I was yelling at the television when the reporter was asking about "the children" and the mother said she missed them terribly. When he asked if young girls were forced into marriage, the mother, her eyes almost glowing, said that if her daughter wanted to experience that type of love, she wouldn't stand in the way. I was shouting "14 is still a child!", hoping that maybe she could hear me and come to her senses. With the way Momma's eyes were glowing, she is communicating in some sort of other-worldly fashion already.
Turbo Tax is your friend. Use it, pay the extra fee for the enhanced version, suck it up and get it done. time's a wastin. (She said with a smug smile, having finished her turbo taxes in February)
I live in a reasonably small town. Less than half a million people, anyway. I believe in God. I beleive in my gun, and if a bad guy breaks down my door, he's gonna believe, too. I'm not bitter. Except when someone thinks I'm stupid because I happen to have a faith that comforts me, and a weapon that protects me.
@flyoverstate: That last sentence sounded annoyingly smug on the re-read. I meant something along the lines of the second time around I didn't settle, because I would have been happier single than married and miserable. I had been there, done that. When the right one did come along, he was enough to make me re-think my "single for life" status. I'm happily married now, and truly think I will be for the rest of my life. But if I had not found this one man, after being very desperately unhappily married, I would have been very happily single for the rest of my life.
@dictator4life1: My parents, grandparents, and husband's parents were the same way. Married young, kids young, still together after decades, holding hands, and practically glowing with happiness. I think if you don't set your sights high, you will be disappointed. Not unrealistic, mind you. You are not Cinderella, and Prince Charming most definitely does not exist, except in fairy tales. But in my (probably much older than you) experience, people that settle end up regretting it. I screwed up the first time, at 19, because I thought he was Prince Charming. I waited the second time, completely happy being single and determined not to make a second mistake. I was almost 30, but this time, We are going to be the ones holding hands into our sixties and beyond, and our child is going to be looking for a relationship like mom and dads.
Crocs are ugly, my cell phone does not wear shoes, but..."Croc O Dial" is a cute name for what it is.
Not to throw cold water on your glee, but ummm...
Ahem. Botox does more than wipe out wrinkles. For some of us with brain gremlins, Botox is a miracle. I'm one of them. Botox, that wonderful little poison, kills nerve endings. That means that every eight weeks, needles go into my brain, and I look forward to it. Because for the next month, my pain levels are dramatically decreased, because the nerves that cause me to feel pain are paralyzed. They come back to life, eventually, but then I willingly lay on a table, and willingly let 22 little needles, filled with what feels like burning gasoline, get injected all over my scalp and neck.
It is one of the very few things that gives me real relief.
Okay. Back to the snark now.
True Story:
Flying from L.A. back to Houston one day, sitting next to a movie producer's teenage son. His dad was sending him to live in Houston, because it was so much safer there.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that Houston was currently in the middle of a gang war, and had more murders in the past 72 hours than they had experienced in the entire previous year to date.
Flying from L.A. back to Houston one day, sitting next to a movie producer's teenage son. His dad was sending him to live in Houston, because it was so much safer there.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that Houston was currently in the middle of a gang war, and had more murders in the past 72 hours than they had experienced in the entire previous year to date.
And Traffic, Intolerable heat and humidity from April through October, and Murder.
I was there. It was scary. Thankfully, though, the Jezzies revolted and stormed the gates, ripping sweetness and light apart limb by limb and taking snarkiness to dimension not seen before.
"Although it's no surprise that men are slightly more clueless"
Enough said.
Enough said.
@TheComeback: Honey, it always matters that you're a boy. Sometimes it matters in a good way, and sometimes it matters in a bad way. But it always matters.
@ian spiegelman: You make your choices.
@Steeny Taylor-Wood: No, honey. There's a nice, safe place for you over at Martha Stewart Living. Everything is fresh and lovely and beautiful and pure. There is no need to worry about little things like money or debt, there is always a man willing to take care of pesky little details, and the world exists only for you and your friends and your comfort. It's a lovely little place. There is a rumor of an older lady that is sort of bossy, but you can probably ignore her. Just click your heels together and say "I do beleive"
$9.00? Wow. Ya'll really should check out some of the flyovers. Last time I checked, smokes were about $3.15 here, tax and all, for the name brands.
@Lymed: My editor mixes his valium with Jack. Course, this is the south.
Wait. If Slut Machine posted it, does that means she's going to sit on it, have her boner doner pose with it, and or cover it in chocolate? Cause if so, we need pix, stat!
@sushi314: That keeps it simple. And you have the added advantage of not having anyone accusing you of misquoting them.
"I think we can all agree we are guilty enough already"
Moe, Slut Machine, et al:
Moe, Slut Machine, et al:
Yeah, we can all agree with that. Ya'll should be exhausted by now, and in severe need of something....strong, and preferably alcoholic, at the very least, to wash away the bitter taste of having to write puffy pieces of sweetness and light all day.
As a writer, I hurt for you.
@hamburgerhotdog: Good answer!
