Jezebel
Clips
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The Week That Was
This Week We Had A Ball
- ...Just like Lance Armstrong, Hitler, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the other dudes with a single testicle.
- But as far as we know, those dudes have bellybuttons, unlike Karolina Kurkova, the no-navel icon.
- She may have a navel, but Lori Drew has no soul.
- Michelle Obama has a soul and, according to an obsessed Salon scribe, a big butt.
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Lemony Goodness
TVgasm pointed us to this adorable 30 Rock spoof from Sesame Street called 30 Rocks, natch. In this episode, Liz Lemon (a lemon with glasses), has to count 30 rocks for a sketch she's trying to coordinate. Click on lil' lemon for the full clip! Orange you glad we're showing it? [TVgasm]
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Loose Lips
Michelle Williams is speaking out a bit about her reaction to Heath Ledger's death. She tells Newsweek, "I guess it's always changing…I just wake up each day in a slightly different place—grief is like a moving river, so that's what I mean by 'it's always changing'. It's a strange thing to say, because I'm at heart an optimistic person, but I would say in some ways it just gets worse. It's just that the more time that passes, the more you miss someone. In some ways it gets worse." • Ellen DeGeneres just taped a variety show in Vegas called Ellen's Even Bigger Really Big Show. "Last year [the special] was called Ellen's Really Big Show, but this year it's bigger," Ellen says. "I've gone up a bra size." Zing! • Tobey Maguire and wife Jennifer Meyer are expecting a second child. Their daughter Ruby is two, and the new wee one is due next Spring. Mazel Tov! [Newsweek, People, Just Jared]
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Reader Roundup
Best Comment of the Day, in response to Saucy!: "7 out of 10 males claim their pork loins have been covered in Jezebel sauce, while the same ratio of females admit to faking the sauce ." We say: but they never forget that Jezebel sauce tastes like burning! • Worst, in response to Twilight At Midnight Smells Like Teen Spirit: "Oh! I almost forgot to mention...Some overweight 40 something woman by herself was sitting behind me in the theatre and she started crying during the hospital scene!!! She didn't stop sniffling throughout the rest of the movie. Funny stuff." We say: Yes, reacting with emotion is very, very lame. Much less cool than making fun of strangers, like real winners do.
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Hug It Out, Bitches
Marie Claire Editor "Really Needed A Lloyd"
ForbesLife Executive Woman has an article about what several high powered women, including Marie Claire Editor Joanna Coles, look for in an executive assistant. When Coles was looking for an assistant earlier this year, she told HR she wanted a right hand man like the fictional Lloyd, Ari Gold's beleaguered assistant on Entourage. "I'm not sure they knew what I was talking about, but I realized I really needed a Lloyd in my life," Coles tells writer Irina Aleksander. "At my worst moment I can be a bit like Ari Gold, and I needed someone who, when I speak in half sentences, can finish those sentences." More » -
Fauxbamas
SNL is reportedly auditioning actors to replace Fred Armisen as Barack Obama. According to Time, "Finalists include "Colbert Report" regular Jordan Carlos, "30 Rock" writer Donald Glover, "Daily Show" correspondent Wyatt Cenac and "MadTV" cast member Jordan Peele." [Time via Daily Beast]
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Clips
Ashley Dupré "Felt Connected" To Silda Spitzer's Pain
Good Morning America aired part of Diane Sawyer's interview with Eliot Spitzer's hooker Ashley Dupré early today. She says that she didn't know who Spitzer was until the story broke on TV, because she was only concerned with her own life and didn't read newspapers. (Can she see Russia from her house?) Diane asked Ashley how she felt seeing Silda Spitzer looking miserable next to Eliot during a press conference as he admitted to cheating on her. "I felt connected to her," Dupré says, "Her pain, I saw the pain in her eyes." In the voice of Amy Poehler: Really!?!!? Really, Ashley? Also of note: Ashley wanted to make clear that she is an escort, and not a prostitute. "I think that prostitution is only about sex…whereas an escort is a lot more than that," she said. Clip above. More » -
Loose Lips
Usher is going to be a daddy for the second time! He and wife Tameka Foster are expecting son #2 on December 15. Maybe he will take after the Simpson-Wentz child and be named Staten Island Rikki-Tikki-Tavi Usher Jr. • Oh man, poor Kanye. He is obviously still very broken up about the death of his mother, and on November 5 wrote on his blog, "Hi Mom, Obama won!" He tells the Telegraph, "It's weird - I heard about my Mom passing on a plane and I heard about Obama getting elected on a plane. Like Obama, I'm from Chicago and I would have loved to have made it back to take in the celebrations that night but it just couldn't be done. I still find it unbelievable that he won." • The Roots got into a tour bus crash, but thank goodness everyone is ok. ?uestlove blogged about the harrowing event: "In reality the crash was all of about 7 seconds…but to do a 360 on the highway and end up ramped up (the van that crashed into ours was UNDER our double decker bus) in the air…is…well…a frigging miracle.”
