Same here! Landmarks are a pretty common way to navigate rural areas without a lot of signs.
I second this like, a million times. People who love and want kids struggle sometimes to hold themselves together. How much harder would it be if you resented that child in the first place? You're exhausted and frustrated and angry and here is this little being that needs you ALL THE FUCKING TIME and you don't want it, but you can't get rid of it. Fucking stressful as shit, even if you wanted the baby more than anything.
My elder sister is a linguist, and it's just staggering how many languages are lost. I didn't even know there were that many languages, and so many of them are just gone.
Thanks for this. There is a much longer history of Native kids being told not to speak their own language that might make this a little more painful for the family than just a simple "hey, don't talk in class." The teacher might not have meant it that way, but that doesn't matter.
I don't have any Native ancestry, but that doesn't mean that the languages are pointless, useless, or not worth learning. Languages are important, and give insight into people and cultures, communicate ideas, and unite people in ways that other things might not be able to. Words matter. I am not a linguist, either, so I don't really understand how to preserve a language, but I think it's really important to get records of these languages so they don't die, because they absolutely do matter. It's difficult, because there are so many languages and so few speakers (residential schools did a very thorough job of breaking communication lines), but it's fucking important work, and whoever says otherwise doesn't understand just how powerful tradition and culture can be.
I don't know when it gets better, but it does. And holy shit, do I know the "this is not even possible" feeling, but it can change. My little sister died of medical complications when I was about 7, and it took me quite a while to be okay. There are still days that I get really depressed about it, because you never get completely "over" losing someone you love.
But it will get better. Like BrutallyHonester said, there is no time limit. If you have any counseling resources near you, it's worth a look - it's nice to have someone to talk to without the pressure of a friendship and being reciprocal. Friends can help, too - especially people who knew your family member and maybe can share in the memories. What really helped me was being able to talk about my sister freely, telling good stories and bad stories and remembering who she was.
You have a whole community of people here willing to listen to you talk about whatever it is that you want to, whether it's the anger you have at the loss, the pain you feel, happy memories, bitter memories, hopes and dreams, whatever it is. Lots of people have had similar experiences, and we're here for you. #Groupthink
Thirding Be the Match. That was one of the organizations a doctor recommended to me.
Those are exactly my feelings. Thanks for putting that so succinctly and respectfully.
I'm the same way, personally. Some people are very pet-namey people; I am not. I just don't do it. I was engaged to a guy for two years (we were together for four), and I never called him anything but his name or joking insults. "Honey", "sweetheart", names like that just don't come naturally to me.
I don't really use pet names, and I'm one of those people who doesn't really like to be called them, either. If it's a nickname that is special to me, okay, you know me well enough to do that. It's not really offensive, it's just uncomfortable.
I don't like being called "hon", "sweetie", "love", "darling", "babe"/"baby", or "pet" by people I don't know. I find it overly familiar and sort of infantilizing. I know that there are regional differences (I'm from the Midwest part of the US), and I admit that being in the South makes me feel very strange, because it's much less intimate to call someone by a pet name there. Up north, if you're calling someone a pet name, you're generally, very good friends, family, or lovers (individual differences apply here, of course). I never even called my ex-fiancee "baby" or "honey". I almost always addressed him by name.
Names that have particularly sexual overtones, like "babe", I find inappropriate for the workplace/stranger interactions. But I'm sort of cold in a lot of professional situations, and I don't really get the whole pet name thing, anyway, so I might be seeing things that aren't there.
Ack, I actually meant to cancel it, because I didn't have fully-formed thoughts on it. Sorry!
You can kinda tell who means it derogatorily and who means it as just a descriptor, but it can still sting. #Groupthink
As a trans person, the reason I don't care for it is because it's primarily used as a slur. It's like calling someone a "he-she" or "shemale" - trans people can use those terms if they want (personally, I don't, because I don't like them, either) #Groupthink
Recently, I've seen this more. I don't really date (not interested right now), but when I hang out with people (usually men) from OkC (to whom I have made it clear I am only looking for friends) and pay for my own coffee or lunch or whatever, some of them are offended by it. I don't know if this is a regional thing, just common experience dating, a nerdy dude thing, a Nice Guy thing or what. Some people are very cool about it, but some are actively insutled.
That was what my mom told me. She could accept some things, she said, but not if her child were gay or trans. I wanted to ask her why she was so dead-set on "seeing me happy", but only in the way she thought was acceptable.
She seems to have gotten over it, but I guess we'll see.
You're welcome. :) I'm glad it helped. I think it can be very difficult to sort things out, especially when you don't know what it is that you want, or how to describe what was happening. And since you don't know, you do things that look weird on the surface. It's legitimate, and you're entitled to your own feelings on the matter.
Yes, hence the last sentence of what I wrote. This piece of evidence alone doesn't determine the case either way.
I continue, to this day, to text and associate with my rapist, because we are in the same department, and I don't want to deal with what happened, and I don't want it to interfere with my work and study. Anyone who sees us interacts probably thinks I'm a bit of a touchy bitch, but I don't think anyone would guess why.
He knows what I consider to have happened, he disagrees, but that's not the point. Sometimes, people do strange things after an assault. I continued sleeping with him, because if I could convince myself that I had wanted that to happen, then it was okay. If I kept sleeping with him, it couldn't have been rape. It was honestly very confusing, and it has taken me months to work out why I was so angry and upset afterwards and to call it what it was.
I'm not saying that's the case here - I don't know anyone involved, I wasn't there, and I have no idea if she's telling the truth or lying. Maybe she made it up, maybe it's revenge, maybe it really happened. But what matters is that the case is looked at thoroughly, and not just simply rejected because it doesn't fit the "correct" model of what a assault "should" look like.
The thing is that I like being alone. I'm not lonely. I'm not sad. I just don't want to make conversation with every person I come across. Maybe you're a social animal, but I'm not. What you find pleasant and energizing is sort of draining to me.
Talking to people is a risk. I don't know you. Maybe you're going to be friendly for a few minutes, then follow me home. Maybe you're trying to steal something from me. Maybe you're trying to sell me something. I don't know. Maybe you're super cool and knowing you would be totally awesome. How do I know, and what is the risk that I'm taking?
I'm sorry that you don't like the anonymity of big cities, but that's part of the appeal for me. I like knowing that no one gives a shit what I'm doing. I came from a very small town where everyone was up in your business, knowing just what you were doing, what you were feeling, and then judging you on it. In a city, no one gives two shits, and that's freeing to me. I don't have to deal with people nosing into my business that I don't want to share. It can be dehumanizing sometimes, but it can also be a real comfort to some people.
I don't see why Tim Gunn's situation is one of pity and sorrow. If he's okay with it, then why be sad for him? It'd be sad if he really wanted to have sex or be in a relationship, but if he doesn't, then pitying him seems a little condescending.
Good point. I will do that - it's every day at about 7:30-9:00 am, so I'll keep an eye out (nose out? Whatever). #Groupthink
Thanks! I forgot all about the RA option. I don't know if they're smoking in the building, or if like, someone's smoking out front, but whatever, it's worth saying I smell smoke pretty frequently in the mornings. #Groupthink
