Do you know anyone else in Thailand? It's so expensive to ship anything there, but if you know someoen who is there already, and your friend's future address, I know I would LOVE to get something in the mail when I first arrive, even if it's something little like the 5 dollar equiv to a gift card for a grocery store or local mall, or the subway. Something that says yes, I really am here, i did this! Then you can reimburse your other friend for buying/shipping it? or if you find a thai site that ships to where she'll be that will take your money?
for the traveler, maybe starting a find for one of the europass type things? #Groupthink
for the traveler, maybe starting a find for one of the europass type things? #Groupthink
I spent a summer as an exec assistant, which was fun thanks to a riotously funny VP whom noone else liked but who would talk opera, try to teach me about wine despite the fact that i did not yet drink, and otherwise was good entertainment, but by far the best part o the summer was when I subbed for the receptionist when she complained of one of her multitude of imagined ailments. luckily, my boss understood the irony that I was the one with the actual chronic illness, so he let me use the time as a sort of blissful reading vacation, as long as i manned the switchboard carefully, endeared myself to the higher-ups as they passed by me to the executive secretary, and, much like the expensive flower arrangements on my desk, looked pretty when a visitor entered the office. i read a LOT that summer...here are a few faves.
Middlesex. i got so caught up in it thati once answered the switchboard with the line of text i was reading, instead of my standard greeting. you'll realize just how much of a problem that could have been when you read the book. Ah, Jeffrey Eugenides, one of the great sadnesses of my illness is that I had to leave school just as i was about to take your writing class. Sniff.
PD James, Death in Holy Orders, a stunning novel with fascinating characters that happens to be a gripping mystery, as well.
Bel Canto, wonderful if you love music; sweetly, sadly, romantic even if you don't.
Atul Gawande's books of medical essays, even if you have nothing to do with the medical profession and you never plan to be sick. EVER (ha!). still a must read.
Jhumpa Lhahiri's interpreter of maladies and Namesake, for their jawdroppingly beautiful prose amongst many other things.
Everything is Illuminated, for its use of mistranslation to add whole new meanings into phrases, and because it was origninally written when he was sinfully young, nothing like a quick kick in the pants to remind you to do something productive, haha.
#Groupthink
Middlesex. i got so caught up in it thati once answered the switchboard with the line of text i was reading, instead of my standard greeting. you'll realize just how much of a problem that could have been when you read the book. Ah, Jeffrey Eugenides, one of the great sadnesses of my illness is that I had to leave school just as i was about to take your writing class. Sniff.
PD James, Death in Holy Orders, a stunning novel with fascinating characters that happens to be a gripping mystery, as well.
Bel Canto, wonderful if you love music; sweetly, sadly, romantic even if you don't.
Atul Gawande's books of medical essays, even if you have nothing to do with the medical profession and you never plan to be sick. EVER (ha!). still a must read.
Jhumpa Lhahiri's interpreter of maladies and Namesake, for their jawdroppingly beautiful prose amongst many other things.
Everything is Illuminated, for its use of mistranslation to add whole new meanings into phrases, and because it was origninally written when he was sinfully young, nothing like a quick kick in the pants to remind you to do something productive, haha.
#Groupthink
i spent one fantastic summer working as an executive assistant for one of the largest family-owned companies in the US. the actual EA work was boring, but my boss was funny, gave me old wine magazines, and talked opera with me, and when the hypochondriac receptionist complained of any of her litany of imaginary ailments (ironic since I was actually the one with the chronic illness), i got to sit and read novels to my heart's content while manning the switchboard, greeting visitors, and otherwise looking innocently cute. Here are some of my favorites from the summer:
Middlesex (do not miss this. i was so engrossed i answered the phones with a sentence from the book once...when you read the book, you'll see how this was awkward. epic, life-changing, stunningly beautiful. my love for the book was apparently so well known in the creative writing/english depts that when Eugenides was rehired at Princeton, the newspaper contacted me for a comment. I'm still crushed that illness made me leave school before I could take his class)
Everything is Illuminated, for its use of mistranslation to open new meanings into phrases
Bel Canto, especially if you love music, but even without the love stories are stunningly sweetly sad
the Samurai's Garden, or anything else by Gail Tsukiyama
PD James, Death in Holy Orders Truly a fantastic novel first, with brilliant characters, but also an excellent mystery in its own right.
