@Residentdrunkgirl: UGH. I'm so sorry!
A few weeks ago, I found out that my library has an internet help desk that connects you directly to a librarian. So, I, uh, complained about a group of people who were talking loudly, and a librarian came and shut them up for me. They never knew who complained.
#groupthink
A few weeks ago, I found out that my library has an internet help desk that connects you directly to a librarian. So, I, uh, complained about a group of people who were talking loudly, and a librarian came and shut them up for me. They never knew who complained.
#groupthink
@ConfettiInMyHair: Prolonged exposure may result in the ability to write accurate biographies of complete strangers.
#groupthink
#groupthink
@loveyh1: Hah, appreciated. I know how people can get around here.
@loveyh1: From what I hear, there's a fair bit of poop involved in the birthing process, too.
I wish I could get paid to write the book on "Fundamental ("Scientifically" Tested!) Universal Truths of Conservatives".
Sections include:
-Anal sex: If it sounds smelly, it's never going to be fun
-Ladies Are Just Walking Public Uteruses!
-The Sky is Actually Varying Shades of Red and Green
-Feminism Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means, Liberal Activists
Sections include:
-Anal sex: If it sounds smelly, it's never going to be fun
-Ladies Are Just Walking Public Uteruses!
-The Sky is Actually Varying Shades of Red and Green
-Feminism Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means, Liberal Activists
@DeccaLeChat: I'm not trying to ~magic~ any kind of education into you. You've made it clear that through your age and life experience that you're not open to any kind of new discourses that have been made about this subject.
Can you tell me what kind of conversation you'd like to have? There's generally three kinds of discussions white people have when talking about racism, and not many of them are particularly useful.
Do you want to take the "Me too!" approach, where a white person shares their experiences with prejudice? Because that's not the same thing as racism (prejudice + power).
Or, would you like to explain away the experiences that someone is sharing? That happens a lot, too. These two kinds of conversation aren't particularly useful, especially when, well, white people tend to dominate every kind of conversation.
Or, maybe, you would you like to listen? Would you like to find out about the experiences that oppressed people are going through, and have that help shape how you handle yourself in the future?
Not all dialogues need to be built on equal participation- and honestly, the conversation of oppression needs to be built and directed by those who are affected the most.
Can you tell me what kind of conversation you'd like to have? There's generally three kinds of discussions white people have when talking about racism, and not many of them are particularly useful.
Do you want to take the "Me too!" approach, where a white person shares their experiences with prejudice? Because that's not the same thing as racism (prejudice + power).
Or, would you like to explain away the experiences that someone is sharing? That happens a lot, too. These two kinds of conversation aren't particularly useful, especially when, well, white people tend to dominate every kind of conversation.
Or, maybe, you would you like to listen? Would you like to find out about the experiences that oppressed people are going through, and have that help shape how you handle yourself in the future?
Not all dialogues need to be built on equal participation- and honestly, the conversation of oppression needs to be built and directed by those who are affected the most.
@DeccaLeChat: this is probably the best place to start with this, followed by the category directly beneath it.
Also, this is very useful, too.
Also, this is very useful, too.
@stoprobbers: I re-read my comment and realized that yes, I published too soon, and it's far too late for me to go back and re-edit my post, so I'm going to clarify.
Please stop telling me what you perceive the perspective of a "gay white man" is- this is the position I'm writing from. I understand the oppression he's facing. I live it every day. When I wrote my comments before, I was referencing the power granted to him in every social situation before he opens his mouth. Until he discloses his orientation, this world assumes he's heterosexual.
The big difference between the writer of this article and myself is that he's the editor-in-chief of a blog whose mission statement makes claims to write from outside the framework of the "white male culture" that's defined the GBLT community so far, but he's revealed his inability to interrogate any kind of experience outside of his white cisgender world by becoming defensive to accusations of racism and by not learning enough to "cover his ass" when it comes to transgender issues. That's a problem.
When he went to the conference on sexual freedom and was confronted with a challenge to the social power he holds, instead of thinking "Yes, being a white man is problematic, and being here, I'm glad to be learning how to negotiate my power," he focussed on how he's not like that, he's different, and his social power isn't really his problem.
That's my issue.
He had the ability to shut up and listen to the experiences of people with less social power than his own- and as the EIC of a blog that's supposedly created to challenge those norms, he should be able to understand the legitimate issues that were presented to him, and work on ways of using his social power to help dismantle the existing system.
Instead, he listened to the stories of the oppressed and asked, "How does this relate to me?" which is exactly not the point. He writes about how nobody is looking at him and evaluating the choices he's made in his life. The person that he is and the social power that he holds are two very different things, but he refuses to separate his identity with his being.
There's a power dynamic that you're ignoring in the case of his trans* "friends"- when he calls them up to get a quick lesson on his perspective, he's doing it so that he can get paid. That's not based on a friendship of equals, it's just harvesting information from an oppressed group when it's convenient. There's a lot of transphobia in the queer community, and a lot of room for education. He uses this lack of education as a way of preventing himself from ever writing on the subject, in case he "offends"- though, if he offended, I'm sure he'd learn the language and the nuance pretty damn quickly.
