As the blogger, Gwen, points out:

The book is full of images in which the features stereotypically associated with Northern and Western Europeans, or the mythical Aryan race, are associated with sincerity, honestly, a work ethic, and every other positive character trait, whereas large and especially hooked noses and small, hooded, or almond-shaped eyes were indications of negative traits.

What's interesting is that many of these "deceitful" and "unreliable" characteristics are the same ones used to illustrate Disney villains. While Jasmine and Aladdin had large eyes and small noses, look at their enemy, Jafar:


Slanted eyes and a twisted, hooked nose. That's how we "know" he is bad. That's what evil "looks" like.

Snow White had a button sniffer; the evil witch had a large, hooked, decidedly non-Caucasian nose :

The book also speaks of "deceitful" chins:





Much like Cruella de Vil:





Additionally, Ben Franklin types — and Native Americans — are deemed "vicious," because they have broad heads.

Reminiscent of Ursula the sea witch:

While this book is outdated, the idea that you can judge a person by his appearance persists; we often hear people say a woman has "intelligent eyes" or a guy looks like "he couldn't hurt a fly." Even worse are terms like "baby-faced killer," as though one has anything to do with the other.

Helpful Guide to Human Character [Sociological Images]

[Tallinn Zoo, Estonia. Image by Eesti Ekspress, Vallo Kruuser via Zooborns.]

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to: The Light Stripes: "They look like they're in a really fabulous prison: 1: Buffy, dahling, would you pass the toilet hooch? You know how I adore a bit of homemade vino to start the day.
2: Why of course Bunny, I was just about to dip my nib into the hooch as well. How about later we go frolic round the yard and find ourselves a darling little bitch?
1: What a grand idea! Only this time please can we claim one who makes a half decent mojito?
2: Do you even have to ask? I will grab my shank and my boating shoes.
(fin)" We say: Love, love, love it when a Snap J is done properly. Applause! • Best Comment of The Day, in response to Wedded Bliss: "Coming soon: The Channel Utilizing Nasty Tired Stereotypes (C.U.N.T.S.)! C.U.N.T.S. will bring you all the latest woman-hating staples, including...
Playboy Bunnies Beat Each Other Up Then Vomit (Tuesdays, 8pm)
Dykes Gross You Out (Wednesdays, 9pm)
Make Me a Pie, Bitch (Fridays, 9pm)
God Wants You to Have Long Hair (Mondays, 8pm)
Yogurt!!!!!!!! (Mondays, 9pm)
Diet or Die Alone (Thursdays, 10pm)
and
OMG You Better Get Pregnant (Every Day, 12pm, 1pm, 2pm, 3pm, 4pm, 5pm, 6pm)" We say: Don't forget Hot Girls In Swimsuits Make Out With Burgers, at midnight.

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

[Image via Oh! My God! I Miss You]

According to the New York Times:

Parker, 23, is determined to buck the conventional wisdom that women can fulfill their potential as professional athletes and as parents as long as they tackle their lives like a to-do list, crossing one item off before starting on the next.

"I'm always the type of person that wants to prove people wrong," she said. "I just want to come back and show that you can be even stronger than before."

Parker's steely resolve and determination are admirable, and she has a husband, a nanny and family members to help her out. Additionally, her coworkers can relate: Five other team members on the Sparks are mothers — including Lisa Leslie — and Carla Christofferson, the Sparks' 41-year-old co-owner, is pregnant.

It's frustrating that Parker has to say she wants to come back "even stronger than before." She's a talented athlete, but clearly feels like she has something to prove. While it's true that Parker hasn't played a competitive game in 10 months, it's not like she suffered a debilitating injury. But her words are an answer to widely-held notions of how motherhood changes a woman — how people expect different, or possibly less of you, especially when it comes to your job. And, even more important: It speaks to the expectations this new mother has placed on herself.

Diapers and Jump Shots: Player Has Her Hands Full [NY Times]

Earlier: Juggling Pregnancy & Career Without Dropping The Ball
Are Women Having Babies Earlier Because They Take Their Careers For Granted?

Ruth La Ferla references True Blood and Let The Right One In and writes:

What began with the Twilight Saga, the luridly romantic young-adult series by Stephenie Meyer, followed by Twilight, the movie, has become a pandemic of unholy proportions.

For Spike's sake: Vampire lust did not "begin" with Twilight. While La Ferla acknowledges the 1983 film The Hunger, the Sookie Stackhouse books penned by Charlaine Harris, and upcoming "supernatural action film" Blood: The Last Vampire (which looks awesome) — her underlying question is: Why? Why the pop culture obsession with vampires? La Ferla gets this:

The vampire's attraction is "all about the titillation of imagining the monsters we could be if we just let ourselves go," suggested Rick Owens, a fashion bellwether whose goth-tinged collections sometimes evoke the undead. "We're all fascinated with corruption, the more glamorous the better" and, he added, with the idea of "devouring, consuming, possessing someone we desire."

But in a new interview with True Blood series creator Alan Ball, he says: "Vampires are sex. Vampires basically arose in our time as a metaphor for sex. I mean, vampires are sort of the ultimate Romantic rock star, bad boy or girl fantasy." And: "I can't really talk that much about Twilight because I haven't read any of the books and I didn't see the movie. I personally don't really understand why you would have vampires in a something that is basically about abstinence."

Okay, sure, vampires are about unleashing your inner monster, sex and desire. But most famous vampire stories involve bloodsucking males preying on females. In this chart illustrating the "basics" of being a vampire, there's Bill from True Blood; Edward from Twilight and Angel from Buffy. Bloodsucking is a boy's world. Maybe that's why that the epic clip of Buffy prevailing over Edward Cullen is such refreshing turn of events. Jonathan McIntosh, who created the clip, says:

More than just a showdown between The Slayer and the Sparkly Vampire, it's also a humorous visualization of the metaphorical battle between two opposing visions of gender roles in the 21ist century […] In the end the only reasonable response was to have Buffy stake Edward – not because she didn't find him sexy, not because he was too sensitive or too eager to share his feelings – but simply because he was possessive, manipulative, and stalkery.

Although there are many vampire books written by women, and a few fierce female vamps — Buffy's Drusilla, Underworld's Selene, Let The Right One In's Eli, Queen Of The Damned's Akasha. But none of these women have achieved the fame and notoriety male vampires enjoy. A woman's role in vampire mythology is to get bitten, become enthralled, or both; the undead dudes are the ones with all the power.

A Trend With Teeth [NY Times]
In Vampire World, The Rules Keep Changing [USA Today]
From Dusk Til Dawn: Talking With Alan Ball About "True Blood" Season Two [Televisionary]
What Would Buffy Do? Notes On Dusting Edward Cullen [Women In Media & News]

Earlier: Buffy Shuts Down Edward Cullen In The Best Clip Ever

• Kate Moss and Beth Ditto performed an "impromptu duet" at a club last night — singing "Space Oddity" by David Bowie. Guess who thought they did a great job? Simon Cowell. [The Sun]