Jhumpa Lhahiri, Interpreter of Maladies or Namesake, both just astonishingly beautiful prose
Atul Gawande, either of his books of essays on medicine, doctors, and illness are worth reading, even if you are neither medical professional nor patient (and, let's face it, we are all a patient at some point in our lives, even if briefly) #Groupthink
Middlesex (do not miss this. i was so engrossed i answered the phones with a sentence from the book once...when you read the book, you'll see how this was awkward. epic, life-changing, stunningly beautiful. my love for the book was apparently so well known in the creative writing/english depts that when Eugenides was rehired at Princeton, the newspaper contacted me for a comment. I'm still crushed that illness made me leave school before I could take his class)
Everything is Illuminated, for its use of mistranslation to open new meanings into phrases
Bel Canto, especially if you love music, but even without the love stories are stunningly sweetly sad
the Samurai's Garden, or anything else by Gail Tsukiyama
PD James, Death in Holy Orders Truly a fantastic novel first, with brilliant characters, but also an excellent mystery in its own right.
Jhumpa Lhahiri, Interpreter of Maladies or Namesake, both just astonishingly beautiful prose
Atul Gawande, either of his books of essays on medicine, doctors, and illness are worth reading, even if you are neither medical professional nor patient (and, let's face it, we are all a patient at some point in our lives, even if briefly) #Groupthink
I've spent a lot of time in hospitals, and I know that what I've always appreciated are cards and if someone does something for my family. I know how incredibly hard the whole process is on my mother in particular (at point I was in for sepsis and my grandfather was dying from cancer one floor above). I know the nurses station in the ward where he is can tell you if the ward allows flowers, and if there is something like a Starbucks nearby that you could send a gift card from (my mom always loves to get a tea before she comes to see me...she says hospitals make her thirsty). #Groupthink
What upsets me is that someone in my year at princeton was brought up in front of the same "committee on discipline" for a far less serious sexual assault case, and he had to take a two-year leave (which may not seem that important, but one-year leaves are relatively common at Pton...two years, and it sticks out).
@Girl-With-A-Pearl-Earring: i was at internationals in...2002? i just posted about it because the NZers performed the Haka, and it was AWESOME. It was in Georgia my year.
#groupthink
#groupthink
@Mar84: Kiwi kiwi oi oi oi!
Haha, as a teenager I was in some sort of international competition, and the NZers did the Haka. It was not quite this sexy, but close.
Haha, as a teenager I was in some sort of international competition, and the NZers did the Haka. It was not quite this sexy, but close.
@LadyWeasel: Eeek! your cousin does such an AMAZING job! (ok, i admit i'm calling my mom to tell her this right now, haha...i saw glee for the first time on my laptop last summer when i was in the hospital, and my mom is now even more of a gLeek than I am, partly i think because she is friends with an aunt of lea michelle's)
#groupthink
#groupthink
It's 4:45, I'm home alone, I have a new spontaneous 2nd degree burn (immune disease, i hate you) and the disaster sirens are going off. Is it bad that I'm sitting staring at the bright blue sky and hoping there's a fire somewhere not too close to me?
#groupthink
#groupthink
@t.king-real mrs pratt: 1. ladies, thank you for reminding me that there are awesome people in this world.
2. permission to pass your blog onto my own personal support network? i have some personal experience with glio
3. brain tumors suck, people. my friend successfully lobbied the japanese government so that pituitary tumors now get full coverage for all treatment, including psychiatric (she's had horrible depression with it). that the US doesn't have something similar for you guys, i don't get. i promise to send this all to the bastards in my princeton class who are currently prepping to run our country.