I'm glad you got something out of this article, but I fear it might be the wrong thing. Rosen takes pride in his ignorance and his inability to question the world from a different perspective; he internalizes his social position instead of using his social power and place in the media to actually facilitate change.
Please stop telling me what you perceive the perspective of a "gay white man" is- this is the position I'm writing from. I understand the oppression he's facing. I live it every day. When I wrote my comments before, I was referencing the power granted to him in every social situation before he opens his mouth. Until he discloses his orientation, this world assumes he's heterosexual.
The big difference between the writer of this article and myself is that he's the editor-in-chief of a blog whose mission statement makes claims to write from outside the framework of the "white male culture" that's defined the GBLT community so far, but he's revealed his inability to interrogate any kind of experience outside of his white cisgender world by becoming defensive to accusations of racism and by not learning enough to "cover his ass" when it comes to transgender issues. That's a problem.
When he went to the conference on sexual freedom and was confronted with a challenge to the social power he holds, instead of thinking "Yes, being a white man is problematic, and being here, I'm glad to be learning how to negotiate my power," he focussed on how he's not like that, he's different, and his social power isn't really his problem.
That's my issue.
He had the ability to shut up and listen to the experiences of people with less social power than his own- and as the EIC of a blog that's supposedly created to challenge those norms, he should be able to understand the legitimate issues that were presented to him, and work on ways of using his social power to help dismantle the existing system.
Instead, he listened to the stories of the oppressed and asked, "How does this relate to me?" which is exactly not the point. He writes about how nobody is looking at him and evaluating the choices he's made in his life. The person that he is and the social power that he holds are two very different things, but he refuses to separate his identity with his being.
There's a power dynamic that you're ignoring in the case of his trans* "friends"- when he calls them up to get a quick lesson on his perspective, he's doing it so that he can get paid. That's not based on a friendship of equals, it's just harvesting information from an oppressed group when it's convenient. There's a lot of transphobia in the queer community, and a lot of room for education. He uses this lack of education as a way of preventing himself from ever writing on the subject, in case he "offends"- though, if he offended, I'm sure he'd learn the language and the nuance pretty damn quickly.
I'm glad you got something out of this article, but I fear it might be the wrong thing. Rosen takes pride in his ignorance and his inability to question the world from a different perspective; he internalizes his social position instead of using his social power and place in the media to actually facilitate change.
@stoprobbers: When one of my friends asks me about my experiences as a gay man in North America at a fundamentally basic level, I have to take some time and think: How much time do I have to invest in this person's knowledge? How many forms of prejudice do I have to break down? How much language will I have to clarify? How much of my history and my safety do I have to put on the line in order to make sure they "adequately" understand the subject?
And then I have to figure out how it will fit into my life. Does this conversation come before the readings I have to do for school? Is this person's growth more important than the rest of my life? How much sleep did I get- because that will seriously affect my ability to communicate adequately. Will this make me late for work?
Or, can I refer them to an established resource that will effectively everything I'd like to have the time and patience to do, just to make sure they're on some level that I can work from.
These questions aren't invalid, but the idea that my time is best used as a learning resource for privileged people to utilize at their leisure- that's an oppressive fucking way of looking at the lives of marginalized people.
He's looking at issues of race and inequality from his perspective of guilt, and not from the experience of those who are actually oppressed. This isn't about him. If he wants to learn, and if he's going to place himself in positions where he's able to listen to the experiences of people who are actually being oppressed, he needs to sit down, shut the fuck up, and make an actual effort to learn a thing or two- especially from someone else's perspective. Otherwise, he's just wasting everyone's time.
And then I have to figure out how it will fit into my life. Does this conversation come before the readings I have to do for school? Is this person's growth more important than the rest of my life? How much sleep did I get- because that will seriously affect my ability to communicate adequately. Will this make me late for work?
Or, can I refer them to an established resource that will effectively everything I'd like to have the time and patience to do, just to make sure they're on some level that I can work from.
These questions aren't invalid, but the idea that my time is best used as a learning resource for privileged people to utilize at their leisure- that's an oppressive fucking way of looking at the lives of marginalized people.
He's looking at issues of race and inequality from his perspective of guilt, and not from the experience of those who are actually oppressed. This isn't about him. If he wants to learn, and if he's going to place himself in positions where he's able to listen to the experiences of people who are actually being oppressed, he needs to sit down, shut the fuck up, and make an actual effort to learn a thing or two- especially from someone else's perspective. Otherwise, he's just wasting everyone's time.
@stoprobbers: I'm not going to congratulate you on your determined quest to examine the experiences of the oppressed on your terms. There's a lot of people saying incredible things about the guilt he's feeling, and why it's ridiculous, selfish, and derailing.
