But not better than Highlights.
Goofus OR Gallant would kick this post's ass. ;)
That's exactly what I was expecting too.
In case anyone's wondering, I did just check the calendar and, no, the date is not April 1st...
To me, it's the literary approximation of poking through a pile of a bulimic's vomit to see what they ate.
That's one thing that bothers me.
But also: 'poetic' does not simply mean 'flawed prose'. This is some gross Dr. Moreau-eque abomination/hybrid that certainly doesn't make me want to read this author's debut novel.
Sentence fragments ≠Poetry
Hey, Jezebel,
If I want to read random strangers' Facebook status updates, I'll go to Facebook.
(I'm sorry, I'm usually not this negative, but this? I don't even...)
'Nuff said...
Stupid Hollywood!
What will they remake next?
Oh, Erin... I wish I could go over your articles before you publish to make sure you don't accidentally print things like this:
In the days since Komen announced they'd no longer be providing support to Planned Parenthood, the family planning provider has made out like a bandit, Komen's been left with egg on its face...
Mentioning Planned Parenthood and the phrase 'egg on your face' in the same sentence is... unfortunate.
I don't know...
I kinda like my Tramp stamp.
Sometimes it's appropriate...
I like the rejected titles more:
Dude, Where's My Pants?
Jeggings Shore
Chinos and the Man
Khaki Races (featuring Penelope Pitstop!)
The Young and the Pantsless
Days of Our Levi's
and, my favorite,
Flight of the Corduroys
Pledge Sues Sorority for Making Her Pee Her Pants
In related news, I'm currently finishing up the paperwork to proceed with my lawsuit against the co-defendants of 7-11 Super Big Gulps and long road trips.
P.S. This:
pouring tea leaves all over her.
is NOT hazing.
It's a really incompetent fortuneteller.
I want to read this post, but I just can't think over the deafening sound of horse hooves...
You could start a program very similar to the ones music fans used to have for tape sharing (Tapes: Remember Them?!?):
Send me two pairs of panties.
I wear one and send them back.
I keep the other pair.
It's sort of like an underwear co-op- locally-sourced, of course!
Surely, your lyrical abilities help you to stand head and shoulders above the crowd...
It makes a lot more sense when you consider the tagline with which these guns are promoted:
Guns don't kill people.
Breast cancer kills people.
The Susan G. Komen Foundation: Half-Cocked and Off-Target
Though only Gisele grew up in a foreign country, both claim to have learned English from watching Perfect Strangers episodes.
Don't be re-dic-a-loose!
Kids:
They Know Nothing!
Supposedly, balding runs in his family, and the procedures are prophylactic in nature.
Not sure how this helps prevent balding, but...
Don't like it that your boyfriend gets into fights at the bar? Just flip the switch.
Ew. Ew. Ew.
The idea of governing someone else's behavior through genetic manipulation?
Even the concept presented in jest is repulsive.
Don't like it that your boyfriend gets into fights at the bar? Get a new boyfriend!