• Simon Cowell is reportedly "exhausted" and "can't go on juggling three high-profile talent competitions." Will he quit American Idol, X Factor, or Britain's Got Talent? [MSNBC]
• Hayden Panettiere, 19, has a nude scene in new movie I Love You, Beth Cooper. She says: "If I can't flaunt it at 20, come on! I mean I might as well show it now." [NY Daily News]
• FYI: Hayden Panettiere is single and looking to mingle, after dumping her boyfriend, UK TV presenter Steve Jones. [Daily Mail]
• Teenage heartbreak! Kevin Jonas, 21, is engaged to girlfriend Danielle Deleasa. "She said yes, yes, yes like 500 times super fast in a row," the oldest Jonas Brother gushes. [Rolling Stone]
• Brüno was re-rated to R from NC-17 after cuts and revisions. Specifically: Black circles will appear over certain naked body parts in three scenes. [Page Six]
• Jennifer Aniston, master chef? Friends say is an "awesome" cook and "everyone says she should open her own restaurant." [Daily Express]
• Oh dear: Holly Madison and illusionist Criss Angel: Back on. Just when we thought he'd made himself disappear! [Star]
• OK! magazine paid $500,000 for that "last" picture of Michael Jackson on the cover, and this columnist calls it "a new low." [MSNBC Scoop]
• One of Michael Jackson's former bodyguards says that he used to "confiscate" drugs from Michael Jackson and that Michael's doctors "have blood on their hands." This man also claims that Michael Jackson had a "secret girlfriend" when he died: "I'm not going to name who she is but I think the family were aware that there was someone special in his life who he loved and adored and had his ups and downs with. I don't know how long they've been a couple. I know she's been with him for some time in different capacities but... it's up to her if she wants it to come out or the family to speak about this very private information." [CBS News, Independent]
• Sources are saying that Michael Jackson's body had numerous injection marks. [TMZ]
• The DEA will assist the LAPD in investigating the doctors who treated Michael Jackson. [TMZ]
• Did Michael Jackson use the names Omar Arnold and Jack London to get more drugs? [TMZ]
• Will there be a public Michael Jackson memorial at the Los Angeles Coliseum? [AP]
• One place there won't be a public memorial: Neverland. [AP]
• "Michael Jackson had a mountain of unreleased recordings in the vault when he died - music that is almost certain to be packaged and repackaged for his fans in the years to come." [AP]
• This report claims that a second Michael Jackson will does not exist. [TMZ]
• "[Michael Jackson] didn't like his children to stand staring into a mirror for too long when getting ready. 'I look great,' young Prince once said as he combed his hair. 'No, you look OK,' Michael corrected him." [Daily Mail]
• The promoter of Michael Jackson's O2 concerts is understandably confused: "We want answers. We have poured millions of cash into Michael's comeback. All the tests pointed to Jacko being in fine physical shape. It's a complete mystery. The insurance company had an independent physician fly out from New York and give him a five-hour exam. We were told that he passed with flying colours. Now I would like see the results. If he was taking that amount of prescription drugs and cocktails, wouldn't that have been picked up in the blood test?" [Uri Geller "found Michael Jackson so sedated on a trip to the UK he screamed at him to wake up." [The Sun]
• Uri Geller also claims that he once hypnotized Michael Jackson and asked: "Tell me with total honesty - did you ever touch a child in an inappropriate manner? He answered without hesitation. 'No. I would never do that.' ‘Then why did you pay Jordy Chandler's family off?' 'It was the easiest thing to do.' He appeared to be still under deep hypnosis and I believed he was quite incapable of lying." [Spectator]
• Will ABBA replace Michael Jackson, playing shows on the dates he would have? [The Sun]
• Marcia Clark weighs in on Michael Jackson here. [The Daily Beast]
• Jermaine Jackson says of brother Michael: "He went too soon. I don't know how people are going to take this, but I wish it was me." [Breitbart]
• 64% of Americans say news organizations have covered Michael Jackson's death too much. [AP]
• Mischa Barton tried to bring a friend into a stall in the ladies' room at a club in London, but was stopped by an attendant. So Mischa went in by herself, but took so long that people were knocking on the door and asking if she was okay. Unrelated: One of the commenters on this story takes issues with Mischa's scuffed shoes: "A bit of boot polish wouldn't go amiss, they are disgraceful! I was always brought up to believe that you could judge a person's character by the state of their shoes." [Daily Mail]
• Daryl Hannah's essay, "Why I Was Arrested in Coal River, West Virginia," is a tale of Mountain Top Removal and activism. [Huffington Post]
• Check our the Photoshopped, porcelain-smooth face of Nicole Kidman in these citrus-flavored Schweppes beverage ads. [JustJared]
• Watch for Paula Abdul to guest star on Lifetime's new series Drop Dead Diva. She'll be acting, you guys. [People]
• Ryan O'Neal banned son Griffin O'Neal from Farrah Fawcett's funeral. [Page Six]
• Why did Rachel Hunter's "millionaire toyboy" call of he wedding weeks before the ceremony? No concrete answers here, just speculation, like: "It seems - excuse the pun - that the ice hockey player got cold feet over the couple's 13-year age gap." [Daily Mail]
• The medical examiner who oversaw the private autopsy on David Carradine has said that the star died from asphyxiation, and it was not a suicide. [Reuters]
• RIP Mollie Sugden, who played Mrs. Slocombe on Are You Being Served? We'll miss that purple bouffant! [Guardian]
• "It can be difficult to fight the pressure to be thin but I've learned over the years to accept who I am. My children help enormously. They constantly tell me I'm beautiful, which makes it easier." — Andie MacDowell. [Daily Express]
• "If audiences had known my true feelings, they may have felt I wasn't right for the series." — Sarah Jessica Parker, who admits that she is shocked by Carrie Bradshaw's "racy" antics. [The Sun]
• "I just wrote an illustrated children's book. It's going to be launching in about a year, but I just finished the text." — Tori Spelling. [In Touch]
• "I was going to start a rumor that I'm sleeping with Jon Gosselin, but even I'm not willing to go there with his free Ed Hardy hoodie and his tiger pants. Clearly, Jon and Kate have gotten everything free, including their house, I think. They kicked my [butt] in the getting-free-[stuff] department." — Kathy Griffin. [Austin 360]
• "I needed that time away [from acting] to get re-energized. So when Nia [Vardalos] called and said, 'I wrote this script and I want you to read it,' I said, 'What is it?' She said, 'It's a romantic comedy.' I said, 'Send it over!' I was droolin.'" — John Corbett. [LA Times]
• "We're not thrilled with how [President Obama] is dealing with the issue [of gay rights] right now, but my guess is that polling is telling him that the American people by and large are more concerned about the economy. He probably doesn't want to take on a hot social issue like this, but I think the memorandum he signed is a baby step. Legalizing gay marriage is inevitable." — Kathy Griffin. [Austin 260]

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to The Zoe Report: More Goop For Your Inbox: "I can walk over the bathroom in my $5 Old Navy flip flops and just flush $1000 down the toilet, I don't need a newsletter telling me how to do it in style." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Betsey Wants To Be "Like Ralph!"; Beyonce, Mom Do Sasha Fierce For Deréon: "Other J-Lo perfume titles: Look at Me Glow. Glowing Bride. Glowing Red. So Much For The Afterglow. Glow-rius. My Glowiness. And her kids line: Glow Worm (glow in the dark stickers included)." You Say: "My Glow-rogative. Waiting for Glownight. Glow in Manhattan. On the Glow. Jenny from the Glow" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Earnestly-Titled Women's History Magazine Looks Awesome: "We'll finally get the truth about clothing sizes in the 1950's!!" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to What's Your "Figure-Making Strategy?": "Okay, goals for summer: 1. Obtain pretty pink one-piece vintage swimsuit (in today's sizing...not that of the 1950's) with elasticized shirring. 2. Become an illustration. I think this is totally achievable."

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.





Any meetups happening???

[Image via Oh! My God! I Miss You]

[Melbourne, July 1. Image via Getty.]

