Tepid applause to the editor who suggested she change the title from its original version, DON'T DO AS I DON'T DID.
It's like comparing assholes and oranges.
To which anti-choice activists in Ohio have responded:
"GET THAT PUPPY TO THE LEGISLATURE TO TESTIFY."
"GET THAT PUPPY TO THE LEGISLATURE TO TESTIFY."
When reached for comment, Poehler and Arnett's own small children cackled maniacally, muttering, "Just you wait... Mwahaha! MWAHAHAHAAA!!"
(Actually, they just gurgled a little and happily shat themselves, but the meaning was clear.)
(Actually, they just gurgled a little and happily shat themselves, but the meaning was clear.)
So the bloody horse's head would be too big, huh? Well, it didn't fit in the envelope anyway...
Oh look, it's a government bailout for the coat hanger industry.
Woah, woah, woah. Science is enabling planned parenthoods??
DEFUND PROTEIN. NO TAX DOLLARS FOR BIOLOGY! DEFUND IT, I SAY!
DEFUND PROTEIN. NO TAX DOLLARS FOR BIOLOGY! DEFUND IT, I SAY!
"Can the Subaltern Dance?"
My doctor told me he could cure my persistent frigidity with a vibrator, but he's really old-fashioned like that.
A spokesman from the manufacturing plant continued to advocate safe sex amidst searches for the stolen goods, saying, "Next time you're found with your chin on the ground, there's a lot of concern, so look around." He insists that the company's got hi-i-i-igh hopes, he's got hi-i-i-i-igh hopes, and reiterated, "Any time you're getting low, instead of letting go, just remember condoms are scant." He decried the theft, noting fears that the factory will have to shut down, "Oops, there goes another rubber-free plant."
Or a Cylon.
The plays have gotten really ruff.
@duckdeux: The prof is clearly a Caps fan.
@wtfox?!: "Will penguins be on the final?"
@Ginger Gal: I imagine it's a disclaimer to avoid being culpable for libel. Saying he hasn't been brought to justice is not the same thing as saying he's innocent; but saying that he is indeed a rapist when he hasn't been convicted as such would likely get the site's legal council in a tizzy, you know?
You must pay for everything in this world, especially overpriced suede boots that you neglected to pre-treat and then spilled coffee on.
"Buy your way out of capitalism!"
@kanel: Thank you!
You're the peanut butter in my jam.
Also, a woman blogged about her abortion - O brave same world... - not long ago and her posts were informative, supportive, hilarious, and just generally great.
One in particular detailed a recommended post-abortion recovery kit:
"1. Salty brothy soup/crackers — after surgery your body is alll waaaahhhhhh. I threw up a grip from the morphine so for every one’s sake you want to put stuff in you that’s easy on the belleh.
2. Hot Tea/ Port Wine/ Bourbon — If you were like me you couldn’t hold down the booze during the fetus invasion. Now is the tip to slowly sip some sweet ambrosia. Its so soothing. Stay away from beer. It makes you more bloaty.
3. Fuckin' Popcicles — You earned sweetness - but not dairy! That shit is hard to deal with after surgery.
4. At least 1-2 season’s worth of quality tv dvds. You really can’t do too much while you’re recovery except sleep and complain about cramps. Take the day to watch the a show that you can nod in and out of. I watched 2 seasons of The Office. I cried a lot. Stay away from Deadwood or The Sopranos. That shit is all about the existenial abyss. You don’t need that right now.
5. Tabloids — obvs.
6. The best pain pills your dealer can get — not that you’ll be in that much pain at all but it really doesn’t hurt to feel all floaty on vicodin. Or just get tynelnol if you’re scared to take drugs, puss.
7. Anything that brings humor to the situation. My fantastic friend sent me a huge package with girly themed lotion and make up, candy, magazines, fake candy grillz and temporary expecting mommy tattoos which blew my fucking mind!"
Any other suggestions for prospective aborters or aborter's designated hand-holders?
Also, a woman blogged about her abortion - O brave same world... - not long ago and her posts were informative, supportive, hilarious, and just generally great.
One in particular detailed a recommended post-abortion recovery kit:
"1. Salty brothy soup/crackers — after surgery your body is alll waaaahhhhhh. I threw up a grip from the morphine so for every one’s sake you want to put stuff in you that’s easy on the belleh.
2. Hot Tea/ Port Wine/ Bourbon — If you were like me you couldn’t hold down the booze during the fetus invasion. Now is the tip to slowly sip some sweet ambrosia. Its so soothing. Stay away from beer. It makes you more bloaty.
3. Fuckin' Popcicles — You earned sweetness - but not dairy! That shit is hard to deal with after surgery.
4. At least 1-2 season’s worth of quality tv dvds. You really can’t do too much while you’re recovery except sleep and complain about cramps. Take the day to watch the a show that you can nod in and out of. I watched 2 seasons of The Office. I cried a lot. Stay away from Deadwood or The Sopranos. That shit is all about the existenial abyss. You don’t need that right now.
5. Tabloids — obvs.
6. The best pain pills your dealer can get — not that you’ll be in that much pain at all but it really doesn’t hurt to feel all floaty on vicodin. Or just get tynelnol if you’re scared to take drugs, puss.
7. Anything that brings humor to the situation. My fantastic friend sent me a huge package with girly themed lotion and make up, candy, magazines, fake candy grillz and temporary expecting mommy tattoos which blew my fucking mind!"
Any other suggestions for prospective aborters or aborter's designated hand-holders?
@SarahMC: That Be The Verse.
#LarkinLovesYou
#LarkinLovesYou
