Meetups? Use the meetup tag page!

[Image via Oh! My God! I Miss You]

As always, the ads change, but the message remains the same: If you're a woman, you're never safe: You're a potential victim; you shouldn't trust anyone, and if you act now, a prince will save you from your tower hunky security guys - or policemen - will rescue you from any scary situation.

Sarah Haskins in Target Women: Broadview Security [Current]
Target Women: Broadview Security [HuffPo]

Earlier: We Hate It When That Happens
Security Systems And The Culture Of Fear
Brinks: Home Security For Modern Day Damsels In Distress

[Images by Dave Parsons/Denver Zoo via Zooborns.]

Meet three month old Kai from the Denver Zoo. He's a baby hyena!

Setoodeh argues that between Perez Hilton, Adam Lambert, Kurt on Glee, Marc on Ugly Betty and "the dozens of squealing contestants" on Projet Runway, it seems that one stereotype — "fey" — is the only kind of homosexuality represented. Back when Will & Grace, The L Word, and Queer Eye were on, there was a more multifaceted image of what it means to be gay. He adds:

Lesbians face a different problem. They are invariably played by gorgeous, curvy women straight out of a straight man's fantasy-Olivia Wilde on House, Sara Ramirez on Grey's Anatomy, Evan Rachel Wood on True Blood-and they're usually bisexual. How convenient.

Should we even be worried about fictional characters? Actually, yes: According to Setoodeh, "A survey by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation found that of the people who say their feelings toward gays and lesbians had become more favorable in the past five years, about one third credited that in part to characters they saw on TV."

While it's true that there have been serious setbacks — Maine and California reversing existing laws legalizing gay marriage — is toning it down the answer? Setoodeh says"maybe": "It's not that gay men and women should pretend to be straight, or file down all their fabulously spiky edges," he writes. "The key is balance."

What I don't like about this argument is that it makes being intolerant of gay people a problem for gay people. When really, if you're intolerant of gays, you're the one with the problem — and it's everyone's problem.

Kings Of Queens [Newsweek]

[Los Angeles, November 12. Image via WENN.]

[Paris, November 12. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[Los Angeles, November 12. Image via INFDaily.]

Those of us who are — or used to be — fans feel like we are being tortured as producers drag this shit out as long as possible. All of this happened so long ago, the fashion show pictures went up online in February, and it feels like this whole thing has taken FOREVER. Since there were three finalists instead of four, they could have condensed the finale into ONE show, but no, they are forcing us (ME) to watch two sloooow-ass episodes of this crap. Gah.

Rant over.

So, Tim Gunn went to visit each designer as she worked on her collection. Carol Hannah — living on Long Island — was first; she'd been inspired by the architecture of Duke University. Tim's "Can I be blunt?" was much-needed.

Tim saying, "I love a kitchen" made me realize that the reason I'm obsessed with him is because Snagglepuss was my favorite cartoon when I was a kid. Alright already. Heavens to Mergatroid. Exit. Stage left.

Tim Gunn in an apron!

Tim visited Irina in Manhattan next, and her floofy, snippy dog Princess basically snubbed him. How dare you snub Tim Gunn?!?! Something is not right in this house.

When I saw this, even though I was watching TV by myself, I said out loud: "Are you kidding me? Project Runway is NOT ABOUT screenprinted T-shirts!" I wrote in the notes I was keeping: "WTF."

Do you think the fact that her parents gave their little princess "free rein" is maybe why Irina is so bitchy? Or do you think it's because her mother tells her she "has" to win it and she has "no choice."

Tim visited Althea in Ohio next, and we learned a lesson: People in sci-fi movies wear handknit sweaters.

Also, when Tim critiqued Althea's Edwardian wild west coat, Althea couldn't stop saying, "Yeah. Yeah." Even as Tim was saying, "This can't walk down that Bryant Park runway."

The only mildly dramatic moment was when Irina was informed that she could not use the Coney Island images since she did not create them. Duh. Also: Go away.

My favorite part about Nina and Michael visiting the designers was Carol Hannah saying, "I did not expect them to be here." Of course not! They have been missing all season. They don't even really recognize you guys.

My second favorite part about the Nina/MK visit was Irina initially saying, "Advice is always great." And then later, deciding to ignore Nina's extremely specific advice just for Irina.

The "surprise" was a surprise to absolutely NO ONE. Of course the designers had to make another look — it happens every season.