#groupthink
2. permission to pass your blog onto my own personal support network? i have some personal experience with glio
3. brain tumors suck, people. my friend successfully lobbied the japanese government so that pituitary tumors now get full coverage for all treatment, including psychiatric (she's had horrible depression with it). that the US doesn't have something similar for you guys, i don't get. i promise to send this all to the bastards in my princeton class who are currently prepping to run our country.
#groupthink
Umm, does the man realize who her father was?
i mean, i know off the record stuff, but the ny times spelled it out several times...
i mean, i know off the record stuff, but the ny times spelled it out several times...
@t.king-real mrs pratt: hate to say it, but it might be an ovarian cyst.
take your temp? unless you have something immune going on (in which case go go go to the ER NOW don't be like me and play the waiting gme and by the time you go the sepsis eats through your bones), if it's appendix you'll spike a fever.
do you have a gp you see that has weekend oncall hours?
and i'd go now rather than later if you do think you should go. middle of the day there will be a lot fewer people on line, believe me.
#groupthink
take your temp? unless you have something immune going on (in which case go go go to the ER NOW don't be like me and play the waiting gme and by the time you go the sepsis eats through your bones), if it's appendix you'll spike a fever.
do you have a gp you see that has weekend oncall hours?
and i'd go now rather than later if you do think you should go. middle of the day there will be a lot fewer people on line, believe me.
#groupthink
@Jadis4742: I will admit to pleading "mixed connective tissue disease = no visiting my crazy sister with the crazy uncle from oklahoma who has a fallout shelter stocked with spam" but dare i say i'm actually kindof glad that he and my far saner sister and aunt stayed a couple of days with us.
That does not, however, mean that I'm meeting my (truly nuts...my father's 6 siblings are like something out of an epic novel saga) aunt in the city who thinks that i should be doing kelation treatments because she thinks that's why my cousin's RSD is currently in remission.
(oh and yes indeed my father's genetic line really should not have continued...we're like the Irish enemy of evolution)
Which is to say, I really hope you're well enough to get out of the house, and if not, hope he doesn't find the alcohol. good luck!
#groupthink
That does not, however, mean that I'm meeting my (truly nuts...my father's 6 siblings are like something out of an epic novel saga) aunt in the city who thinks that i should be doing kelation treatments because she thinks that's why my cousin's RSD is currently in remission.
(oh and yes indeed my father's genetic line really should not have continued...we're like the Irish enemy of evolution)
Which is to say, I really hope you're well enough to get out of the house, and if not, hope he doesn't find the alcohol. good luck!
#groupthink
@REALTALK: good god. just knowing that someone exists in this world who would say that kindof ruins life for me today. ulllggggg.
::feels sick::
#groupthink
::feels sick::
#groupthink
@Squirrel-dAway: Congrats! And, yes, you are completely and totally within your rights to be frustrated, annoyed, irritated...
All I can say is this is why I had a really hard time being friends with people in college who had never needed to work to pay bills. From guys who planned incredibly expensive dates and expected me to chip in (when "my half" of the date meant 6 hours working the computer help desk at my Uni), to friends who thought I was "being unreasonable" when I said no thank you to the offer of someone's "summer house" in Puerto Rico for a couple weeks, because 1. i didn't have the money for the plane ticket, and 2. summer was my time to make as much money as possible so that I didn't have to earn my living expenses during the semester.
So I say let your fiance rejoice in the fact that you are sane and not dragging him into a wedding he may not be ready for because you have some internal deadline for when you need to be married, clap yourself on the back for finding a partner you love and enjoy, and have an AMAZING time in Europe, hopefully thinking of your friend as little as possible.
In all seriousness, i think this might be a case where a letter might be a good idea. congratulate her on her upcoming wedding, say that you sincerely hope that the dates work out because you would really love to be there, and try to be as calm and (even though it would be understanding to be really really annoyed) not biting when you explain that you're really looking forward to the honeymoon and while of course you can't put a price on your friendship (even if, well, you can), if her wedding means that you can't afford to have the honeymoon, then you can't go to her wedding. While I think it's good to explain about how financial constraints are the problem, I would avoid anything that points out that she doens't seem to understand that other people have to think about money.