A nice video about it here: [jezebel.com]
[jezebel.com]
But especially this: [jezebel.com]
A nice video about it here: [jezebel.com]
[jezebel.com]
But especially this: [jezebel.com]
@stoprobbers: Really? I see more people piling on him for his deliberate ignorance. His ignorance is too special for him to read the theory and the works specifically created to help people understand and negotiate his power and privilege, and he's going to make it someone else's problem until his needs are satisfied.
I have many more issues with this piece, but I'm not sure I'll do a very good job of explaining it. The discussion he wants to have about race is very specifically about his experiences as a white man. Sometimes, and especially in this case, it's just better to sit back and listen.
I have many more issues with this piece, but I'm not sure I'll do a very good job of explaining it. The discussion he wants to have about race is very specifically about his experiences as a white man. Sometimes, and especially in this case, it's just better to sit back and listen.
I just. I can't.
"I have privilege and I don't want to learn how to negotiate it, and I don't want to interrogate my own biases or viewpoints" isn't very interesting- it's just a shallow look into some dude's attempt to distract from the fact he's too lazy to challenge himself/his comfortable lifestyle, and that's he's unwilling to try.
"I have privilege and I don't want to learn how to negotiate it, and I don't want to interrogate my own biases or viewpoints" isn't very interesting- it's just a shallow look into some dude's attempt to distract from the fact he's too lazy to challenge himself/his comfortable lifestyle, and that's he's unwilling to try.
@whormongr: I'm beginning to suspect it was a bad batch made at a specific time.
The specs sound very nice, but in practice- not so much. I don't trust Kodak after my experience with the first version of this camera. I had the original PlaySport for five days- on the fourth, I took it to a pool and tried it out underwater. The fifth day, it stopped working entirely. Seems I wasn't the only one- lots of people on amazon reported similar, if not identical issues. MSRP dropped $40 between my original purchase date in June and the end of summer, so I suspect it was pretty widespread.
The kicker was when they told me to pay for shipping to have it fixed.
Anyway- hold off on buying it for a couple months. Let's wait to see if they can actually build a waterproof camera worth people's time.
The kicker was when they told me to pay for shipping to have it fixed.
Anyway- hold off on buying it for a couple months. Let's wait to see if they can actually build a waterproof camera worth people's time.
@Kemperboyd: Sounds like the new site is coming out tomorrow, so the tech issues are gearing up for that. Ugh.
#groupthink
#groupthink
@kittyclaws: It's not your responsibility to get her help- it sounds like she's going to keep spiralling and doing unreasonable things until she traps herself in her lies.
What's the most drama-free method of removing yourself from her life? I would advise against talking to her directly about it- that'll draw a lot of attention to yourself. If she's selfish and ridiculous, then she won't care about how she's treating you- the problem, obviously, is your lack of understanding her needs.
Find a way to step back and slip away, so that she has other people to involve in her tiresome grasp: Be unavailable, physically and emotionally. If she calls, speak briefly and tell her that you're in the middle of something and you'll call her back when you're free (or, you know, ready to be involved in this tiresome drama, which is hopefully never). If you run into her on the street, take an important phone call or smile, nod- maybe make brief conversation, but keep moving.
She'll notice that you're moving away, and she'll probably ask about it- apologize for your busy life, wish her well, and move away.
I think, most importantly: Get yourself in a position, emotionally and mentally, where you don't need this kind of "friendship" in your life. If there's no power imbalance or way for her to influence your peer group, that's the ideal.
I might just be super heartless.
#groupthink
What's the most drama-free method of removing yourself from her life? I would advise against talking to her directly about it- that'll draw a lot of attention to yourself. If she's selfish and ridiculous, then she won't care about how she's treating you- the problem, obviously, is your lack of understanding her needs.
Find a way to step back and slip away, so that she has other people to involve in her tiresome grasp: Be unavailable, physically and emotionally. If she calls, speak briefly and tell her that you're in the middle of something and you'll call her back when you're free (or, you know, ready to be involved in this tiresome drama, which is hopefully never). If you run into her on the street, take an important phone call or smile, nod- maybe make brief conversation, but keep moving.
She'll notice that you're moving away, and she'll probably ask about it- apologize for your busy life, wish her well, and move away.
I think, most importantly: Get yourself in a position, emotionally and mentally, where you don't need this kind of "friendship" in your life. If there's no power imbalance or way for her to influence your peer group, that's the ideal.
I might just be super heartless.
#groupthink
@AwkwardAlley: Hold out until she runs like a muppet with a knife. That's when the movie turns around.
#groupthink
#groupthink
@cosmic_love: The i3 processor is pretty new- I think they were released in January of this year. It really sounds as though your computer will run this pretty well.
#groupthink
#groupthink
@CapitaineJolie: So you say you recognize your privilege, and yet still say things like that? Your guilt is justified. You're a smart commenter- and I imagine, a smart person- so it might have just been an off day. Be gentle with yourself, but be firm: don't accept this crap from yourself.
#groupthink
#groupthink
@LeyliMajnoun: Whatever you do, make sure you re-package it to an abnormally large box.
#groupthink
#groupthink
