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Great news, people with weak stomachs! With Rick Santorum surging and frothing all over the polls and Americans wasting unprecedented amounts of brain energy to wipe the internet definition of "Santorum" from their brains, a new immature yet awesome poop-related neologism has been made out of the name of a Republican candidate. More »
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There's a new kind of dirty bomb we need to worry about while flying: poopy diapers. A Qantas plane was in mid-air between Darwin and Brisbane, Australia earlier this week when passengers began complaining that something smelled strange. Airline procedures dictate that the plane has to land ASAP when that happens, so they made an emergency stop in Mt. Isa. It was there that they determined the foul odor was coming from a dirty diaper that someone had thrown away in the bathroom nearest the cockpit. I shit you not. If making an emergency landing wasn't hassle enough, it then turned out that the Mt. Isa airport couldn't handle the large Boeing 767; so the passengers had to be removed from the plane using a forklift, which could only carry down five of them at a time. It took two hours to get everybody off the plane, and eventually a new plane took them to their destination. After that ordeal, the babies on that flight must have been getting some serious side eye. More »
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Mary has been living in filth for longer than her family can remember, and while they knew the conditions of her home were bad, they didn't know to what extent until the Hoarders cameras—along with a therapist—bravely entered the dwelling in hazmat suits. An owner of 15 cats, the house is literally covered in not only animal feces, but Mary's excrement as well, as she is incontinent and doesn't have running water in her home. The bathroom looks like someone painted every inch of surface space with runny shit and then let it crust over. During filming for this episode, Mary became violently ill from the fumes in the home and began going into respiratory failure. She had to be removed, through a window, by paramedics. Unsurprisingly, the county building inspector condemned the home. Do yourself a favor and don't eat Lean Cuisine Swedish meatballs while viewing this clip. It will totally change the way you view the brown sauce in a way that's irreversible. More »
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Three former students of Avon Grove High School in West Chest, PA were sentenced Monday to 22 months of probation and 200 hours of community service for recklessly endangering another person and conspiracy after admitting to Judge William Mahon that they frosted a cake with feces and gave it to a classmate, whose family subsequently fell ill probably sometime after asking one another, "Does this cake taste like poop to you?" More »
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You've seen it before: the brightly-colored cartoon diaper commercial featuring babies on stage in a competition, literally shitting themselves in hopes of winning first place. You know, the one that takes Tag Team's 90s anthem "Whoomp! There It Is" and defiles it with "Poop! There It Is"? If you have seen the calamity, you will understand exactly why it was voted worst American ad of the year. If not, well, sit back and enjoy the dirty glory that is this ad by Luvs. (For those curious how it's even possible that atrocious campaign by Summer's Eve didn't win top prize, know that it finished in third place, behind AT&T.) More »
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A typo can change everything: More »
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"I want to be as ubiquitous as toilet paper," Rob Bobinski recently told me. He's not talking about himself — he's talking about YouGoGirl, an in-toilet product he invented for women who are afraid of others smelling their poop. More »
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The bipolarity of Sammi and Ron's relationship has advanced to rapid cycling, with the couple deciding to reconcile and then breaking up all within the same episode. Or as JWoww so eloquently put it, "It's the same shit, different toilet with Sam and Ron." More »
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After a few weeks of anal fixation, last night's episode moved on to fecal matters. Unsurprisingly, this continued to involve Ronnie, who managed to make every bathroom in the house and the one at the Shore Store unusable, whether it was because he clogged the toilets with his massive animal shits or simply locked himself in the can to have a good cry. His bathroom habits were affecting the BMs of his roommates, contributing to Deena's constipation (I have a feeling that she has the common problem of not being able to go number two in public restrooms and the inability to use her toilet at home backed her up) and almost leading Snooki to crap herself while waiting for him to finish sobbing over Sammi. More »
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As we suspected, your worst travel stories involve far more than TSA pat-downs and long tarmac waits. Herewith, your tales of masturbation, voyeurism, and trombones in transit — just in time to make a run-of-the-mill holiday delay feel almost pleasant. More »
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Bubble, bubble, toilet trouble: Do you carry on personal discussions in the ladies' room? More »
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Since yesterday's gross stories were a big hit, we're offering up some more. A few also-rans, if you will. Disgusting stuff ahead! More »
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In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, the Sister Wives define the normalcy of their sex lives, Oprah has a crooked toe, and Tina Fey reveals who she thinks was the worst-ever host of SNL. More »
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For a study on the "effects of skin pressure," Japanese researchers had women weigh their own poop for three weeks. The finding: "The amount of feces was significantly smaller" when they defecated while wearing an underwire bra. Good to know! More »
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In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, a queef joke squeaks out on live TV, Bill Cosby claims he isn't dead, and Teresa Giudice gets grilled about her money problems on The View. More »
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This faux '80s instructional video explains how to overcome your fear of workplace defecation in eight easy steps. It's an important skill to master, since every time you use the toilet at work, you're essentially being paid to poop. More »
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This Hong Kong ad suggests that if you feed your child "Grandma's Turkey Dinner" organic baby food, its poop will smell like a meadow. That sounds about right, considering this field appears to be filled with livestock and manure. [Copyranter] More »
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on being a new mom. She also tells Now magazine: "I have to laugh at the parallels [to The Blind Side]. If you had told me that this would happen I would have thought you were insane." [Digital Spy] More »
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• Caster Semenya could return to races in less than a month, according to South Africa's sports minister. Last September, Makhenkesi Stofile declared there would be a "third World War" if Semenya was kept from competing because of her sex. More »