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - JULY 01: Snow Leopards enjoys the snow as snow and ice sculptures are installed to create a winter wonderland at Melbourne Zoo on July 1, 2009 in Melbourne, Australia. The snow has been brought in from Mount Buller in a promotion for the Victorian ski resort. (Photo by Lucas Dawson/Getty Images)

OK!
"Tragic Death." The mag chose a cover image that some are calling "ghoulish" and a "disgrace," especially since Michael Jackson may already be dead in the photo. Some advertisers may be pissed and there's talk of a boycott. Inside you'll find a standard collage of old and new Michael Jackson photographs. Also inside: Kristen Stewart has dumped her boyfriend Michael Angarano, according to a source, which means she COULD date Robert Pattinson, but she doesn't want to rush into another relationship. YAWN. One spread in the "news" section is called "The Many Faces Of Johnny Depp" and is just pictures of characters he has played. News? Really?
Grade: F (pulled away by rip tide)

Life & Style
"Who Killed Michael." The headline inside is "Drugs, Anorexia and Missing Millions," and you'll find a typical sensationalist story: the family thinks drugs were being used to manipulate Michael; there might have been millions stolen from him; he kept saying that he owed people money and people would kill him if he didn't do the London concerts. On and on, bullshit. Moving on: Bradley Cooper and Gerard Butler are "competing" for Jennifer Aniston. During a late night shoot on Bounty Hunter, Jen was getting really "chatty" with Gerard, and a source says "Gerard was getting really close to her on the escalator." Um, it's an escalator. How far apart can two people be? Also, Gerard is "just like" Brad Pitt because they "wear similar hats," "they love their bikes," they've got great bodies," and they both wear aviator sunglasses. In a story about how Kate Gosselin might raise her kids alone, there's a sidebar on Jon Gosselin, in which the magazine spells his name with an H (we circled it in yellow for you) and prints the headline, "John Trades The Kids For Booze, Money And Women." (Fig. 1). Kendra Wilkinson had "wedding dress drama" when days before the ceremony, she discovered that her dress didn't fit! Her boobs were too big, because she is three months pregnant, "I had to get my whole dress redone," she explains. Britney Spears would like her agent/boyfriend Jason Trawick to move in with her at the end of her tour. Jacqueline of RHONJ clears up what Caroline was accusing Danielle of doing to Dina in the reunion special, saying: "Danielle was trying to harm Dina by giving her ex-husband a phone number that might give him leverage in the custody of their daughter Lexi." Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel might be "taking a break" since they have not been photographed together since May 31 and a source says, "I think they might be over." Robert Pattinson's aunt speaks to the magazine and says: "I don't think it would be a good idea for Robert to be in a serious relationship with Kristen. How can he live his life with a fellow star with their every move being watched, just like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?"
Grade: D- (jellyfish sting)

Star
"52 Best & Worst Beach Bodies!"
Some of the "best" include 15-year-old Ali Lohan, perennial fave Kim Kardashian, and Julia Roberts. Worsts? Kate Gosselin, Stephanie Seymour and Helena Christensen — the latter two have cellulite. Moving on: According to this magazine, Janet Jackson should get the kids because Katherine Jackson is too old and "it's what Michael would have wanted." Although the cover says "Janet Fights For Michael's Kids," it appears to be a lie — there is no information ANYWHERE indicating that Janet has gotten involved or wants the kids. Next: Justin Ross Lee, "an up and coming Facebook celebrity," sat next to Ashley Olsen on an airplane, took pictures of her sleeping and apparently sold the story to Star. It's a Star "exclusive." Disney Star Selena Gomez has a mole on her chest and if the 16-year-old star tries on a dress with a neckline low enough that the beauty mark can be seen, her mom nixes it. Says the mom: "I'm on constant mole patrol." James Haven — brother of Angelina Jolie — has a license plate which reads "Shilloh," because that was his nickname as a kid. Angie named her daughter after him, in a way. Lindsay Lohan went to get a manicure and had no cash on her, and no credit cards; she let another customer pay the bill for her. Blind item! "Which funnylady is a fan of those funny-smelling cigarettes? Tongues were wagging when she showed up half-baked at an industry dinner in L.A. on June 19th." In an interview with Robert Pattinson's exes, we learn that he was "amazing" in bed and that his first girlfriend now works in a slaughterhouse in New Zealand. Kevin, the ex-husband of RHONJ's Danielle Staub, claims that Danielle brought up "the book" to producers before the show. After she made the plea deal so she wouldn't go to prison, she started receiving anonymous threatening phone calls — possibly from the drug dealers she'd ratted out — and was talking about maybe going into the witness protection program.
Grade: D (mangled and tumbled by six foot waves)

In Touch
"Gone Too Soon."
To accompany this classic, retro cover straight out of 1984, there are two long stories about Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, PLUS A PULL-OUT POSTER with Michael on one side and Farrah on the other. Margaret is totally hanging it in her locker. (Fig. 2a, 2b) Also inside: Lindsay Lohan wears $2,165 ripped jeans. (Fig. 3). Madonna and Mercy look cute together! (Fig. 4). Did Stephanie Pratt have a nose job (Fig. 5)? Is Britney "unraveling" again? Recently she went shopping and changed her outfit in every store. Then, in London, she "tearfully shut herself into a closet" and "her assistant had to coax her out by promising to buy her tacos." Kate Gosselin is "flabby" now that the divorce is getting to her. Or wearing a different cut of bathing suit? Bradley Cooper is "going to break Jen's heart" because the night before their date, we was out with Lake Bell and "had his hands all over her legs." Check out Style Network star Ruby's "first fashion shoot" ever, on page 85 (Fig. 6). Lastly, a spider monkey named Coco announces that she likes bananas, grapes and swings, and is the 4th of the Girls Next Door (Fig.7).
Grade: C (sunburn)

Us
"His Final Days."
Margaret says this is the best Michael Jackson story she has read all week. Instead of the recapped/CNN stuff the other magazines are printing. The mag talks to Michael's former bodyguard, who says that MJ was often over-medicated and "I would have to literally lift him up and carry him back to the car or back to his room." Michael had a fall-out with his former best friend, illusionist Uri Geller, because Geller tried to tell him he was taking too many painkillers and anti-depressants — Michael couldn't accept someone confronting him, because he's used to getting his way. A family source says that Michael's usual schedule was to sleep until late in the afternoon and stay up all night, but when he started rehearsals for the tour, it "totally screwed up his system." He started using stimulants in order to get up early for the rehearsals. There's another story in the mag about Michael's "Life As A Dad" with tons of previously unseen pictures of his kids. Plus, there's deep insight as to what the kids' lives were like. Sources say the kids were very intelligent and fairly normal. Michael would get down on his knees on the floor and change Blanket's diaper. Michael made a big deal out of Christmas, because growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, he wasn't allowed to celebrate. But a photographer says that his wacky behavior did affect the kids: He was paranoid that someone was trying to poison the kids, and at hotels, there would be a long list of stuff they couldn't eat. When they stayed in fancy hotels, Michael would go in and baby-proof everything — like go in and put cardboard and tape on all sharp edges of the furniture. The kids were home-schooled in a classroom at Neverland that had blackboards, textbooks and desks, and the children had to wear matching uniforms to school. They had instructors, but Michael also handled some of the lessons: He taught them African-American history, music and art. There's also information on the biological father of the kids, dermatologist Arnold Klein. Plus: Did you know that Katherine Jackson and Joe Jackson don't live together? She lives in L.A. and he lives in Vegas. Also inside: Kanye West has been interning at the GAP's offices in NYC. "He works all the time, and one Friday night recently, he stayed until 12 am. He's learning the fashion business from the inside and trying to do it quietly." Jennifer Garner hates Ben Affleck's ex, Gwyneth Paltrow! She's annoyed that Gwyneth sends her kids to Violet's school… but only for a few weeks a year, which "messes up the dynamics of the class." Lastly, there are six pages of "official photos" from Kendra Wilkinson's wedding — she was bumped off the cover by the death of MJ. Margaret found the wedding, which took place at the Playboy Mansion, to be a "shockingly classy affair." Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt were among the bridesmaids, and Hef and his three new girlfriends were in attendance. Hef danced with Kendra to "As Time Goes By." Fatherly!
Grade: B- (sand in crotch of swimsuit)

Fig. 1

Fig. 2a

Fig. 2b

Fig. 3

Fig. 4

Fig. 5

Fig. 6

Fig. 7

[New York, June 30. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Sign up, and "you'll be the first to know" about Zoe's favorite fashion, beauty and lifestyle finds," according to the site. "It's going to be bananas!"

