Greetings:

I just joined Jezebel, seconds ago, specifically so that I could write to you and thank you for your contributions to the Helen Mirren thread. I just read the whole comments thread.

What happened to you in that arena was, IMHO, disgraceful.

I'd like to be as fair-minded and calm as Kansasgirl (I think that's her name), who was so good about seeing how the communication got out of control.

I'd like to be charitable, to say that rape is a very sensitive subject and--not to imply anything demeaning or any weakness about them--that women who have been raped are perhaps quick to perceive a further attack where such an attack is not happening.

Instead, or in addition to these more virtuous feelings, I'm feeling really pissed off at what I suspect might be a cultural shift that has surpassed any regard for logic or reason.

"You're a victim if you think you're a victim," someone who has come to accept this shift might say. The corollary: For there to be a victim, there must also be a perpetrator.

What I saw on the Comments thread were people who perceived themselves to be victimized--by you. Therefore, they were victims. Therefore--by this "logic"--you were a perpetrator, whatever your intent. You violated them with your words.

I'm sorry, but that's bullshit. I think you know that, but I just wanted to back you up on that.

I'm not a mental health professional (just a customer!), but from what I could see, you expressed yourself in a clear and thoughtful manner, addressing some complex and painful personal issues. You didn't sound to me like someone who hadn't "processed" the event.

Yet you were told that you were belaboring the point of there being false reports (you raised it, I think, but I didn't see you belaboring it), that you were somehow attacking other people (because some perhaps vulnerable people wrote private messages to other people that they were hurt), and that you should seek counseling for your failure to understand the whole situation.

Look, I've got a sexual history straight out of '50s TV, and even I know that sexual communication is a complex business. That's what Mirren was saying (in part). That's what you were saying.

I hope you can rise above this. Not your disturbing, not-quite-consensual, probably legally actionable experience, but the ridiculous lack of generosity, brains, and inability to transcend dogmatism that you experienced on Jezebel.

I say this as a feminist, as a liberal, as a pacifist, as someone who hates to sneer about "political correctness"...I fear that every unfair stereotype of humorless, dependent, week, overemotional, passive-aggressive femininity is being played out on Jezebel, for the schadenfreude and ugly amusement of much of the rest of the Gawker crowd.

Sorry. I'm going on too long here. I just want you to know that you made me think about a lot of things, and that's refreshing. Have a great life and take care.

Have a great trip - and don't drink the water without boiling it first.

Nasty Girls! Dance! Dance! Dance!

Is it just me or have things taken a decidedly childish and negative turn around here lately?

Welcome to The Jez, it's a fun place! Thanks for following my comments!

you said "pizza flavored Combo". I would like to make you my lesbian wife.