The French: Not Exactly What You'd Call "Goal Oriented"

Les Bleus have pretty much proven at this point that they deserve their creepy, loser coach. Their lackadaisical 2-nothingness loss to Mexico Thursday was probably the worst French capitulation since the Germans outflanked the Maginot Line. And people were shocked. [Deadspin]

Tiny Motors Are The New Growth Hormones

Tour De France officials will be inspecting all riders' frames for concealed motors this year, thanks to this Swiss Saxo Bank rider. (Thought about adding something like, "leave it to a Swiss bank employee" but Saxo Bank is technically Danish.) [Deadspin]

What Is North Korean Striker Jong Tae Sae Actually Crying About?

(Aside from Manute Bol.) Anyway, a headscratcher I've been puzzling over for a few days now: what's with sobbing guy on the North Korean national team? Guy has never even had to live in North Korea! [Deadspin]

Ritual Pierogi Guy Sacrifice Sure To Fix Things In Pittsburgh

What do you do when you're on a 12-game losing streak, rank 30th in hits, are dead last in the National League Central, and have such a defunct PR apparatus that you have to rehire your GM in secret? [Deadspin]

Manute Bol Is Dead

From complications of a skin disease he contracted in Sudan. Don't let me ruin your LeBron James Appreciation Day, but for a good cry read this. [Deadspin]

Don't Let Notre Dame Touch You There, Big Ten

So Lou Holtz finally wants Notre Dame in The Big 10. I never took him for a bandwagoner, but his assessment that the conferences are eventually going to split into a few mega-conferences isn't lacking for evidence. [Deadspin]

Sorry Scott, We Are All Malians Now

I too felt a twinge of something almost like patriotism when I read of the latest attempt to burgle America of its greatness carried out by a shockingly brazen African thug. Then I remembered the thug in the White House. [Deadspin]

Why We Must Invade Mali

FIFA's review of Koman Coulibaly won't answer the question of how someone with two lazy eyes and a day job as financial auditor for the notoriously corrupt Malian government was allowed to be a World Cup official in the first place. [Deadspin]

The Ghosts Of Tampons Past

Tampons, like painful memories and the websites on which one was once paid to instantaneously chronicle in vivid detail said memories, can haunt. Herewith, Moe Tkacik passionately appeals for longer tampon strings by writing extra-long sentences. (Warning: it happened, again.) More »

Fill In The Blanks: I Should Have Known The Love Of My Life Was Actually _____ When ______…

I'm ripping this idea off Divorce 360 in honor of the Michigan woman who recently discovered her churchgoing podiatrist husband had two other wives — one of whom thought she'd married a Muslim guy named Mustafa. Surely there were signs? More »

If you assumed women in the great Pop Art Era were generally relegated to "muse" status (and I did, because I know shit all about art) allow this nice man (from Philadelphia, of course) to set you straight. [WaPo]

There is such a thing as "learning by doing" you know, California. [LA Times]

The End Of Herstory And The Last Man Manual

Lori Gottleib thinks you should settle for "Mr. Good Enough." Elizabeth Wurtzel concurs. Cristina Nehring thinks you should settle for nothing less than Sorrows of Young Werther-grade transcendent love. Sandra Tsing-Loh and Liz Gilbert were both at one point settled… More »

Saturday Night Social: SAG Awards Pregame Edition

Hey so, the SAG Awards are on tonight and we will be back at around 7 to provide full coverage. That is in like 9 minutes, but in case… More »

Pamela Geller: Harmless Zionist Bikini Blogger Or "Poster Girl For Eurofascism"?

I have not thought much about Likudnik bikini blogger Pamela Geller since writing about her heroic wartime bikini blogging deeds in 2008. But now she is under attack from a former conservablogger who claims he always believed in abortion rights… More »

What It Really Means When The Media Decides An Obama Official Is "Sexy"

So Obama's campaign manager David Plouffe is getting a job in the White House. Does this mean you might be getting the Administration you voted for, finally? More »

Restraining Orders

"Brian Miller, the owner of Manhattan Motorcars, said the Bentleys were more popular with Wall Street executives, not because they were less expensive, but because they attracted less attention. Yes, that is what Paris Hilton is going for too. More »

Serpico Vs. Serpico

The elusive St. Francis of copdom Frank Serpico is interviewed in tomorrow's Times. At 73, he still sort of even looks like Al Pacino circa 1971! Does the movie even hold up as well? I "rented" it to find out… More »
#dirtbag

Snookie & Co. Declare Themselves The New "Friends"; Gwyneth Paltrow Doesn't Feed The Tree

  • "When we try to go to TGI Friday's or Applebee's, we can't eat because people go crazy." It has gotten so Snookie has taken to trying to conceal her identity behind sunglasses, even at night. [Page Six]
More »

Which Former NBA Star Had An Affair With Some Guy Malcolm Gladwell Met At A Party?

And no, it is not the guy in the picture, I am fairly certain. But the beauty of Malcolm Gladwell is, I now know who Adonal Foyle is! [Deadspin]
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