But as BlackBook points out:

Seeing as the "Editorial Policy" on the site reads, "The chic variety of accessories, apparel, and other items featured in the Zoe Report are carefully chosen by our editorial team of fashion addicts-ahem-experts" ... more likely than not the products and people highlighted might not necessarily chosen by Zoe herself, but rather a trusted editorial team.

In other words, expect Daily Candy-esque e-mails about shoes, handbags and beauty items.

The question is, don't we already know what Rachel Zoe offers? between her TV show, her best-selling book and clients? How many loose, drapey gowns/caftans and oversized sunglasses are there in the word? Wait. Don't answer that: Surely the Zoe Report will let us know.

Rachel Zoe Expands Empire with Fashion Newsletter [BlackBook]

• Lindsay Lohan turns 23 tomorrow, but she's allegedly already been paid $70,000 by the MGM Grand for hosting an all-day "pre-celebration" in Las Vegas last Saturday.

Even though LL changed bathing suits five times and promoted her Sevin Nyne tanning product, a source says: "None of her really close friends were there" and LL just did it for the cash. [Page Six]

• Meghan McCain thinks Hilary Duff would be a great choice to play her in a movie: "I think she's really hot - hotter than me - but I'd still want her to play me." [Gatecrasher]
• Even though Mariah Carey was supposedly dressed like Eminem for her "Obsessed" video, she looks more like that dude from Linkin Park, no? [Gatecrasher]
• Heidi Klum: Expecting a girl? There were pink cupcakes at her baby shower! [Gatecrasher]
• "A close Michael Jackson confidant tells The Daily Beast's Gerald Posner he believes the star triggered his death with a foolhardy plan to void a concert commitment: mixing pills to prompt a minor hospital visit." "Like a child who doesn't want to go to school, Michael thought he could get away from his obligations if he had a 'note from the doctor.'" [The Daily Beast]
• A registered nurse named Cherilyn Lee has stated that Michael Jackson was an insomniac who begged for strong sedative drugs to induce sleep. [AP, AP]
• TMZ says: "We're told the drug Propofol was discovered at the [Jackson] residence. The drug is used to put people under anesthesia before surgery. It is an extremely powerful drug that is only available to medical personnel. As one source said, 'There is no conceivable way this drug can be properly prescribed for home use.'" [TMZ]
• If Neverland becomes a memorial site, don't go looking for Michael Jackson's animals — they won't be coming back. [TMZ]
• The man who kept Neverland from being auctioned says: "We must be prepared for the fact that visitors and fans will come, with or without permission or an invitation." [Yahoo via E!]
• A concrete truck arrived at Neverland yesterday. Preparations for the memorial? [TMZ]
• "Ukrainians Want Village Named After Michael Jackson." [Breitbart]
• "There is nobody who knew Michael like I did… For instance, people always think of him as talking in that high, soft voice, but he didn't really speak like that - it was a facade. Still to this day I am not sure why he did it. The Michael I knew talked like a real man, acted like a real man and shook a hand like a real man." — David Gest, an authority on manliness. [The Sun]
• Here, Quincy Jones talks about the music he and Michael Jackson made together. [WSJ]
• In his last "interview," — which seems to be just chatter from the Staples center — Michael Jackson was rehearsing and said: "This is where I belong. I am so excited. We need a bit more work on a few more songs but we're so nearly there. This is what it's all about. Me being on stage." [Mirror]
• The Iowa State Fair is planning a butter sculpture of Michael Jackson. [MSNBC]
• Video. From Dolly Parton. Mourning Michael Jackson, whom she says had "the heart of an angel." [EW]
• "Joe Jackson Still Has Power To Upset Family" Duh. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Photographer Kevin Mazur took pictures of Michael Jackson's rehearsal at the Staples Center. He says: "Michael was physically fit and performing the same way that I photographed him through the years. You can look at the photos. I documented it, I was there." He says he was shocked to find out Jackson had died a few days later, because: "He was full of energy and full of life."[BBC News]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but the Michael Jackson shot OK! is using on their cover this week is being called "ghoulish" and a "disgrace." [Page Six]
• Michael Jackson's will: Filed today. [TMZ]
• 200 friends, colleagues and family members — including jailed son Redmond O'Neal, Ryan O'Neal, Alana Stewart, Lee Majors, Ernie Hudson, Cheryl Tiegs, Jackie Collins, Joan Collins, Gary Shandling, Marla Maples and hairstylist Jose Eber attended the funeral of Farrah Fawcett. [E!, CNN]
• Alana Stewart delivered a eulogy for Farrah Fawcett, saying:
  "Goodbye sweet girl… [Farrah] never felt sorry for herself during her illness ... she fought cancer furiously. She's the most beautiful angel in heaven. She always seemed so indestructible." [People]
• Forbes has released it's "Hollywood's Top-Earning Actresses List" and Angelina Jolie is number one, with poor lonely desperate single Jennifer Aniston as number 2. Meryl Streep is third. But! There's a gender pay gap! "All told, the top 10 actors earned $393 million, compared with $183 million for the top 10 actresses." [Forbes]
• "Sacha Baron Cohen Attempts To Appease Gay Community By Posing For Attitude Magazine." Nude, of course. [Daily Mail]
• Life & Style magazine asked Robert Pattinson's aunt if he should date Kristen Stewart. She replied: "I don't think it would be a good idea for Robert to be in a serious relationship with Kristen. How can he live his life with a fellow star, with their every move being watched just like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?" Thank you. Very helpful. [Daily Express]
• Robert Pattinson was seen hanging out with a pack of guys and going un recognized by wearing a baseball cap. [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle will not appear on Ugly Betty, even though that's what we heard. [ONTD]
• The Beckhams have their 10-year wedding anniversary coming up! David will whisk Victoria away on a "surprise" trip to Richard Branson's private island in the Caribbean. Although is it a surprise if it's in The Sun? [WWD]
• From a Q&A with True Blood's Anna Paquin: You and Stephen [Moyer] are in a relationship off-camera as well. The passion you have on the show is palpable — did it transition from on-screen to off-screen or vise-versa?: "We met at his screen test when they were doing, essentially, a chemistry read to make sure the Sookie they had cast was going to click with the Bill they wanted to cast, and shockingly enough we ended up liking each other. But, it kind of all happened at the same time — it's kind of hard to say which came first because when you click with someone and you have that sort of – vibe — that's just how we've always been around each other. Nothing's really changed except we live together now." Was your first kiss then on-screen or off-screen?: "Ha. I'm not telling you that." [Out]
• Usher's wife was surprised by the divorce filing and "had every reason to believe her marriage was intact." Uh-oh. [USA Today]
• Uh-oh, this item snarks on Stacy London's outfit. Not cool. [Page Six]
• Kerry Washington is looking for a "cheap" furnished apartment in Manhattan, which means $3,000 a month. Can it be done? [Page Six]
• Cute! Christina Applegate will play Drew Barrymore's big sister in Going The Distance, a rom com about a long-distance relationship — which also stars Drew's maybe-boyfriend Justin Long. [E!]
• A street corner in Queens, NYC will be named for Run-DMC. Slay all suckers who perpetrate and lay down law from state to state. [NY Times]
• "I wish to not talk unless we're doing the scene. I enjoy it that way. Johnny seemed happy to do it that way, too. So the answer is: No, we really didn't get to know each other better between each take. So I guess I'll have to wait and get to know Johnny Depp someday." — Christian Bale, on Public Enemies. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• "I prefer to walk away with the experience as opposed to walking away with the product… I like to portray a character, inhabit a character and build character, but I don't want to watch the end result necessarily, because it becomes about money then and I'd rather not think about that. My children have seen more films of mine than I have. They've seen all of them within reason - many more than I have. I have no plans to see them - any of them." — Johnny Depp. [BBC News]
• "It is deff. in my top 3 favorite books of all time! :) so disturbing but beautifully written." — Miley Cyrus, on Identical, in which twin sisters escape troubled lives — one by sex and drugs, the other by bingeing and cutting herself. [Page Six]
• "The script kept changing and evolving to the point where I was no longer appropriate for it. Cate's 10 years older than me, which is more suitable for the script. If they'd recast with Keira Knightley I'd have been heartbroken but they've gone for something different – and better in my opinion. If I had the choice between Cate Blanchett and me I'd go for Cate Blanchett." — Sienna Miller, on not being Maid Marian in Robin Hood. [Daily Express]