It was also not a surprise to see these kids, because former contestants always return. It was a surprise that Althea picked Logan, stealing sick-to-her-stomach Carol Hannah's man right from under her nose.

So even though Lifetime is, for some reason, making us wait another week to see the runway shows, the pictures have been up on line for months. if you're interested, you can see all the final collections here. Otherwise? See you next week for more of this bullshit, and we can finally say goodbye to the worst season ever.

Project Runway 6.13 Finale Pt. I + Final Collections [ONTD]

• Could Michael Lohan go to jail for the phone calls he's been leaking?

Apparently Dina Lohan has had a protective order since 2005 — and it bans Michael Lohan from communicating with Dina by email or phone through 2011. One of the calls is supposedly from 2008, meaning Michael definitely violated the order. [TMZ]

• A "source" on Nicole Kidman's face at the Country Music Awards: "She looked freakish; She just had her lips done, and now she looks like Meg Ryan." [Page Six]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are dating! Director Catherine Hardwicke says so! But she says: "It didn't happen on the first movie. Nothing crossed the line while on the first film," since KStew was 18. Now that she's 19, it's on! TWILIGHT IS REAL ZOMG SPARKLEVAMP 4EVA BITE ME. [Us]
• Because he is awesome, Johnny Depp has offered to take care of Nicolas Cage's debts. Apparently Johnny was a struggling musician when he met Nic in the '80s, and Nic sent Johnny to his agent, who cast Johnny in Nightmare On Elm Street. [Daily Express]
• Levi Johnston had his Playgirl shoot yesterday, which involved a hockey stick and, naturally, nudity. Levi's manager Tank Jones says: "The shoot was fantastic! People are going to see more of Levi than they thought." Grrrreat. There's another shoot today; may we suggest a moose-skin rug? Or an igloo? [Us]
• Levi Johnston says he sees his upcoming memoir becoming a movie. "I would play myself," he says, naturally. [Gatecrasher]
• As previously mentioned, Chris Brown went to a Footaction store on Wednesday, and was heckled. A woman shouted, "I hope someone beats the fucking shit out of you!" Today Chris will be on Wendy Williams saying he's been "perceived wrong" and I'm definitely remorseful, and it's not something that I take lightly or think that it's, like, under the rug." [Page Six]
• Before the Country Music Awards, Wynonna Judd said Taylor Swift's nomination for Entertainer Of The Year was "too much too soon… I want kids to earn it." But now she says: "My intent was not to take anything from her talent and contributions to the country music industry… Taylor is a beautiful, hard working young woman that deserves the success she has had and I support her as an artist and as a woman in the business." Sure, sure. [Us Magazine]
• Lily Allen has hurt her foot after falling while carrying a suitcase down a flight of stairs. [The Sun]
• DVR alert: Kathy Griffin will be on Law & Order SVU. [TV Guide]
• Balloon Dad Richard Heene turned himself in yesterday and was released on a $5000 bond. [ET]
• Richard Heene will plead guilty to felony charges, his lawyer claims. Mayumi Heene will plead guilty to false reporting to authorities — a misdemeanor. Is there a law against making everyone worry? [NY Post]
• Amy Winehouse is working with a Miami-based producer on her third record, but her visa issues keep her from traveling. [The Sun]
• If you would like to see a mug shot of Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, click the link. He's a former model who took a photograph he found in Cindy's nanny's room, and the pic shows Cindy's daughter bound and gagged for a "prank." [TMZ]
• Nadya Suleman would like for you to know that she is a competent mother. [Us]
• Some guy is auctioning off Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley's marriage certificate from when they tied the knot in the Dominican Republic in 1994. The names Jackson + Presley = ca$h. [Perez]
• 20-year-old Daniel Radcliffe smoked pot and a party and it is "news." [Mirror]
• Geena Davis has gained weight and it is "news." [NY Daily News]
• Whoa — Emmy Rossum met Adam Duritz via Twitter? [People]
• BREAKING: Vivica A. Fox and 50 Cent are no longer pissed at each other. [Page Six]
• Rumors abounded but now it's official: Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane are expecting their first child. [Gatecrasher]
• In this video, David Beckham talks about playing with the LA Galaxy today, which means missing an England vs. Brazil game. [Guardian]
• Lil' Kim is being sued for $20,000 by British club promoters who claim she accepted money but then did not appear at an event, saying she had a nosebleed. No, really. [NY Post]
