Yeah, thank you. I thought the guy's responses were really thoughtful and sensitive actually. Most of them seemed not to care.
It's like if some guys asked ladies if we prefer cut or uncut. I'd probably say "Well I don't really care, but if I had to choose a preference... [blank]." Just because I'm stating a preference doesn't mean I'm imposing it on anyone or expect my partners to comply with it... Nothing wrong with stating your preference, especially when asked specifically!
I mean, they were only stating their preferences because that's the question this article posed to them, and that question came by (female) reader request...
For me it's a lashing-out type of reaction to the perceived unfair societal pressure that if I don't maintain down there then I'm gross and unsexy. But it's an unfair reaction, you're right, and I try not to make that association anymore.
My husband wipes me down... it's rather nice and considerate! :)
Great idea! Let's roll back human history and start over and let the apes develop society and culture from scratch!
(Reviews all the wars humans have had historically and how far we've actually come in terms of society, culture, quality of life, length of life, the environment, democracy, equality, etc.)
Oh wait... might not want to go back to the ape Middle Ages. Don't know about you but I enjoy living beyond the age of 30 and having modern plumbing and stuff like that. :P
Actually wouldn't Murphy's law stipulate that it would NEVER rain when you carried an umbrella? (Or always rain when you're NOT carrying an umbrella?)
Or am I missing some sarcasm here? :)
P.S. @Tirannie LOVE the term anecdata! Hilarious! Here's hoping the birth control attracts some sex for you soon... ;)
Nope, just aware of the complexities of these issues. :)
The same people who are commenting on other people's tattoos and collars aren't necessarily the same person who wrote this article, are they? Aren't differing opinions allowed within a community? Maybe this article was a response to those haters to illustrate how that kind of superficial judgement is hurtful.
Or you know, maybe Jezebel doesn't feel a need to police their post and comments to ensure that they're always expressing the same homogenous ideologies or points of views... maybe they allow their writers and commenters to express differing and conflicting opinions.
I use IM for work all the time. Don't really have these issues, but maybe our work cultures are different. I tend to be very informal in IM, and much more formal in email (because emails are what get forwarded around here to stab you in the back if you say anything "wrong").
Even though technically IMs are archived and can be forwarded around too, I've never seen anyone here actually do it. So I keep in mind I shouldn't say anything too wrong, but that it's unlikely anyone would do so. So I actually pick my medium to convey certain messages based upon whether I think someone will stab me in the back (aka "escalate") with what I'm saying, lol. Phone or in person (privately) if I REALLY want to cover my tracks. But usually IM is fine for me to sort of "be real" with one of my clients/account managers without worrying too much whether they'll be forwarding that to my manager and my manager's manager and their manager and the frickin' CEO.
...god this place sucks... lol. :P
Good point! I almost clicked on a friend's link in Facebook the other day but something seemed fishy. I sent a quick comment asking about it and she affirmed it was indeed spam/sketchy (though why she had left it up on her Wall still was beyond me...)
I agree with you, but for most of the people I do this with I have already well established this format of chatting with them. I think the advice in this article more applies to IMs with people who you haven't established such a format with...
Ugh my grammar sucks in that sentence. Please be kind and ignore that, thanks, lol. ;)
Ah ok! That makes sense. Consent is key. Thanks flaky! :)
Damn it! Fine... she probably wouldn't tell me anyway, she's good like that... :P
Here's a sincere question. I love the stories from this article, and think it's important to share this type of knowledge with the general public. HOWEVER, there's the obvious ethical quandary and concern over how these patients would feel if they read this article. So my question is...
Is it possible for there to be a situation where a therapist COULD ethically distribute these types of patient stories to the general public?
Like, after the therapist has retired and years after they'd stopped seeing the patient, or... what?
Right now my guess is no, it's not ethically possible. And that makes me sad that I won't get to read stories like this anymore. Luckily my MIL was a family therapist, I'll have to dig for stories next time I see her... ;) (What, she'll only be telling ME, not Gawker!!) ;)
OH! Hahahaha! :) Thanks for clarifying. :)
I agree, but I think the issue here is trying to force those alterations through authority rather than letting it occur organically and per individual choice.
Just seeing an alternative to their culture and experiencing it and understanding the consequences is enough to let those so-inclined rebel against the Muslim culture and burqas and face coverings. But legalizing it will have the opposite effect- now it will be a symbol of repression and rebellion and will most likely cause the fundamentalists to dig in further against this attack on their values.
LOL!! "She just might think men are incompetent in general" Good point!!! ;) But yes, you're right it's a little extreme to pull the pedophile card. There are plenty of things to make a parent uncomfortable besides that.
I guess people are taking offense because it seems like "divorced dad" are the only qualifiers causing this woman discomfort, when we all know plenty of trustworthy and competent divorced dads. But like everyone has said, if she's uncomfortable for that reason maybe the best method is to get to the know the divorced dad better rather than decline the sleepover. But who knows if she has time for that or if it's even an option.
Sounds like she was measured and rational in her cautiousness then, and not just afraid of everything (which was the extreme I was imagining). Guess it depends how you go about it and sounds like she went about it in the right way for you and your sister. Cheers! :)
Wow! I'm sure that had some effect, but to be fair allergies are weird and not very well understood and can mysteriously come and go for no apparent reason. But still, pretty extreme difference, and everyone's stress expresses itself in their own unique "weak" points... I'm glad she got better. :)
I could be wrong, but I don't think sleepovers typically happen until at least around 7, 8 years old, at which point kids are definitely old enough to be handling their own bedtime routines like brushing and changing into PJs.