[Image via Lindsay Lohan's Twitter]

One the one hand, you have children whose parents would like them to lead a somewhat normal life.

On the other hand, you have the government telling photojournalists — not paparazzi but news organizations — what they can and cannot publish.

According to Politico's Michael Calderone, the AP wouldn't put pre-approved White House photos of the girls' first day of school on the wire — the same way a newspaper wouldn't print a White House press release, verbatim. That's not journalism.

Recently, when President Obama caught sight of 8-year-old daughter Sasha on the White House's Truman Balcony, he waved, and she waved back, and photographers captured a "rare, unscripted" moment. White House officials apparently asked news organizations not to distribute the image. A few weeks later, President Obama took his daughters out for ice cream, and photographers were permitted to photograph them and use the images — a set-up photo op.

According to the AP:

The two events reflect both the First Family's insistence on raising their young daughters away from the spotlight of the White House and their penchant for carefully using them to bolster the president's political image.

"He's going to try to have it both ways until and unless people start to question his value system and his sincerity in playing that role," said Gerald Shuster, a political communications expert at the University of Pittsburgh.

It's tough to figure out what feels right in this situation. Of course there's a curiosity about the Obama daughters and how they live. Kids! In the White House! It's exciting. Then again, they shouldn't be followed by paparazzi or thrust into an unwanted spotlight.

But isn't it troubling how the President is trying to control the media? Because there's a responsibility to your children, and there's spin control and censorship. And we're lucky to live in a country with a free press, where the government doesn't control the media. Where do the President's rights end and the photojournalist's rights begin?

WH Restrictions For Daughters Rankle Photogs [Politico]
Earlier: Paparazzi Desperate For Photos Of First Daughters

[Image via The Official White House Flickr.]

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to "Same Facts, Different Conclusions": "And so Noah said, 'Listen, guys, it can either be the elephant or the T-Rex — my boat is not that goddamn big.' And then the T-Rex ate the two unicorns, and it was decided." Similarly: "That will teach you to smoke with the Unicorns behind the Ark. A 5:15 DEPARTURE MEANS A 5:15 DEPARTURE, Triceajerks!" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Deception, Seduction & Cannibalism: Drama In The Night Sky:





Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

[Image via Oh! My God! I Miss You]

Cankles are the fastest growing "aesthetic affliction" in the United States… even ahead of other bathing suit killers like Muffin Tops, Saddle Bags and Moobs. Millions of people across the country are currently affected by Cankles and millions more are "at risk." In fact, it is estimated that if current trends continue, by the year 2012 Cankles will surpass Love Handles as the number one aesthetic affliction in the world.

Gold's Gym has created saynotocankles.com to raise awareness for this growing epidemic and provide information and resources for those affected. If you or a loved one is suffering Cankles…we are here to provide the support you need.

This is supposed to be hilarious.

Listen, no one disputes that that obesity is an epidemic and that exercise is good. But what point is there in mocking someone's "aesthetic affliction"? What if you're big-boned? Should you shave down your fibula?

Luckily, Gold's Gym talks to Corry Matthews, "a Virginia-based trainer and member of Gold's Gym Fitness Institute." (Not a doctor.) He says: "Even if you're in great shape, fatty deposits around the ankles are difficult to shrink."

Great. So what's the point again?

Gold's Gym Addresses 'Cankles' [BusinessWeek]

Related: SayNoToCankles.com [Official Site]

[New York, June 29. Image via INFDaily.]

1. First there's the rampant Photoshoppery. Not just on the ladies — take a look at the diamonds under the word "dimepiece" on the cover.


2. The models. Though the publication delivers a mix of interviews with rappers and half-clothed ladies, the models are actually the stars, and there's an interview with each one. After spending so much time looking at the lean, curveless cookie-cutter jumping mannequins that women's magazines offer, it's oddly refreshing to see a completely different body type on display. Not just on display — fetishized, sexualized, celebrated. These women — who would never be seen in Vogue — are superstars on these pages. And as sexy as these poses are — as butt-focused as the magazine is — there's actually very little nudity. Nipples are covered; thongs and underwear are worn.

Although: To be clear: This is a magazine featuring women with big butts. That is why it exists. It's not high-brow, it's not intended to be social commentary. It's what you call spank bank material. It reduces women to parts. Still: It's fascinating to see these women posing with confidence, since most of the world tells them that they are not the right height, size or shape to model.

3. Ethnic diversity. More than you might think.

4. "My Girlfriend Got A Girlfriend." While crudely illustrated with one woman holding a fork while between the other woman's legs, this interview deals with lesbian misconceptions and stereotypes. In addition, this magazine also has a story called "Why Gay Hip-Hop/Rap?" which argues that rappers have stolen style cues from Liberace and Elton John and a gay rapper would be "hip-hop's chance to live out its true meaning — that is; a voice to the voiceless, an all-inclusive genre which transcends…"

5. The cupcake diet, recommended by a model named "Seven."

6. A model with what seems to be a visible Cesarean scar.

7. "The 10 Model Commandments," which reads like a Crap Magazine Essay From A Dude. While some of these assertions - "nobody likes a liar," "nobody likes a thief" — are valid; the author loses me on number 6, with its Biblical "unsanitary female" whining.

[London, June 29. Image via WENN.]

[Los Angeles, June 29. Image via Flynet.]

Vibe was founded in 1993 by Quincy Jones; Smith was a music editor from 1994-96; became the editor-in-chief in 1997; left in 1999 and had recently returned. Smith married a former co-worker, Elliot Wilson, who ended up becoming the editor-in chief of XXL — meaning a husband-and-wife team were competing for magazine covers.


Though Vibe was very successful in the late '90s and early '00s — even branching out with a title aimed specifically towards women, Vibe Vixen — lately, it had reduced its circulation and cut salaries, suffering in the recession. We suspect that this also means there won't be any more new issues of Vibe offshoot The Most!.



Vibe Magazine Shutting Down [Daily Finance]
Danyel Smith Biography [Answers]
Earlier: 8 Reasons Why We Sorta Love New Gossip Mag The Most!

