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"He's pretty, but acts like he's 12."

I ain't your... Masokist commented on Aestheticians Are The Recession's Best Groomed Victims

"I just started getting all this groomy done because I suddenly have way more disposable income than ever before."

I ain't your... Masokist commented on Female Writer Proves That Looking Up Ex-Lovers Isn't The Best Idea

"@JerseyGrrrl: Girl, he does it once every couple of years, and I've never gotten up the nerve to say "Could you stop doing this?"

I ain't your... Masokist commented on Female Writer Proves That Looking Up Ex-Lovers Isn't The Best Idea

"I'm in the middle of this ex reappearance bullshit right now!"

I ain't your... Masokist commented on Working Girls: Dressing For Success When Your Success Starts At Home

"I just want to say I'm at work right now, and wearing a t-shirt that says "Knockers: Great Big Ones Since 1978"."

I ain't your... Masokist commented on Last Night Liz Phair Descended On The Pampered Aging Nineties Theme Park That Is New York And Today We IM-ed About It

"@amandalepore: In SF she did all of Exile."

I ain't your... Masokist commented on Dear Patrick Dempsey: Ahh, Push It

"The bike just makes him that much hotter."

I ain't your... Masokist commented on Jennifer Aniston: "God, Being So Boring Really Makes Me Dehydrated"

"@marimari: She's an entertainer."

I ain't your... Masokist commented on Meet Chris, Scruffy British Everydouche. He Interviewed All His Ex-Girlfriends For A Documentary. Turns Out They're Still Scarred!

"I think I have to see this."

I ain't your... Masokist commented on If You Always Like The Emotionally Unavailable, It's Because You Probably Are, Too

"It's like you wrote this just to me!"