But yeah, mostly know that you're completely in the right to be upset by her actions.
#groupthink
All I can say is this is why I had a really hard time being friends with people in college who had never needed to work to pay bills. From guys who planned incredibly expensive dates and expected me to chip in (when "my half" of the date meant 6 hours working the computer help desk at my Uni), to friends who thought I was "being unreasonable" when I said no thank you to the offer of someone's "summer house" in Puerto Rico for a couple weeks, because 1. i didn't have the money for the plane ticket, and 2. summer was my time to make as much money as possible so that I didn't have to earn my living expenses during the semester.
So I say let your fiance rejoice in the fact that you are sane and not dragging him into a wedding he may not be ready for because you have some internal deadline for when you need to be married, clap yourself on the back for finding a partner you love and enjoy, and have an AMAZING time in Europe, hopefully thinking of your friend as little as possible.
In all seriousness, i think this might be a case where a letter might be a good idea. congratulate her on her upcoming wedding, say that you sincerely hope that the dates work out because you would really love to be there, and try to be as calm and (even though it would be understanding to be really really annoyed) not biting when you explain that you're really looking forward to the honeymoon and while of course you can't put a price on your friendship (even if, well, you can), if her wedding means that you can't afford to have the honeymoon, then you can't go to her wedding. While I think it's good to explain about how financial constraints are the problem, I would avoid anything that points out that she doens't seem to understand that other people have to think about money.
But yeah, mostly know that you're completely in the right to be upset by her actions.
#groupthink
@snacktastic: Oh, this isn't AT ALL what I meant by J depressing me...in fact I think everyon made really good arguments which is why I really did want to reply even though at the time I was having a lot of what in doctor-speak is called "neurological involvement" (my body attacks the blood vessels throughout my body, including my brain, and so when I'm doing especially not great, I have a lot of problems with spoken and written speech, motor control, difficult swallowing, etc) because I really wanted people to know that I was in no way saying that borderline somehow "made" her act horribly...I think you are spot-on with NPD, and I think in her case narcissism may play a significant part in her actions. I think everone managed to realize that what I was trying to say was that some of her statements and behavior (beyond the basic "faked cancer for money and attention" story) felt like she might also have borderline. Thank you for being patient and insightful.
What has depressed me is I feel like the fun, humorous, and intellectually stimulating website that I once really enjoyed, and the wonderful community that I once found in Jezebel, no longer exist. While I think there is still a great group of people whom I respect and whose writing I enjoy here, it no longer feels like a community in the same way. I feel like people no longe feel safe or comfortable here, or at least some really don't.
So I recognize that I've just been depressed in general thanks to a really bad "flare" of my disease, i just really feel like I've bid the old Jezebel adieu, and the new J I just don't feel resonates with me at all, and so even when I'm actively trying to read and keep an open mind and enjoy an article, I just don't find them interesting.
So while I keep on occasionally coming back for groupthink becuase as said there are still some commenters here whose readng I enjoy and even occasionally try to read the website as a whole, I'm just left feeling disappointed, so I think it's doubtful that I'll return often...most likely i'll wait awhile, become overly optiistic, and then feel disappointed again.
#groupthink
What has depressed me is I feel like the fun, humorous, and intellectually stimulating website that I once really enjoyed, and the wonderful community that I once found in Jezebel, no longer exist. While I think there is still a great group of people whom I respect and whose writing I enjoy here, it no longer feels like a community in the same way. I feel like people no longe feel safe or comfortable here, or at least some really don't.
So I recognize that I've just been depressed in general thanks to a really bad "flare" of my disease, i just really feel like I've bid the old Jezebel adieu, and the new J I just don't feel resonates with me at all, and so even when I'm actively trying to read and keep an open mind and enjoy an article, I just don't find them interesting.
So while I keep on occasionally coming back for groupthink becuase as said there are still some commenters here whose readng I enjoy and even occasionally try to read the website as a whole, I'm just left feeling disappointed, so I think it's doubtful that I'll return often...most likely i'll wait awhile, become overly optiistic, and then feel disappointed again.