[New York, June 29. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

At the start of the show, contestants entered a house where filming took place and found two cabinets: One called "EAT" — filled with nuts, fruits and vegetables — and one called "CHEAT," filled with cookies and doughnuts. Most went right for the cookies, immediately.

While there will be a doctor, nutritionist and trainer on hand while the contestants are participating, the producers made sure to air plenty of footage of the contestants snacking, and even included home video of them eating.

But even weirder was the actual dancing. With strange cover versions of popular songs playing, the contestants were made to wear unflattering, skin exposing ensembles — not that they should wear muumuus! — but every dancer's outfit had cut-outs through the body; and one man's shirt was sheer. They were hideous. And a few of the routines were cringe-inducing in their cheesiness.

Though some of the contestants were energetic and enthusiastic (see: Trice, above), the overall experience of watching them have "forced fun" — being trussed up and made to dance in a spotlight in front of an audience and judges — left this viewer with a bad taste in her mouth. (And don't miss the part where a judge subtly tells this woman she'd make a good pole dancer.)

Dance Your Ass Off [Oxygen]

• Here's the first picture of Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick with their new twins, Marion and Tabitha Broderick. Big brother James, are you ready for double trouble? [TMZ]

• Britney Spears has dark hair and something that looks like an engagement ring. What does it mean??? [NY Daily News]
• Uh-oh: Us Weekly dropped $120,000 for exclusive rights to Kendra Wilkinson's wedding, but the death of Michael Jackson will push her bridal bliss off the cover. [Page Six]
• Will Michael Jackson's body be put on display in a coffin of glass, like Eva Peron? [The Sun]
• Michael Jackson's mother has been granted temporary guardianship of his three kids. [LA Times]
• According to a source, Michael Jackson almost died once before — in 2004 — he was unconscious and had to be revived. [Fox News]
• Michael Jackson's doctor didn't call 911 for a half hour after finding MJ unconscious. [TMZ]
• The LAPD is trying to identify and interview "multiple doctors" who treated or prescribed medicine to Michael Jackson. [LA Times]
• Michael Jackson's mother Katherine is worried about people stealing from MJ's estate. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe has been reaching out to the Jackson family, but has been unsuccessful. [People]
• A will drafted by Michael Jackson in 2002 may be released this week. [WSJ]
• "Michael Jackson's Last Art Purchase." A wicked witch painting. [TMZ]
• "Michael Jackson was spending £30,000 a month on prescription drugs," says this paper, which lied to us yesterday. [The Sun]
• "Michael Jackson's Death: Sorting Fact From Fiction." A run down of all the claims and contradictions. [NY Daily News]
• Two weeks before he died, Michael Jackson completed a video project; his last. [AP]
• Expect some "instant" Michael Jackson books — some due by the end of the week, one coming in July. [AP]
• Michael Jackson's "This Is It" tour is being transformed into a tribute concert in September, and Madonna may take part. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Here is Lindsay Lohan posing like Michael Jackson. [NY Daily News]
• Ladies and gentlemen, a statement from Jon and Kate Gosselin: "During this very difficult time we will be working to focus solely on the needs of our family. This includes no longer commenting publicly or reacting to media stories and speculation. Our goal is to do the very best for our children and that will be done as privately as possible. We appreciate the understanding, support and well wishes from so many. Thank you." [TLC]
• Chris Brown was not at the BET Awards because Al Sharpton and Jay-Z were "very vocal" with producers about not letting him appear. [Gatecrasher]
• A source says: "Jay-Z wasn't having it. He threatened to pull out of the show if Chris was involved, so BET dropped Chris." [Page Six]
• Chris Brown's friend Teairra Mari says: "He's sorry. That's my friend, and I love Chris. He's a good kid-he just made a mistake. He knows that and feels terrible about it." [E!]
• Justin Timberlake went out boozing with Guy Ritchie, and guess which one went home at 2:30am and which one stayed in the pub? Guy was in it til the bitter end. [The Sun]
• How is the filming of The Runaways going? Well, Joan Jett made Kristen Stewart cry. So. [Gatecrasher]
• Some GQ Brüno pictures in which the character is posing with a high school football team have infuriated a school official in L.A., who says: "We've allowed our students to be used, and not in the most glamorous circumstances either." [UPI]
• Susan Boyle on Ugly Betty? Why, yes. [Telegraph]
• Amy Winehouse has been banned from taking in any more stray dogs after resort management had to fumigate her house in St. Lucia. [The Sun]
• George Clooney is not dead. Why are there so many death pranks? That shit is not funny. [TMZ]
• Kate Moss's boyfriend Jamie Hince is getting tired of Kate's lengthy karaoke sessions and is limiting her to half an hour a day. [The Sun]
• Lady GaGa visited an HIV Support Centre in Manchester, UK yesterday, and said: "I've been doing volunteer work since I was two." She also said: "I want to make it fashionable to have safe sex. You must be safe. You can have sex with hundreds of people with a condom on and get nothing. If you have sex without one, then you could get all sorts of problems." To which this paper asks, "Speaking from experience?" [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher is Tweeting for the White House. No, really. [Politico]
• Kathy Griffin on NPR! "NPR listeners, I know who you are. I know you guys read books, which I find tedious. You guys might try a book called Us Weekly. OK? It's a really good book. It has a lot of pictures." [NPR]
• Megan Fox spent the weekend in Las Vegas with Brian Austin Green. Back together? [E!]
• Someone threw a drink on Anna Kournikova at a club in Vegas and the tennis player "sprang into action," showing and screaming at the lady. [Page Six]
• Marissa Jaret Winokur continues to blog about her "weight loss journey." She writes: "I downloaded the video of Beyoncé's 'Single Ladies' and started to learn her dance. Let me tell you, if I ever did that dance in a club I would still be a single lady!!! But what a workout! It was free and fun and it kept my son very entertained – it was like a real-life Muppet danced out of his TV and into the living room. It kept him and, sadly, my husband very amused for almost an hour." [People]
• "Hollywood stars Antonio Banderas And Melanie Griffiths' Garden Seized As Spain Cracks Down On Illegal Coastal Homes." They'll lose their 40 foot swimming pool! [Daily Mail]
• Is Antonia Kidman — sister of Nicole and TV personality in Australia — addicted to exercise? [News.com.au]
• Redmond O'Neal with be allowed to leave jail to attend his mother Farrah Fawcett's funeral. [People]
• Law And Order: SVU fans, take note: Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay have finally signed on to stay for two more seasons. [Variety]
• Amy Adams is in negotiations to star alongside Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg in boxing drama The Fighter. [Variety]
• Some kind of drama involving Kanye West's bisexual girlfriend Amber Rose and a singer named Nicki Minaj, who Amber hit on? [ONTD]
• Here's a Q&A with Wilco's Jeff Tweedy, who says: "We did get word that whoever's in charge of loading [Barack Obama's] iPod requested the record and we got the record in." [Time]
• Best wishes to 92-year-old Zsa Zsa Gabor, who is out of the hospital after a 6-day stay for flu-like symptoms. [AP]
• The Nutty Professor is coming to Broadway, and Jerry Lewis will direct. [AP]
• Whatshername and Whatshisname: fighting in public. [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which former boy bander looked oh-so-strung-out over the weekend? His diet of booze and nose candy certainly isn't helping his skin-and-bones appearance." [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't watch TV comedy in the UK anymore. We've got some poor copies of Curb Your Enthusiasm, some poor copies of Entourage and some poor copies of Seinfeld. With a few exceptions the Americans seem to be ahead of the game." — Ricky Gervais. [The Sun]
• "I pointed to a spot where I told him I wanted to be buried. Michael had a meltdown right then and there when he heard this. He shrieked and bent over and said, 'No, no, no.' [He said,] 'Don't ever talk about your dying. Don't ever think about it.' I couldn't pretend to understand him. There were so many complicated signals. Did he want me to be his 'older woman' friend? He gravitated to older women. For solace? Succor? A beard? Did he want me to teach him the ropes? I never could quite figure it out." — Jane Fonda, on her relationship with Michael Jackson. [E!]
• "I wish I could say that I was inspired by him for a role, I was inspired by him because I think he was a great artist but he was not the inspiration for Willy Wonka contrary to what most people say. No no no, I never ever thought of playing Michael Jackson in a film, I think if anyone should play Michael Jackson in a film it should've been Michael Jackson. A mother and a father have lost a son, siblings have lost a brother and millions of people around the world have lost someone they love. Children have lost a father so it's obviously a very sad, sad moment." — Johnny Depp. [The Star]
• "At the moment I feel like I need to go away and figure out what I want to do and be myself for a bit. I just want to take a step back from it and not rush into stuff. I need university to give me that break. People think because I'm going to university I'm never going to act again, but it's actually me… I want to… figure out how I feel about everything first. Maybe I'll keep acting, maybe I won't. I just want to find something where I feel I have to do this. Maybe that'll happen when I read a script. It felt like that with Hermione. I want to feel like that again." — Emma Watson, who will attend Columbia University in the fall. [Elle UK, NY Daily News]