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Drew no blood
MySpace Trial, Day 2: Lori Drew Says, "It's Not Like I Pulled The Trigger"
Yesterday was Day 2 of Lori Drew's federal trial for cyberfraud in the tormenting of 13-year-old suicide victim Megan Meier. Day 1 focused on the emotional testimony of Megan's mom, Tina, who described her daughter's depression and last words. Day 2 involved Tina's cross examination by defense lawyer H. Dean Steward and the initial testimony of Drew's accomplice in Megan's tormenting, Ashley Grills, who testified with government immunity. Lori Drew's hairdresser also took the stand, and her testimony about Drew's glee while mocking Megan was perhaps the most damning of all. More » -
Loose Lips
Word on the British street is that Madonna and Guy's divorce will be granted tomorrow. Guy will reportedly not be taking any money from Madge, and they will split cross-continental custody of Rocco and David in New York and London. None of this explains why Madge decided to wear astroturf in public. • Uh, supposed pictures of Prince William's penis! He is — blessedly — without a Prince Albert. • Animay is back on and going strong: John Mayer met Jennifer Aniston's dad last night in Beverly Hills. "Jen's dad seemed very impressed with John and the two got on real well," claims a source. • Michael Phelps is rumored to be the new Subway spokesman. Is that really a great idea? After all, we remember what 12,000 calorie Michael Phelps diet does to one's figure. [The Mirror, GayDailyHot (via Perez), Star, Perez]
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Gender Bending
Gender Is Not Black & White But A Color Wheel
Yesterday, Tracie put up a video of former Top Model contestant Clark saying ignorant crap about fellow transgender contestant Isis. Clark's argument was basically that God doesn't make mistakes, and so Isis changing her biological gender was going against God. I wonder what Miss Clark would have to say about the intersex, which according to The Smart Set, "is the word used to describe people born with physical traits both masculine and feminine, or with gender variations like Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (CAH) or Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (PAIS)." It's also part of the title of a new book by Thea Hillman, called Intersex (For Lack of a Better Word). More » -
Reader Roundup
Only a Bestie today because it's long, in response to New York Doctors Tell 26-Year-Old She Needs Botox: "I'm going to tell a story. It's about biscuits. Please bear with me. A Buddhist priest told me this story, about how he used to be the chief baker in his monastery. He tried to make the best biscuits he could make - fluffy, buttery, warm, delicious biscuits. But no matter what he did, the biscuits were never good enough. Too dry, or too moist, never quite right. He was getting very dissatisfied and upset with himself. Then, he realized that he was trying to capture the essence of the biscuits that he had as a child and that the biscuits he remembered were an idealized, unreal version. The reason his biscuits never tasted good enough is because they never could be, but only so long as he tried to capture the essence of an unreal, imagined perfect biscuit. When he realized this, he decided to make the 'biscuit of today' not the biscuit of the past. It was imperfect, unlike anything he remembered as a young child, but the most delicious biscuit he had ever had, because it simply WAS. It was not idealized or perfected, it was just itself. And it was perfect in its imperfections, because there was nothing else it could be. Ladies, I think it is high time we all start being the biscuit of today. Love yourself as you are, perfectly 'imperfect.' And do not put a knife (or botulism) anywhere near your cooter." We say: words to live by.
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Drew No Blood
Good Morning America did an overview of the Megan Meier story this morning. It covers some of the same ground as our earlier posts on the subject, but also includes a deeply chilling recording of the 911 call that Megan's mom, Tina, made on the day of her death. Click on Tina for the audio. Warning: It's not for the faint of heart.
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Stocking Stuff-Hers
New Carrie Fisher Memoir: Mom Got Me A Vibrator For Xmas
Celebrity memoirs are a strange breed. As a rule they're low on writing quality and high on self pity. But I had high hopes for Carrie Fisher's new memoir out December 2nd, Wishful Drinking, which is based on her one-woman show of the same name. Fisher, unlike most celebrities (especially ones spawned from other celebrities) can actually write, and I thoroughly enjoyed her roman à clef Postcards From The Edge. Wishful Drinking, though an extremely short book (about 160 pages, and the typeset is huge), is super salacious and entertaining. More » -
Project Ruinway
Yesterday we outlined the courtroom haggling over Project Runway between Bravo and the Weinstein Company, the producers who sold the show to Lifetime. It turns out that Lifetime is not going to take this lying down. Actually, they're suing everyone! According to the NY Times, "Lifetime filed a countersuit in a Manhattan federal court against the Weinstein Company (which produces “Project Runway”), Bravo (which previously broadcast the show), and NBC Universal (Bravo’s parent company), seeking exclusive rights over the reality series, whose new season Lifetime had scheduled for December." We'll keep you updated on the Project Runway Story: Not Without My Network as it develops. [NYT]
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Cut It Out
New York Doctors Tell 26-Year-Old She Needs Botox
Over at the Daily News, my buddy Leah, a comely 26-year-old who regularly gets carded at bars, went to Botox purveyors to see if they would tell her she needed a little "freshening up." The verdict? Many of them told her she was due for some face botulism:
"For someone like you, who at your young age is already developing those lines, I think Botox would be reasonable," said Dr. Heidi Waldorf, director of laser and cosmetic dermatology at Mount Sinai, referring to the area between my brows. "Clearly you are a squinter or a squisher."
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Loose Lips
Alec Baldwin on his 30 Rock lip-lock with Jennifer Aniston: "It was the greatest day of my life." He's J/K, people, but Baldwin adds, "Whenever you do that with someone, it's so fake. They're getting paid to kiss you and I'm getting paid to kiss her. But she's a doll." • 50 Cent filed suit against Taco Bell because they made him look like a chump, or, in legalese, "burnished his gangsta rapper persona by distorting beyond all recognition a bona fide, good faith offer." According to the AP, "The squabble is over a fake letter sent out by Taco Bell Corp. asking 50 Cent to change his name for one day to 79 Cent, 89 Cent or 99 Cent to help publicize its value menu." • Ben Affleck is currently in Congo trying to raise awareness about the war-torn country's plight. "I thought a lot of people are advocating on Darfur. I'd just be a very small log on a big fire. I started getting interested in Congo and I thought, this is a place where I can have a really big impact," he says.
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