Screenshot via Kohls, no offense to Kohls!!!

All around me, I see the same patterns. A chevron here, a clunky lattice or Moroccan trellis there. The world, it seems, has shrunk into a flat amalgam of inoffensive soft-toned rugs. And while I really hate to cause drama, I’m here to say that it needs to stop.

In the process of getting ready to move to a new apartment recently, I was somewhat surprised to cross paths with a number of chevron rugs; four years ago, the last time I was rug hunting, similar patterns were clogging up my limited and overpriced options. I can’t say for sure what it is about these goddamn zigzags that has given them such exhausting longevity in the market, but if I had to guess, I would assume it is because they go with pretty much anything: chevron, and patterns like it, provide an ostensibly interesting but manageable “base” on which to build a cohesive interior.

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(Popular patterns are also often the most affordable, of course. If you’re on a tight budget and a chevron print rug is the least hideous thing you can find, then by all means, get the dang chevron. I’m not mad at you.)

The chevron pattern itself isn’t exactly terrible, it’s just that once every single store sells it and seemingly every other home has one and Stassi Schroeder from Vanderpump Rules has hand-painted multiple pieces of chevron wall art to complement her chevron rug, it no longer serves its purpose, which I assume is to add some element of “zest” and “modernity” to the home.

Overstock.com appears to disagree. “Chevron zig-zag patterns are an extremely popular area rug design option for homes that feature modern and contemporary decor,” the website explains. Then: “For a chic, modern look, consider pairing your chevron rug pattern with a glass and wrought-iron coffee table and a sleek, white, or black leather sectional sofa.” I would never want to question the integrity of Overstock.com, where I purchased my favorite lamp, but I strongly object to this statement. For a chic, modern look, one might consider buying literally any other kind of rug.

Except this one:

Screenshot via TheMine.com.

Okay, sorry, you can’t have this one either:

Screenshot via Pottery Barn.

Unless you are living inside a low-budget replica of La Alhambra circa 1300 AD, this look is not going to take you or your interiors anywhere interesting or chic. I’m sorry!

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That’s not to say I’m innocent here. I’ve never had a chevron rug, but during my freshman year in college, I did buy a large black shag rug, which is an arguably worse and definitely more aggressive choice that had the particularly disgusting drawback of being impossible to clean. And I’ll concede that it’s hard, in general, to care about something so minor as a rug pattern when the average person is busy and stressed and much more interested in, say, living their life.

But I have to beg you anyway: please stop buying these stupid rugs. Let’s end the great chevron interior monopoly once and for all, because your living room should not look exactly like your coworker’s living room. Don’t give up on your floors, okay? Don’t give up on yourself.