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to It's Hammertime: "Good news for women in carpentry - U R 2 Legit 2 Quit!" We say: Don't stop. • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to "Something Once Regarded As Exotic Has Become Commonplace.": "The best part of waking up…Might be Folger's in your cup…But the best way to end your day…Is a vibrator in your vajayjay." We say: Uh, the only thing that comes to mind is fill it to the rim?

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

[Image via Oh! My God! I Miss You]

Images of suffragettes are juxtaposed with images of "modern" women, yet the language is still sexist — the cigarette flavor is "mild," for women only; the cigarettes are "tailored for the feminine hand." As blogger Lisa of Sociological Images points out, the last commercial insists that the cigarette is "beautiful."

What's interesting is that this idea of the smoking woman as being both "beautiful" and "liberated" has stuck with us, to some extent. In the late '70s, women were being encouraged to smoke pretty. Some recent fashion layouts have featured smoking models, gorgeous in their utter lack of feeling "motherly." In 2007, a direct mail campaign marketed Camel cigarettes as a "designer" "must-have." And when thinking of contemporary iconic women who smoke, three images sprang to mind:

Carrie Bradshaw

Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction

Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct

All beautiful, all "liberated," not the kind of women who ask permission. Do we as viewers see them as sexy and confident? Or as damaging their lungs and hearts?

"You've Got Your Own Cigarette Now, Baby!" [Sociological Images]
Virginia Slims Commercials (1969) [Internet Archive]
Earlier: How To Market Death To Women: Make It Sexy, Make It Pink
Oldies But Goodies

Set in Baghdad, following soldiers specially trained to dismantle IEDs, The Hurt Locker made more money per screen than Transformers: Rise Of The Fallen this weekend, though it was shown on only four screens. (Critics panned Transformers, but it made $201 million anyway.)

Director Kathryn Bigelow — who has won a Sarris award — had a great idea — The Hurt Locker is based on a Playboy piece by Mark Boal — but no money.

"We raised the money," says Bigelow. "It took a year, and we didn't raise much, but every penny is on the screen."

But the big problem is that some critics can't get over the fact that a woman can direct a war movie about men. (Apparently, some can't get over her looks, either.) In the June 14 edition of the Washington Post, Stephen Hunter wrote:

She is slim — imperially slim — fashionably dressed, startlingly beautiful… She has big eyes and big hair and is the sort of woman who looks good in restaurants, on the fantail of a yacht or on the cover of a magazine… Everything about her speaks of refinement and class: She has a salad and a latte… She's so damn perfect it's quite annoying…How does the extraordinary movie director Kathryn Bigelow, 57, know so much about the alpha male?

It's condescending, really, for him to assert that because she's female and attractive, she can't make a movie about an aggressive soldier. But as Andrew O'Hehir writes for Salon, "If she wanted to play the role, Kathryn Bigelow could easily present herself as Exhibit A of the enduring sexism of Hollywood."

Having seen the movie over the weekend, I can agree with Caryn James of The Daily Beast who raves that it is "a taut psychological thriller" and "fiery with action that never calls distracting attention to its sophisticated camerawork." (The audience in the screening I saw in downtown NYC was evenly mixed in terms of gender; the one Anna saw on NYC's Upper West Side, however, was 80% male.) Obviously, the experiences the soldiers have - fear, exhaustion, irritation, hope, hopelessness, determination, workplace camaraderie — are universal; you don't need a penis to understand them. James also claims that:

The Hurt Locker explodes the simple-minded myth that women don't make great action directors, and the even more persistent delusion that if ladies ran the world we'd all live in some peaceable kingdom.

A.O. Scott of The New York Times was even more enthusiastic, gushing:

If "The Hurt Locker" is not the best action movie of the summer, I'll blow up my car. The movie is a viscerally exciting, adrenaline-soaked tour de force of suspense and surprise, full of explosions and hectic scenes of combat, but it blows a hole in the condescending assumption that such effects are just empty spectacle or mindless noise.

But when it comes down to it, does it matter what gender a film's director is? Is the fact that Bigelow is female giving critics, writers (and this blog) a "hook" for their stories? Is it fair to fair to remark on a female action/war movie director because it is, indeed, remarkable? Or should critics discuss Bigelow's work without obsessing over the fact that she's a woman (an "imperially slim" one)?

As The New York Times' Manohla Dargis put it in a feature on Bigelow from June 21:

The take on Kathryn Bigelow is that she is a great female director of muscular action movies, the kind with big guns, scenes, themes and camera movements as well as an occasional fist in the face, a knee to the groin. Sometimes, more simply, she's called a great female director. But here's a radical thought: She is, simply, a great filmmaker.

Box Office Weekend: Transformers Rule [Time]
Kathryn Bigelow Gets Columbia Honor [Variety]
Seeing Through Mr. Tough Guy [Washington Post]
"The Hurt Locker", Defusing Bombs At 115 Degrees [Salon]
The Best Action Film and the Woman Who Directed It [The Daily Beast]
Action!, Soldiers on a Live Wire Between Peril and Protocol [NY Times]
The Hurt Locker [Official Site]

Props to Jessica for bringing the guy home and making the first move and just generally being more entertaining than anyone else in this otherwise very lame episode. Although seeing Jason Stackhouse have homoerotic nightmares about a naked vamp in his bed and hearing the Reverend say, "Sarah doesn't whip out her pudding for just anybody" were also highlights. Still: Lafayette is not a vamp. Foaming-at-the-mouth Sookie is as annoying as naggy Sookie. And Maryann's Bacchanalia complete with pig, booze and gratuitous nudity was, in fact, boring. The only intrigue? The bullheaded-thing that scratched Sookie, and Jessica and Hoyt's budding romance (clip above).