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• Today in irony: Nadya Suleman — she of the eight babies — is being paid by PETA to advertise their spay and neuter campaign on her front door. More »
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Some 33 years after Elvis's death, his personal doctor has continued the search for insight into the King's untimely demise. And he's found answers...in Elvis's colon. Let what follows serve as a warning to us all. More »
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This comparison what ladies versus gents need in order to move their bowels is relatively accurate, though I'd add two other items to the guys' must-have checklist: Reading material, and a spare 45 minutes. (Click to enlarge.) [Maxim] More »
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"I like to smoke while I defecate in the morning," Christopher Long, 31, told a New York court on Tuesday. Long was testifying against a cop who, in his words: "managed to halt my inertia and change my vector." [NYPost] More »
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Apparently in the Russian version of the fairy tale, Cinderella doesn't forget her glass slipper at the ball, and the prince leaves a nasty little surprise on Cinderella's lawn. Who knew Mr. Hankey got his start in foreign films? [Buzzfeed] More »
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Yesterday, I made a confession: I have traveler's constipation. And when I get on a plane to see my long-distance boyfriend, I get so backed-up that I end up not letting him touch me. Thankfully, there's someone else who will. More »
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In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, we celebrate Real Housewives week on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, Snoop Dogg returns to One Life to Live, and vaginas make an appearance on Rachael Ray. More »
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It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the biweekly "advice" column in which we attempt to solve everyone's problems with an herbal remedy. More »
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Regular diapers can take care of babies' number ones and number twos, but the Australian ad at left claims only BabyLoves diapers, "can handle a 'poop explosion,' or 'number threes' as we politely call it." [AdWeek via Jalopnik] More »
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In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, "Balloon Boy" farts, Tyra curses, Michael Lohan goes on Maury, and Jon Gosselin says he won't get Botox... because he's Asian-American. More »
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Terrence Howard is notoriously anal (and oddly vocal) about how his girlfriends clean their butts after they poop. So it makes sense that he was spotted in this billboard PSA about personal hygiene. (Click image to view full size.) [BWE] More »
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A series of teen pregnancy ads in Milwaukee appeal to the immaturity of your average teen by warning them that babies are stinky! The "scratch-n-sniff" posters don't actually smell like shit, but the message is still pretty clear. [AdFreak] More »
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This week's multimedia compilation of pop culture crap features stupid idiots, Steven Seagal, wigs on dogs, and Models of the Runway. More »
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Does this remind anyone of a certain children's book? "I wrote before that Japanese people have a poop obsession. We love anthropomorphizing poop into a kind of character mascot." Love! Also: Can someone translate? [Watashi To Tokyo, via Global Voices] More »
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Blame the hemorrhoids conversation and comments posted yesterday: Last night I had a long, extremely vivid dream about taking a shit. Luckily, there's a story in today's New York Times about dreams and their meaning. More »
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Did you catch the Target Women Super Special yesterday? At minute 9:04, Sarah Haskins mentions Jez commenters, regarding a poop segment. Then she "snorts" some "coke." [Current] More »
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If you've seen her videos mocking birth control, cleaning products, or products that make you poop, then you already know that Current TV star Sarah Haskins is very, very funny. But did you also know that the Harvard grad and self-described nerd loves both Gossip Girl and Joan Didion? Or that she wouldn't mind being the President Of France? I conducted an internet chat with the breakout star of Current TV's infoMania; the fun begins after the jump. More »
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Vaginas are confusing, even for those of us who have them. There's so much going on that we can't see…actually, there's so much going on period. And speaking of periods, that's an entire category of vaginal confusion. Sure we know the ABCs, and we certainly know more than most of the people who watch Tyra (or maybe even Tyra herself), but there are more specific inquiries—taboo ones that involve poop and ejaculate—that we can't really find in books or on Wikipedia, and that we don't want to ask our moms about, for fear that she'd die of a different kind of toxic shock. But maybe we can answer each others' gross questions based on personal experience. We get the party started with three of our own questions regarding tampons. More »
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• A suburb of Tel Aviv will use DNA found in dog poop will reward and punish dog owners who properly (or improperly) dispose of their pup's droppings on the street. • Meet 5 "Fiesty" Presidential Daughters, including Margaret Truman Daniel (President Truman's daughter) who co-hosted a radio program with Mike Wallace, and Elizabeth Harrison Walker (President Harrison's daughter) who wrote a monthly newsletter about financial advice for women.• An artist from Virginia Beach known as the "Lint Lady" makes pictures of realistic objects using layers of dryer lint that range from $20 to $3,500 each. • More »
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I'm leaving tonight to go on vacation. I'm taking a road trip to Tennessee and staying in a log cabin in the Smoky Mountains, going to Dollywood (Dolly is gonna be performing there!), and then onto Memphis. I'm going with my new boyfriend, whom I've only been seeing for about a month and a half. Things moved super quickly for us, and this is the fastest (and maybe only the second or third) time I've ever traveled with a boyfriend on vacation. Here's the thing: I'm freaking out about my poop. I have poop problems that I've documented here before. It's difficult enough for me to stay regular in the comforts of my own home, but when I'm in a foreign environment I become instantly and seriously constipated. On my last vacation I didn't go for eight days straight. And since I'm gonna be swimming in a heart-shaped pool at the Heartbreak Hotel in Memphis and lounging in a hot tub in Pigeon Forge, I really, really don't want to look bloated in a bikini. More »
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It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the "advice" column in which we attempt to solve everyone's problems with an herbal remedy. (Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, Rich helps me answer questions about constipation, cross-dressers, and single dads. Got a burning question? Send it to potpsych@jezebel.com. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.) More »
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