• Aerosmith's management reportedly asked Steven Tyler to perform in a wheelchair. "I just wouldn't do it," Tyler told Rolling Stone. Not even if you were contractually obligated to do the gig and hurt yourself acting crazy on stage? Hmm. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Tori Amos' fantasy band would have Janis Joplin on vocals, Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, Bootsy Collins on bass and Zeppelin's John Bonham on drums. [Independent]
• In "10 Questions For Tony Hawk," the skateboarder says: "I don't want to name names. I'm just saying many Olympic sports require less physical effort and less talent than skateboarding." [Time]
• Chris Mann wrote the Three's Company tell-all book Come and Knock on Our Door, and served as consulting producer on NBC's behind-the-scenes movie about Company. On his blog, he writes that before John Ritter died, he was asked about Suzanne Somers' supposed breast cancer, and Ritter said: "We don't know if Suzanne has cancer or not, because she lies." [Retroality.tv]
• Jon & Kate is being replaced by Cake Boss, a show that seems super scripted but still pretty funny. And unlike those weird "challenge" cake shows, the cakes actually look edible and delicious. [NY Post]
• Zsa Zsa Gabor has tax problems. Will she have to move to the country and live on a farm with a pig named Arnold? Oh wait. That was Eva. Anyway, Bernard Madoff is to blame for this. [TMZ]
• Saturday Night Live Christmas 2009 airs December 19, and will feature the best holiday sketches from the show's 35-year history. [NY Post]
• TMZ lifted images from Radar Online. [Page Six]
• The Coen brothers are remaking True Grit, with Josh Brolin instead of John Wayne. [NY Daily News]
• "Look, I really am the last British actor who's not in any of the Harry Potter films. I was looking for something I could do that would make me cool in the eyes of my daughter." — Michael Sheen, of Frost/Nixon and, more importantly, New Moon. He also says: "I had to say to my daughter, 'I heard someone talking about this character Aro in these books. Do you know anything about that?' And she said, 'Yes, he's the leader of the Volturi and he reads people's minds. Are you playing him?' Of course I said, 'no, no, no'. When it was all worked out, she cried. Then she hit me." [Independent]
• It feels weird to do interviews because I don't understand why anyone wants to talk to me. There were all these other guys in high school that were bigger, funnier, and more handsome than I was, so why do you care about what I have to say? You should ask them." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "I'm not aware of any fans. I do nothing to live in secrecy, but I really don't get recognized anywhere. Though I was walking my dog recently when someone yelled, 'Hey, Jason!' They said it so sweetly that I turned around and said, 'Hey!' Then they said, 'Fuck you, you asshole!' and drove away." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "I had friends growing up, but I struggled to feel like I really fit in. If I was invited to a party, I would just end up sitting on a couch or standing in a corner by myself. But it wasn't like I was getting beat up or anything. I wish I had gotten beaten up, because at least that would've justified why I felt so homesick all the time, even though I was home." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "Susan Boyle is a lovely gracious woman, and I took advantage of that by poking fun at her." — Sharon Osboune, who, a week ago, said SuBo looked like she'd been hit by a "fucking ugly stick." [NY Post]
• We were disappointed, but we understand. He's only 1. But we were in Alaska and have plenty of footage of Trig." — Barbara Walters wanted to have Sarah Palin's grandson Trig in the studio, but he has a cold and couldn't make it. [Page Six]
• "It's disgusting that people would say those things. My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady. There's gonna be a time when I'm way curvier, and that'll be sexy, too." — Ashlee Simpson is tired of people calling Jessica Simpson fat. Ashlee also says her husband loves her body:"Pete isn't worried about stretch marks," she says. "He always makes me feel good." [Gatecrasher]
• "I have half-a-dozen close friends and Mariah is among the dearest. I flatter myself that the relationship is reciprocal: Mariah and I share a strong, sisterly friendship. She signs off all her letters to me with the affectionate endearment: 'Your sis, M.' Though she is stupendously rich and I am relatively poor, it is a friendship of equals. She visits me in my small home; I am a frequent guest at her various mansions and holiday villas all over the world." — from a piece written by a former MTV host who stayed friends with Mariah Carey after meeting her through work. [Daily Mail]
• "There are so many young girls wearing too much makeup, too much hairspray — I find that very dated." — Victoria Beckham. [Gatecrasher via Harper's Bazaar UK]

[Rome, November 12. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[Brentwood, November 11. Image via x17.]