• Grace Rwaramba, the former nanny who took care of Michael Jackson's children, says she often pumped the King of Pop's stomach:

"I had to pump his stomach many times. He always mixed so much [drugs]. There was one period that it was so bad that I didn't let the children see him. He always ate too little and mixed too much." Mallika Chopra, daughter of Michael Jackson's friend Deepak Chopra, has this to say: "Grace never pumped Michael's stomach. She has no idea how she would even do such a thing." [People]

• According to the autopsy reports, Michael Jackson weighed only 112 lbs. when he died, was almost totally bald, had needle marks on his body and had nothing but pills in his stomach. UPDATE: It's all lies. [Mirror, NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Just as you suspected: Debbie Rowe says she was artificially inseminated by an anonymous donor and Michael Jackson is not the biological father of his kids. She says: "I offered him my womb — it was a gift. It was something I did to keep him happy." UPDATE: The story at this link seems to have been taken down. Hmm. [News Of The World]
• Jackie, Jermaine and Tito Jackson visited Neverland Ranch over the weekend, walking the grounds and reminiscing. [Breitbart]
• Will there be a burial at Neverland? [NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's father, Joe Jackson, says that he doubts the upcoming concerts in London were a stress factor for Michael. [AP]
• Thomas Mesereau Jr., the lawyer who defended Michael Jackson in his child molestation trial, says that the star never fully recovered from being accused. Mesereau says he was the victim of mother-and-son con artists and "didn't really trust adults… He looked to children as the people who wouldn't hurt him." [USA Today]
• Michael Jackson's mother has chosen Michael's longtime attorney L. Londell McMillan as the lawyer to represent the family. [AP]
• Will there be a legal battle over Michael Jackson's kids and estate? [LA Times]
• The Jackson family is suspicious of Dr. Conrad Murray and the fact that he was trying to do CPR on a bed instead of the floor the day Michael Jackson died. [TMZ]
• A lawyer for Dr. Conrad Murray says his client never gave or prescribed Jackson the painkillers Demerol or OxyContin. [AP]
• The doctor also claims that when he found Michael Jackson, he wasn't breathing but had a faint pulse. [AP]
• In this video, Spike Lee, Lenny Kravitz, Clive Davis and others talk about Michael Jackson's music. [Time]
• In case you didn't see it over the weekend, here's the "special commemorative edition" of Time with Michael Jackson. [Time]
• A "secret library" of 100 Michael Jackson songs could be released soon. [Times Of London]
• "Bloodsuckers Positioning Themselves To Exploit Michael Jackson's Tragic Death." [NY Daily News]
• "What Michael Jackson Did On His Last Day." (Rehearse.) [Time]
• Michael Jackson's final, "electric" rehearsal may be released as an album. [NY Daily News]
• Janet Jackson made an emotional appearance at the BET awards last night. [AP, NY Daily News]
• Did LaToya Jackson go rummaging through Michael Jackson's house before he died, searching for hidden cash? [NY Post]
• At this link, you'll see some pictures of Michael Jackson and his kids you may not have seen before. He's been working on a song with them, according to a source. [People]
• A Michael Jackson tribute concert could happen in a few weeks. [MSNBC Scoop]
• At a Paul Smith runway show, the designer and his models came down the runway dancing to "Thriller." [WWD]
• No shit: "The death of American pop singer Michael Jackson is one of the top stories of the 21st century for mainstream and Internet media, language analysts said." [UPI]
• Um, this report claims that Michael Jackson's friend Bubbles the chimpanzee is "grieving" and could be coming out with a book: "Bubbles has led an interesting life. There's lots to say." [The Sun]
• The FAA is claiming that TV pitchman Billy Mays wasn't wearing a seat belt when he hit his head on a US Air flight yesterday before dying. [TMZ]
• Billy Mays had just signed a deal and was about to film commercials for Taco Bell. [TMZ
• Britney Spears is not dead, though a message saying so appeared on her Twitter account — it was hacked, as was Ellen DeGeneres'. People are sick. [Telegraph, AP]
• Breaking: Jennifer Aniston is "relaxed and friendly" on the set of Bounty Hunter, which she is filming with Gerard Butler. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio removed his Nike Dunks to enter a shrine in Kyoto last week, and some tourists stole his sneakers. [Page Six]
• The maternal grandmother of Mercy James, the little girl adopted by Madonna, says the child was supposed to be an an orphanage for six years and then be with the family… She claims Mercy was never supposed to adopted. [Telegraph]
• Bromance! Justin Timberlake and Prince Harry are new besties. [Gatecrasher]
• Kanye West and Amber Rose: So on! [Gatecrasher]
• Jonathan Murray, executive producer of The Real World, says TLC should keep the cameras rolling on Jon & Kate. "They have the opportunity to explore a situation facing a lot of American families when the parents get divorced. And it sounds like Jon and Kate have come up with a unique situation where they're going to take turns being in the house with the kids… You can explore what happens when a couple breaks up and how both are working hard to keep things as normal as possible for the kids." [USA Today]
• Kendra Wilkinson married NFL player Hank Baskett on Saturday night in a "lavish" ceremony at the Playboy Mansion. Congrats! [NY Daily News]
• Brüno was on a talk show with the Prime Minister of Australia over the weekend and hijinks ensued. [News.com.au]
• Lady GaGa was a no-show at a Take That concert in Manchester, UK. [Mirror]
• Lady GaGa will miss another Take That gig as she is "unwell" and resting "on doctor's orders." [BBC News]
• Lady GaGa's tour rider at Glastonbury was "bonkers," according to this paper: She asked for soft drinks, six kinds of vitamin water, non-smelly cheese, a roast chicken, deli meats, tuna, sofas, coffee tables and mirrors in her dressing room. Is that so odd? [The Sun]
• Russell Crowe left a £600 tip on a £240 pub bill in West Wales. [Mirror]
• NYC Transit Workers talk about stars who have gone to "track school" in order to shoot scenes in the subway: Nicolas Cage ("He was a nice man"), John Travolta, Angelina Jolie ("She was really down-to-earth"). [The New Yorker]
• Bones star Emily Deschanel is supporting The Great Ape Protection Act — which will phase out some experiments on chimpanzees — and asking politicians to do the same. [UPI]
• Vanessa Minnillo was seen grinding on the dancefloor and leaving a party with Topher Grace. [RadarOnline]
• Ricky Gervais has come out against bullfighting: "What is the pleasure in seeing an animal speared to death? Bullfighting needs to stop - it's so cruel." [Times Of London]
• Prepare yourself: A No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency cookbook, with recipes from Precious! [Telegraph]
• Amber Benson, aka Tara from Buffy, is a writer! Her new book, Death's Daughter, is about a fashionista who must travel through Hell itself to become the new Death and save her family. [NY Daily News]
• A famous photograph by Richard Avedon, depicting Nastassja Kinski and a snake, will be auctioned on Wednesday. It could be yours, if you've got £30,000! [Telegraph]
• Lookin' To Get Out — a Las Vegas comedy with a 5-year-old Angelina Jolie making her movie debut alongside Ann-Margaret — will be released on DVD tomorrow. [NY Post]
• Having trouble keeping Whitney Port's fake relationships straight? This might help. [Page Six]
• Elaine Stritch denies that she owes a writer money for helping her with a show; the writer is suing her. [UPI]
• "A blogger who wrote an internet article imagining the kidnap, rape and murder of the pop group Girls Aloud has been cleared of obscenity charges." [Telegraph]
• Blind item! "Which A-list actor has such a steamship-sized head that he needs to special-order his motorcycle helmets?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It's such a ludicrous concept, it is, that such different species as male and female can even cohabitate; it's wrong, just bloody well wrong. And yet it's what we're all raised to gravitate toward. It's a physical impossibility." — Gabrielle Anwar. [LA Times]
• "She's loving doing this music. It's a trip to watch. I have nothing to do with it, which is brilliant. She is just doing her thing, and it's really good. And everyone's chasing them to sign them. She's got great instincts. She's much smarter than I am." — Lenny Kravitz on daughter Zoe, who has a rock band called Elevator Fight. [People]