#groupthink
The fact that Jezebel has gone from being both a website I enjoyed reading, and a community of people that I respected and enjoyed, to being yet another part of an awful day, makes me, well, I'd put this better but I'm in the midst of the Mixed Connective Tissue Disease flare from HELL, f-ing depressed.
I am 23 and I have fricking bladder prolapse and ulcers on my BSDJFEJ clitoris. My tongue is covered with sores, the cartilage in my nose has swollen so badly that my mom just had to snap my nose back into place, and I'm having the cluster headaches from hell.
Sigh. Good-bye, Jezebel.
#groupthink
I am 23 and I have fricking bladder prolapse and ulcers on my BSDJFEJ clitoris. My tongue is covered with sores, the cartilage in my nose has swollen so badly that my mom just had to snap my nose back into place, and I'm having the cluster headaches from hell.
Sigh. Good-bye, Jezebel.
#groupthink
@MissyMiss: I think that is completely accurate, and I never associated the two...but it doesn't mean that she isn't borderline because she is also an asshole. I saw her borderline symptoms as being separate rom the main bit...I just head/read some quotes from her that resonated with me as fittting into bpd.
@LessThanZero: i could definitely see it as NPD, I think it would be a more obvious personality disorder associated with her behavior (although, again, I think large parts of it is being a delusional jerk). I wasn't associating the borderline with her actions, more with some quotes that I read elsewhere and will repost wheb I am no longer struggling through the brainfog thick as jello tgat I have right now from the neurological afffects of cluster headaches (from cerebral vasculitis) ince said brainfog is what led me to post a nonsensical paragraph and get in this jam in the first place. Because I can't say it enough: mental illness is in no way the same as being a self-centered creep. Actually, creepy is exactly the word for this grifter.
@Proofer: Gahh I screwed up again I had your hashtag in my other reply , instead of in the following: I know I should wait until I can better express myself, but I just didn't want anthing of mine out there that seems to equate mental illness with being a f'ing jerk. I have a half sister and a half brother who both have struggled valiantly through terrible depression/anxiety/sometimes bipolar-like mood problems, maybe bipolar/borderline. I have been so so lucky that I don't have anything along those lines, but I do get a glimpse of it when I get these cluster headaches, and I always feel tis rush of sadness and sympathy as i imagine having to deal with it ALL the TIME. Also as to my sister, I know yet again I didn't express myself properly I'm wading through jello so I'm sorry if I'm a bit not getting at the right point in the following: I didn't at all mean taht my sister was purposefully lying or even purposefully being a drama queen. She truly felt that talking about her ailments and pain (which were always dramatic, which is just her way of telling stories, not a pyschological syndrome) would help to bond with me or show that she's thinking of me. Basically I just had seen these other quotes from the Cancer Scammer that made me think that mirrored those two things: Ther eason why I mentioned my sister and my neiece' test results is that I wondered if something sortof similar may have happened, where the girl had a lump in teh breast removed, and she may have not known the lump was benign until they actually removed it, and something happened similar to that which happened with my sister, maybe. With my sister, there was a huge amount of attention on her several month old baby, and therfore on A, my sister. We got updates and phone calls about the baby's progress a couple times a day, and of course would call A and give our sympathies and ask if she needed anything. Amy really loved all the attention, and was terrified that if Toni were doing better he wouldn't have as muhc attention, and that deep fear of rejection made her impulsively decide not to tell anyone when bloodwork came back clearing the baby of having my autoimmune diseases. I thought perhap it could have started out where Ashiley got atetnion from others as she was waiting to find out if the cancer was benign or malignant, was scared of losing it scared of perceived rejection (views less attention as not just less attention but as a straightforward rejection).
ok, again i know i'm not yet presenting my thoughts coherently, but I hope you at least no longer think I"m a drama queen, a liar, or someone who perceives being a terrible person as the same thing as mental illness.
ok, again i know i'm not yet presenting my thoughts coherently, but I hope you at least no longer think I"m a drama queen, a liar, or someone who perceives being a terrible person as the same thing as mental illness.
